great expectations
I fucking give off. I finally get some time off of school and work, and now I will spend the entire time stewing about how I should have done better on my econ final and my pragmatics midterm. On top of that, my dad didn't pay his credit card- again. This is shitty because he agreed to pay for gas and books. Its not like he pays for anything else (or ever has, for that matter), so it really pisses me off that he can't be bothered to follow through. You would think I would get used to his same old shit. YOu can never rely on the man for anything. One day, he is a great dad, and giving you advice about how to get a raise at work; how to be more assertive. The next, he won't pick up the phone to you and doesn't even tell you that he didn't pay his bill, so you look like a fool at the gas station, and the book store. ASS!
Furthermore, I am currently in a huge slump. I just finished with finals, I have my first bout of vacation time in forever, the skinny jeans fit, i can go to the bar legally, and I am leaving to go to Chicago with my lovely boyfriend for a fabulous weekend of shopping, drinking, and dining. However, all I want to do is sit and cry. Mostly over school, somewhat over my dad, also somewhat over the fact that this will all be gone soon. It will be replaced with a scratchy cubicle that is the texture of the most uncomfortable sweater Kmart could possibly make. And then what? Now what? what the hell am I going to do here? Don't know where I'm going, don't even know where I would want to go. Not here, but where? and how is this all going to work?
So here I am. Not at the bar. No one to go with, line is too long because said last final took too damn long. skinny jeans have wet bottoms that are making my socks soggy, am not packed at all for Chicago. No clue how or what to pack. Hate clothes. Cannot seem to remedy any of this at the moment. .. . .I really just wanted to get shitfaced, at the bar, with my friends. That is too much to ask on this fine day.
The trick is to stop expecting so much. Don't expect to ever have a good time, never make concrete plans, and about all; never trust anyone to do what they say they will do. Why did I let down my defenses??
Seriously. I just need to get over this. . . . .
Furthermore, I am currently in a huge slump. I just finished with finals, I have my first bout of vacation time in forever, the skinny jeans fit, i can go to the bar legally, and I am leaving to go to Chicago with my lovely boyfriend for a fabulous weekend of shopping, drinking, and dining. However, all I want to do is sit and cry. Mostly over school, somewhat over my dad, also somewhat over the fact that this will all be gone soon. It will be replaced with a scratchy cubicle that is the texture of the most uncomfortable sweater Kmart could possibly make. And then what? Now what? what the hell am I going to do here? Don't know where I'm going, don't even know where I would want to go. Not here, but where? and how is this all going to work?
So here I am. Not at the bar. No one to go with, line is too long because said last final took too damn long. skinny jeans have wet bottoms that are making my socks soggy, am not packed at all for Chicago. No clue how or what to pack. Hate clothes. Cannot seem to remedy any of this at the moment. .. . .I really just wanted to get shitfaced, at the bar, with my friends. That is too much to ask on this fine day.
The trick is to stop expecting so much. Don't expect to ever have a good time, never make concrete plans, and about all; never trust anyone to do what they say they will do. Why did I let down my defenses??
Seriously. I just need to get over this. . . . .