RENOVATIONS - Extensions...
This project was supposed to have lasted over the course of 30 days. Apparently a lot can happen in 30 days, including falling off the wagon at some points. So here's a brief summary of how I feel it's gone down.
A lot of the changes I'm experiencing, and a lot of the things that have stuck over this period of time has been internal. The biggest thing I think that has changed is still my relationship with God, and how, I kind of understand how God loves. That God is direct and involved, and that He's looking out for what's best, even if that's painful and annoying sometimes. Relationships are another thing that's changed. Just letting go of, and changing relationships that... I suppose are more harmful than good, regardless of how much you want to keep them is difficult. So I think mindsets and internal views have changed. Physical habits though... it seems they have yet to be formed as well as I'd like.
I'm doing better with my devotions. I'm still journaling. It lulled in the past week... I think, situations I've experienced, made it difficult for me. Just tough situations overwhelmed me and discouraged me. But I'm still trying to keep at it. I'm not working very well though. Yeah sure, I have bursts of inspired productivity. But they aren't habits being formed. I still sleep at 3 in the morning. I still wake up late. I watch more TV than should. I try to make up for it, which is why I suppose I still am able to make deadlines and do some work, but I dont' know that I would call it entirely responsible. I'm setting a deadline for my portfolio. December 20. I need to have it done by December 20. I need to sleep earlier. I need your help guys. 11:00 is bedtime. If I'm still on the internet by then. Get me off it.
I'm still working on keeping my appointments. I'd like to think I've been doing better. I honestly believe that the time I've been late, or not made appointments this past month have been out of my control. I guess I'm still in the middle of working at being more generally considerate to other people. I still say things carelessly and I still hurt my friends with the things I say. I still make bad decisions and I still have impulse control issues. I think, I'm looking for more... concrete action points for things like that. Because it's so relational and abstract I think I'm finding it hard to do anything about them. And I feel as if I'm also fighting against all the things I've established about myself that I'm trying to change. It's difficult to change when people already have a preconceived view of you that you're always going to be set against and I'm not sure how to work around that...
So. All these things have improved I think. suppose things just happened that aggravated them, and I fell behind. In light of all of these things, I'm extending the renovation period. I'm obviously not "there" yet. So. I'm still training myself to regularize my devos. I'm still working on actually working. I'm still trying to build my integrity. I promise Ian I would run a 10k with him by February. And I need to be happier.
Keep praying for me I guess.
A lot of the changes I'm experiencing, and a lot of the things that have stuck over this period of time has been internal. The biggest thing I think that has changed is still my relationship with God, and how, I kind of understand how God loves. That God is direct and involved, and that He's looking out for what's best, even if that's painful and annoying sometimes. Relationships are another thing that's changed. Just letting go of, and changing relationships that... I suppose are more harmful than good, regardless of how much you want to keep them is difficult. So I think mindsets and internal views have changed. Physical habits though... it seems they have yet to be formed as well as I'd like.
I'm doing better with my devotions. I'm still journaling. It lulled in the past week... I think, situations I've experienced, made it difficult for me. Just tough situations overwhelmed me and discouraged me. But I'm still trying to keep at it. I'm not working very well though. Yeah sure, I have bursts of inspired productivity. But they aren't habits being formed. I still sleep at 3 in the morning. I still wake up late. I watch more TV than should. I try to make up for it, which is why I suppose I still am able to make deadlines and do some work, but I dont' know that I would call it entirely responsible. I'm setting a deadline for my portfolio. December 20. I need to have it done by December 20. I need to sleep earlier. I need your help guys. 11:00 is bedtime. If I'm still on the internet by then. Get me off it.
I'm still working on keeping my appointments. I'd like to think I've been doing better. I honestly believe that the time I've been late, or not made appointments this past month have been out of my control. I guess I'm still in the middle of working at being more generally considerate to other people. I still say things carelessly and I still hurt my friends with the things I say. I still make bad decisions and I still have impulse control issues. I think, I'm looking for more... concrete action points for things like that. Because it's so relational and abstract I think I'm finding it hard to do anything about them. And I feel as if I'm also fighting against all the things I've established about myself that I'm trying to change. It's difficult to change when people already have a preconceived view of you that you're always going to be set against and I'm not sure how to work around that...
So. All these things have improved I think. suppose things just happened that aggravated them, and I fell behind. In light of all of these things, I'm extending the renovation period. I'm obviously not "there" yet. So. I'm still training myself to regularize my devos. I'm still working on actually working. I'm still trying to build my integrity. I promise Ian I would run a 10k with him by February. And I need to be happier.
Keep praying for me I guess.