Room 423, Monday Afternoon

[randomspanish]

Freddie was hiding in his bed.

He'd spent the weekend looking for friends he didn't actually have, trying to solve mysteries that didn't exist, and oh yes, he was tall, blond, confident and wore an ascot.

It was like some sort of terrible fever dream. And he was afraid that if he got out of bed, it would still be real.

Thank goodness for Furious

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[hurtingzeebo]

That was good: it meant Sam knew just where to find him.

She slammed through the door to his room without the least bit of regard to privacy -- or door knobs or door frames. Or the wall where said door would eventually hit or -- well, you got the idea.

"Benson!" she shouted. "Your mother is not allowed to marry Spencer!"

[randomspanish]

"My what?" Freddie said, utterly disturbed by that idea. "Who? What? Why?"

This was news to him. Disturbing, earth-shattering news.

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam was on a roll, and apparently not to be derailed by a clear demonstration that Freddie had no idea what she was talking about.

"And no one likes Rona Burger! I don't think Rona Burger even likes Rona Burger!"

[randomspanish]

"Nobody does like Rona Burger," Freddie said, still stuck on the omg-what-the-chiz of it all. "But what does that have to do with my mom and Spencer?!"

[hurtingzeebo]

"I don't know! Why would you date Rona Burger?! You probably drove Carly to date Nevel!"

Yeeeeeah. Unfortunately, Sam hadn't had an angel hanging around to tell her the causality of the whole alternate universe. She had absolutely no idea that it had all come down to Spencer being normal.

[randomspanish]

"Carly is dating Nevel!?"

This was worse than Spencer engaged to his mom.

Much, much worse.

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam glanced around for something to start hitting Freddie with. Fortunately for him, what she found was a pillow.

Unfortunately, she was pretty good at making pillows feel very solid.

"She didn't even know we were --" Whack! "-- friends! All because you --" Whack! "-- and Rona --" Whack! "-- made everyone go all --" Whack! "-- crazy!"

Yes, clearly that was what had happened.

[randomspanish]

"What are you talking about!?" Freddie said, flailing to try and protect himself. "I'm not dating Rona! I'd rather date a lizard before that!"

He was so, so confused.

[hurtingzeebo]

"Liar!" Whack! "I saw you! This weekend in Seattle!" Someone would have to explain alternate universes to Sam, sometime. Whack! Whack. Whack whack. Those last few were almost half-hearted as Sam finally gave up on trying to beat him up with a pillow and sank down to the floor. "I didn't like it. It was really weird."

[randomspanish]

"I wasn't even in Seattle!" Freddie said, trying to scramble away. "I was here all weekend! Except I wasn't me!"

Yeah, that excuse would work real well.

[hurtingzeebo]

"Right." Sam clearly wasn't buying it. "Who were you then, someone actually cool?" Not buying it at all.

[randomspanish]

"No," Freddie admitted. "Some tall, blond guy who was trying to solve mysteries and find his friends. It was really weird and even then I didn't want to date Rona Burger!"

[hurtingzeebo]

Okay, that was oddly detailed for an excuse. Sam narrowed her eyes at him.

". . . Well duh," she said finally. "She's horrible."

[randomspanish]

"Now would you stop hitting me and tell me like a civilized human being what happened?" Freddie said, ready to block a pillow to the face that he assumed was coming.

[hurtingzeebo]

"I told you!" Well, not so much. "I woke up in juvie and you were dating Rona Burger and Carly was dating Nevel and she barely even recognized me and there was no iCarly and Spencer was engaged to your mom!"

If it were anyone other than Freddie, Sam might have let herself actually cry a little. But, well, it was Freddie. She hadn't cried about cleaning urinals in front of him, and she wasn't going to cry about this.

[randomspanish]

"...Have you called Carly to ask her about this?" Freddie said. "Maybe it was a dream?"