d2mv. Autobot base on Diego Garcia. Loss

[random_xtras]

First Aid: *Long after Ratchet's woken, the small femme is still asleep curled up under the tarp without a sound.*

Ratchet: *looks up from cataloging the new materials he just brought back from an early morning Nexus run. Frowns as he realizes that something is missing, and then realizes what it is* //First Aid?//

First Aid: *There's a soft mumble over the comms in response.* //...Hmm?//

Ratchet: *surprised* //Are you still sleeping?//

First Aid: //Mhmm...// *She also sounds like she might just drift off again mid conversation*

Ratchet: *concerned now as he straightens* //...Or are you recharging? Are you in our bedroom?//

First Aid: //Mhmm...// *Doesn't seem to realize that Ratchet was asking two questions*

Ratchet: *drops box of nuts with a clatter and comes striding out of the storeroom. Steps right over a pair of Quads on his way out of the infirmary*

First Aid: *Is a bundle of femme on the berth when he comes in, not stirring at the noise, or the light that comes in from the opened door.*

Ratchet: *sucks air in through his intakes and hurries over to scan her closely, then gasps as his optics pop wide open*

First Aid: *Peers up at him with dim optics and a look of tired confusion* ...Hnn?

Ratchet: *voice shaking slightly* Your... your spark has... it's budded.

First Aid: *Stares at him at this, optics going wide.* ...What?!

Ratchet: *quietly, voice still trembling* Your spark has budded.

First Aid: *Pushes herself to sit up, unable to think of what to even say to that.*

Ratchet: *circulates deeply, then gruffly* This is terrible. I'm... not even certain what to do.

First Aid: *Rests a shivering hand over her chest* I... I thought I was too small...?

Ratchet: You are. There isn't even enough room in your spark compartment for the sparklet to reach the separation stage, and there's no room in your frame for a sparklet box.

First Aid: *Lets out a soft little whine at this and ducks her head* Then... what do we do?

Ratchet: *shutters his optics as he gently scoops her up and holds her close* *quietly, his voice holding static* There's nothing we can do. We... we're going to lose her.

First Aid: *Curls into his arms, letting out a choked sob at that statement before hiding her face against his armor*

Ratchet: *big mech is shaking as he holds his tiny mate protectively* ...This is my fault. I'm so sorry, First Aid.

First Aid: *Crying quietly, she shakes her head when Ratchet tries to blame himself.* No. No. It's not... not your fault...

Ratchet: I knew you were too small. I knew this was a possibility, yet I bonded with you anyway. This is my fault.. *quiet anger and grief in his voice*

First Aid: ...Please don't, Ratchet...

Ratchet: *bows his head and shutters his optics* //Sparkshield, you have the infirmary till further notice. I and First Aid are not to be disturbed under any circumstance.//

Sparks: //...Okay. Is... is everything alright, Ratchet?//

First Aid: *Just stays curled against Ratchet, frame trembling*

Ratchet: *switches to Sparks' private channel* //First Aid is pregnant.//

Sparks: //...Oh Ratchet...//

Ratchet: *very quietly* //I need to focus all my attention to making sure she survives this.//

Sparks: //Alright. I'll... I'll take care of things out here.//

Ratchet: //Thank you. Ratchet out.// *looks down at his mate, and then walks out of the bedroom to go sit in the big concrete easy chair that Salvage and Longarm build for him from cinder blocks* Shhh, First Aid. I'm here.

First Aid: *Lets out another shuddering sob, clinging tighter to him*

Ratchet: *clenches his jaw and holds her close, cursing his inability to protect her from this*

Late morning, two days later

Ratchet: *wakes and growls at himself for sleeping, then quickly scans his mate. Quiet groan of sadness and relief as he finds her alone in her shell with only a slight scar on her spark to show that a sparklet was ever there*

First Aid: *Is just pressed in against his chest, curled into a small bundle of miserable femme. It's debatable if she's gotten any rest or recharge, her optics are dim as she just clings to her mate*

Ratchet: *quietly, his voice heavy and full of static* It's over, First Aid.

First Aid: *Her optics dim further at this, and she ducks her head with a grieving whimper*

Ratchet: At least... at least it wasn't physically painful. *cuddles her close, offering her his link wire* *softly* I'll make sure it never happens again.

First Aid: *Doesn't respond to this, still hurting too much to think of anything to say, though she does take the link wire*

Ratchet: *gentle fingers rub her back* //Sparkshield.//

Sparks: //Yeah, Ratchet?//

Ratchet: //Will you bring me the nine foot tall stuffed lagomorph model from the box sitting by itself in the second storeroom? Two of the smaller models are for your... family.// *grip tightens slightly on First Aid as he looks to see what she's doing with the wire*

Sparks: //...Sure thing.//

First Aid: *Is quiet still, but has plugged that line in and now is just nestled in as close as she can get to Ratchet*

Ratchet: //Thank you.// *softly* -You're so quiet that I didn't realized you'd connected.- *soft sending of warm and protective affection over the link*

Sparks: //I'll be there in a few clicks.//

First Aid: *Is... a bundle of grief and shame on the other end of the link, offering a listless pulse of weary affection in return.* -...Sorry.-

Ratchet: *forgets Sparkshield in his concern over what he's feeling from his mate* -You have nothing to feel ashamed of or apologize for, First Aid. Nothing. Do you understand me?- *much love*

First Aid: -...If I wasn't so small... so weak...-

Ratchet: -That is not your fault. Nor is it a crime.- *gentle touch for her helm*

First Aid: *Just starts sobbing again, fingers curling tightly against Ratchet's armor*

Sparks: *Light little tap on the door*

Ratchet: *face shows his pain as he tries to mentally reassure his mate* //Enter.//

First Aid: *Just clings to him at this point, aching with grief over their lost sparklet*

Sparks: *Steps in quietly, ragbunny in hand* //...Here...//

Ratchet: Thank you, Sparkshield. *takes it without looking up* Please make sure the door is secured as you exit. *tucks the big soft doll over First Aid*

Sparks: *Nods quietly at that, backing out of the room to leave them be... and go cuddle her own little ones in a fit of gratitude that they came out safely*

Ratchet: *softly and tenderly* -I know it won't replace the one that has departed, but we can have another sparklet. One that will live and be strong.-

First Aid: *In a dull tone of voice* -...How? I can't carry them...-

Ratchet: *very softly and gently* -By the same means that Optimus and Sparkshield acquired Treble Clef.-

First Aid: *Just shivers a bit, curling in more securely against Ratchet*

Ratchet: -But not until you're ready.- *protects her with bunny and body* *gentle feeling like a kiss* -Shhh. I have you.-

First Aid: *Nods quietly, feeling a little settled at the small affections*

Ratchet: *quiet rumble and moves the bunny so that the funny face is peeking at her, and so that she can see that it is her favorite shade of blue and covered with a pattern of hearts and kisses* *sneaking feeling of loving, teasing hope that he might get at least a bit of a smile*

First aid: *Blinks when she notices the face... and while there isn't a full smile from the femme, there's a faint quirk of her mouth, and the sharp edge of her grief dulls just a bit*

Ratchet: *smiles himself and lovebombs her very gently, then gets to his feet and heads for the bedroom to lay down, wrap his lady in the tarp, and hold her for awhile*

((Co-written with sparkshield))