Stupid
I'm installing a server at work. It's a Microsoft server, with all sorts of arcane Microsoft functions on it that don't use the same name, or aren't set up the same way as similar functions on other servers. There's one thing, that they do, which we need to set up the server for. I find myself installing programs which I do not know what they do, but which are necessary in order for me to install programs that I do know what they do.
I feel like the whole thing is designed to make me feel stupid.
I don't like feeling stupid. Now, I know that nobody likes feeling stupid, but when I feel stupid I get depressed. Being smart is the main thing I've got on the world, and even on most of my colleagues here at work. There's no fall-back. I can't say "I feel stupid, but at least I can bench-press 200 pounds."
Okay, it's silly. I've got lots of advantages, when you look at it objectively. I've got good freinds, a lovely girlfriend, a decent well-paying (if often frustrating) job, and a life that would be considered unimaginable luxury in many parts of the world.
Still, I've always put a lot of stock in being smart, and feeling not-smart annoys me.