ZIPPY VS. ELIZA THROWDOWN
So I was on Everything2 when I came across this. I tried it for myself, using this quote generator and this program. All quotes were random and in no intentional order. More after the cut.
>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I'm dressing up in an ill-fitting IVY-LEAGUE SUIT!! Too late...
Is it because you are dressing up in an ill fitting ivy league suit that you came to me ?
>> Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!!
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> I guess you guys got BIG MUSCLES from doing too much STUDYING!
Perhaps in your fantasies we guess each other.
>> All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!
Please go on.
>> Hey, wait a minute!! I want a divorce!! ... you're not Clint Eastwood!!
What would it mean to you if you got a divorce ?
>> ... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ...
What does that suggest to you ?
>> I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go ... with EXTRA MSG!!
Why do you want a vegetarian burrito to go ?
>> Alright, you!! Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> Do you think the "Monkees" should get gas on odd or even days?
Oh, I think the monkees should get gas on odd or even days ?
>> I'm also pre-POURED pre-MEDITATED and pre-RAPHAELITE!!
How long have you been also pre poured pre meditated and pre raphaelite ?
>> I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany
Do you believe it is normal to be a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in brittany ?
>> ... I don't know why but, suddenly, I want to discuss declining I.Q.
LEVELS with a blue ribbon SENATE SUB-COMMITTEE!
Don't you really know why but ?
>> Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE with your BOOTH!
You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
>> Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?
Do you believe you are in graduate school yet ?
>> I am having FUN... I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN?
Do you enjoy being having fun ?
>> Tex SEX! The HOME of WHEELS! The dripping of COFFEE!! Take me to
Minnesota but don't EMBARRASS me!!
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger!
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!
Your data base julienned and stir fried ?
>> I want EARS! I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n secure!!
Suppose you got ears soon ?
>> Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley?
Why do you say your bobbie vinton medley ?
>> I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT" in
1965!!
You say you love rock 'n roll ?
>> Are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?
Did you think they might not be the stewed prunes still in the hair dryer ?
>> A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!
Lets discuss further why your data base julienned and stir fried .
>> With YOU, I can be MYSELF ... We don't NEED Dan Rather ...
What are your feelings now ?
>> But they went to MARS around 1953!!
Earlier you said your bobbie vinton medley .
>> I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
>> BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot ...
Is it important that your co pilot ?
>> While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account ... his
will have the same effect as two "STARCH BLOCKERS"!
What makes you think I am chewing ?
>> Yow! I want my nose in lights!
Your nose in lights ?
>> Uh-oh!! I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!
>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I'm dressing up in an ill-fitting IVY-LEAGUE SUIT!! Too late...
Is it because you are dressing up in an ill fitting ivy league suit that you came to me ?
>> Loni Anderson's hair should be LEGALIZED!!
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> I guess you guys got BIG MUSCLES from doing too much STUDYING!
Perhaps in your fantasies we guess each other.
>> All this time I've been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!
Please go on.
>> Hey, wait a minute!! I want a divorce!! ... you're not Clint Eastwood!!
What would it mean to you if you got a divorce ?
>> ... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ...
What does that suggest to you ?
>> I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go ... with EXTRA MSG!!
Why do you want a vegetarian burrito to go ?
>> Alright, you!! Imitate a WOUNDED SEAL pleading for a PARKING SPACE!!
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> Do you think the "Monkees" should get gas on odd or even days?
Oh, I think the monkees should get gas on odd or even days ?
>> I'm also pre-POURED pre-MEDITATED and pre-RAPHAELITE!!
How long have you been also pre poured pre meditated and pre raphaelite ?
>> I'm a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in Brittany
Do you believe it is normal to be a fuschia bowling ball somewhere in brittany ?
>> ... I don't know why but, suddenly, I want to discuss declining I.Q.
LEVELS with a blue ribbon SENATE SUB-COMMITTEE!
Don't you really know why but ?
>> Pardon me, but do you know what it means to be TRULY ONE with your BOOTH!
You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
>> Am I in GRADUATE SCHOOL yet?
Do you believe you are in graduate school yet ?
>> I am having FUN... I wonder if it's NET FUN or GROSS FUN?
Do you enjoy being having fun ?
>> Tex SEX! The HOME of WHEELS! The dripping of COFFEE!! Take me to
Minnesota but don't EMBARRASS me!!
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Catsup and Mustard all over the place! It's the Human Hamburger!
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> I'd like MY data-base JULIENNED and stir-fried!
Your data base julienned and stir fried ?
>> I want EARS! I want two ROUND BLACK EARS to make me feel warm 'n secure!!
Suppose you got ears soon ?
>> Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley?
Why do you say your bobbie vinton medley ?
>> I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT" in
1965!!
You say you love rock 'n roll ?
>> Are the STEWED PRUNES still in the HAIR DRYER?
Did you think they might not be the stewed prunes still in the hair dryer ?
>> A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!
Lets discuss further why your data base julienned and stir fried .
>> With YOU, I can be MYSELF ... We don't NEED Dan Rather ...
What are your feelings now ?
>> But they went to MARS around 1953!!
Earlier you said your bobbie vinton medley .
>> I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
>> BELA LUGOSI is my co-pilot ...
Is it important that your co pilot ?
>> While you're chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG'S bank account ... his
will have the same effect as two "STARCH BLOCKERS"!
What makes you think I am chewing ?
>> Yow! I want my nose in lights!
Your nose in lights ?
>> Uh-oh!! I'm having TOO MUCH FUN!!