Countdown to Goodbye
Title: Countdown to goodbye
Pairing: Kangin/Eeteuk
Genre: Angst
WC: 927
Summary: Kangin ignores the signs to his heartbreak.
A/N: Kangin-POV. This one popped in my head just as I was about to go to sleep and I didn’t have a paper ready so most of the original (and I think better) lines were forgotten. Mianhe!
05.
The first time you notice it, you didn’t really consider it a sign. You figured it was just one of those days when you’ve had one schedule too many and you’re body couldn’t respond as much as it wanted to. You two were the only ones left in the dimly lit living room, the other members too tired to fight for control over the remote. The tv was on but both of you weren’t really watching. You were talking about your rehearsal with Heechul and he was listening, at least that was what you thought he was doing.
“ -and then Heechul-hyung slips for the nth time bringing the other cast members with him. You should have seen the look on his face when he fell. Eeteukie? Hey, are you listening?”
“Hmm? Oh, sorry. I’m just tired I guess. Maybe we should just go to bed.”
“Oh, okay. Are you sure nothing else is bothering you?” You ask a little worriedly, caressing his cheeks.
“Don’t worry about me Kangin-ah. I know you’re tired too.” He simply answers, giving you a weak smile.
He gives you a chaste kiss and whispers good night before retreating into his bedroom, leaving you mouthing ‘good night, I love you’ to his back.
04.
You asked him out for dinner on the rare day that you had a time-off, your nerves buzzing with excitement because it’s been far too long since you had him for yourself.
“Don’t you like the food? You’re barely touching it. We can change restaurants if you don’t like it here.” You tell him as he pokes around his food.
“This is fine. I’m just not that hungry.” He replies.
“Oh, anyway. I’ve been thinking, we should go on a mini-vacation after Xanadu. I don’t know, drive around Seoul, just the two of us.”
“I have work.” He simply answers not looking at you.
You feel a bit guilty for assuming that you were the only one with a busy schedule. You were about to say sorry when his phone rings. And you don’t want to admit it but he looks a bit more excited with the phone call than being with you.
“Kibum-ah? Yes. I understand. I’ll be there.” He hangs up and looks at you with blank eyes before saying: “I’m sorry. Kibum needs me. Dinner was great.” forcing a weak smile. You just nod as he gives you a goodbye kiss on your forehead.
You forego telling him that you need him more than Kibum does.
03.
It was after your performance on SBS, appearing for Dong Bang Shin Ki’s episode of Chocolate when all six of you were still buzzing with the performance high that you see him glowing, looking every bit the angel you fell in love with. You wait for all the other members to go on their own ways before you pull him to the side to kiss him. He dodges your kiss and tells you “Not here. Not now. Maybe later.’ The only thing is, you never got around to doing it later.
02.
“Hi, Eeteuk here. I’m kinda busy so I can’t come to the phone right now so just leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Stay healthy!”
--beep
“Hyung, how are you? I miss you!”
--beep
“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk to you these past few days, work has been extremely busy and it’s either you’re asleep when I get home or I’m the one down. Anyway, I love you! Eat well.”
--beep
“I just wanna say I love you. I know you’re busy but please call me back.”
--beep
“Jungsu, are you okay? Talk to me”
--beep
“I-uhm, just be well okay? You know you can talk to me about anything. I love you!”
All your messages unanswered.
01.
He finally called you, asked you to meet you up at the café you frequent. (His favorite actually, but you’ve learned to love everything he loves) You go to the meeting place early, flowers in tow. Too excited to sit still that you were afraid your heart might jump out of your chest the moment he walked into the room, looking as angelic as you remember him. You decide at that moment that it’s the most beautiful you’ve seen him and the vision will stay etched in your memory forever. You were too caught up with your euphoria that you failed to notice that he wasn’t exactly mirroring your excitement.
He calmly sat on the seat across you, no kiss or smile to welcome you. You knew something wasn’t right but you still smile at him and hand him the flowers.
“Tough week?” you ask, just to break the silence that is threatening to suffocate you.
“Kangin, I‘m sorry.” He answers instead, ignoring your question.
“It’s okay. I know we’re very busy. I understand.” You reply.
“No you don’t! You don’t understand anything at all! Kangin, It’s over!” he blurts out, all grace and gentleness gone. You try to pretend that you didn’t hear what he just said but you find it hard to convince yourself further when he brings out the promise ring you gave him and carefully placed it in your palm.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t. I don’t love you anymore. At least not the way that I should.”
You pretend not to understand. Pretend that he’s lying and he just wants time. But you can’t pretend that there aren’t any tears streaming down your face and that your heart is slowly shattering into pieces.