Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Its pretty amazing how much one person can change in a year.
But at the same time be exactly the same person they were.
I was 17 before I kissed my first boy and it was a disaster. Now I've made out with four guys in one "year" (aka school year) and only one was a bad kisser.
I was 17 before I drank for the first time. Now I drink some weekends, and I've been drunk and thrown up because of it, but I'm still responsible about drinking (most of the time).
Before this year I was never one to go out and party, I would stay home with my family. Its not that I didn't want to go out, I just didn't know how to ask if I could.
I was always too shy and too afraid of rejection. I was too quiet and never felt pretty enough.
I'm still shy and still afraid of rejection, but I can take the bad with the good and push onward. I'm still working on my self image, but everyday I feel more and more like the beautiful person that people tell me I am.
I'm much more bold around guys than I used to be. The old Kaitlyn would never let a boy sleep in her bed, let alone a boy who she had just met. And she never would have put herself out enough to call him and organize another night together.
But the old Kaitlyn is still in there, I still believe that my first time needs to be special, with someone that I love and that loves me back. Nothing has changed there.
And even as much as I feel like I've changed as a person, I still feel like the same old Kaitlyn. I still feel like that innocent little girl from high school.
I still have the same values, I still believe the same things, its just the outside of me that has changed, not the inside.
But if the outside has changed doesn't that mean that the inside has changed as well? I mean outside/inside its all me isn't it?
Its amazing if you look at pictures of me from the beginning of the school year and now, its like my body realizes that I'm changing and so is changing with me. Maybe it just the way I carry myself and the fact that I wear makeup now, but I feel like its more than that. I almost feel like I'm becoming a woman.
This is all really hard to explain but I'm trying my best right now...
I just feel like so much has happened this year that there is no way that I couldn't have changed. And I have changed, everyone from Heather to Colleen have told me so. Even my dad mentioned it one time when I came out to the car to go home for dinner... he said that he didn't even recognize that it was me until I got closer...
I'm kind of excited for this summer to see what people I went to high school with think... and to see if they've changed as well...
Oh... and 23 Days to the Beach!!!
That was for Stephanie... xP ((EDIT: my count down ticker thing is wrong b/c I set it for the 5th of June, so really we have less days xD ))
I think I'm going to try and find a picture from the beginning of the year and one taken recently to compare how much my physical appearance has changed...
Oh and this entry is public because I'm proud of how much I've changed... we'll let the world know...
But at the same time be exactly the same person they were.
I was 17 before I kissed my first boy and it was a disaster. Now I've made out with four guys in one "year" (aka school year) and only one was a bad kisser.
I was 17 before I drank for the first time. Now I drink some weekends, and I've been drunk and thrown up because of it, but I'm still responsible about drinking (most of the time).
Before this year I was never one to go out and party, I would stay home with my family. Its not that I didn't want to go out, I just didn't know how to ask if I could.
I was always too shy and too afraid of rejection. I was too quiet and never felt pretty enough.
I'm still shy and still afraid of rejection, but I can take the bad with the good and push onward. I'm still working on my self image, but everyday I feel more and more like the beautiful person that people tell me I am.
I'm much more bold around guys than I used to be. The old Kaitlyn would never let a boy sleep in her bed, let alone a boy who she had just met. And she never would have put herself out enough to call him and organize another night together.
But the old Kaitlyn is still in there, I still believe that my first time needs to be special, with someone that I love and that loves me back. Nothing has changed there.
And even as much as I feel like I've changed as a person, I still feel like the same old Kaitlyn. I still feel like that innocent little girl from high school.
I still have the same values, I still believe the same things, its just the outside of me that has changed, not the inside.
But if the outside has changed doesn't that mean that the inside has changed as well? I mean outside/inside its all me isn't it?
Its amazing if you look at pictures of me from the beginning of the school year and now, its like my body realizes that I'm changing and so is changing with me. Maybe it just the way I carry myself and the fact that I wear makeup now, but I feel like its more than that. I almost feel like I'm becoming a woman.
This is all really hard to explain but I'm trying my best right now...
I just feel like so much has happened this year that there is no way that I couldn't have changed. And I have changed, everyone from Heather to Colleen have told me so. Even my dad mentioned it one time when I came out to the car to go home for dinner... he said that he didn't even recognize that it was me until I got closer...
I'm kind of excited for this summer to see what people I went to high school with think... and to see if they've changed as well...
Oh... and 23 Days to the Beach!!!
That was for Stephanie... xP ((EDIT: my count down ticker thing is wrong b/c I set it for the 5th of June, so really we have less days xD ))
I think I'm going to try and find a picture from the beginning of the year and one taken recently to compare how much my physical appearance has changed...
Oh and this entry is public because I'm proud of how much I've changed... we'll let the world know...