NINJA BIKERS: The Movie
(based on a true story)
On the outskirts of Tokyo, a bunch of Hells Angels-wannabe type bikers are riding around the streets, running cars off the road and causing general mayhem, when they happen across a bar named “The Defeated Samurai.” They wander in and immediately start causing trouble with the locals. The leader of the gang spots a feisty lady, and predictably tries to force himself on her.
Then the Ninja Bikers step in.
The Ninja Bikers are mightily pissed that some other biker group has taken up residence in their bar. The Ninja Bikers throw their shuriken (throwing stars) in the face of the gang leader. The Ninja Bikers chop up the rival motorcyclists with their katanas. The Ninja Bikers drive their Kawasaki Ninja motorbikes all over their heads. The Ninja Bikers drive one of their bikes into the butane gas canisters in the kitchen and blow the place sky high.
The Ninja Bikers are triumphant. The bar is destroyed and the rival motorcyclists are dead, as is the barman, the feisty lady, all the bar regulars and the gang leader, who rode his bike into the butane canisters. The Ninja Bikers are satisfied that he died with honour.
In Tokyo Town Hall, the Mayor of Tokyo is ranting about how it’s election year and he needs to get the public on his side by doing something to combat socially intimidating gangs. The Mayor cannot decide whether to go after the bikers or the ninjas. Then an aide clears his throat and says “I believe I may have a solution” as the camera zooms in for an unnecessarily close-up.
Meanwhile, in an abandoned warehouse down town, a group of ninjas are having a Ninja Bakesale to raise money for the forthcoming Ninja Activity Weekend. A young ninja asks his sensei why they have not invited anyone to the Ninja Bakesale and the sensei explains that being a ninja is all about being stealthy. Then the Ninja Bikers arrive and demand to be allowed to sell their Raisin Cookies at the Ninja Bakesale. The old-school ninjas refuse - the Ninja Bikers are not PROPER ninjas because they ride motorbikes and motorbikes are not stealthy. The new leader of the Ninja Bikers shouts “I ride my Kawasaki over your stealthy scrotum!”
The Ninja Bikers ride all over the warehouse and destroy all the tables for the bakesale. The Ninja Bikers throw flour all over the regular ninjas and ruin their neat black costumes. The Ninja Bikers blow up the warehouse by driving two bikes into each other at full speed. The Ninja Bikers are triumphant. The Bakesale is destroyed and the rival ninjas are all dead, as are half of the Ninja Bikers, including their new leader. The remaining Ninja Bikers are satisfied that they died with honour.
In act 2: cop-fights, sexy kunoichi and the Mayor’s evil plan to wipe out the Ninja Bikers.
On the outskirts of Tokyo, a bunch of Hells Angels-wannabe type bikers are riding around the streets, running cars off the road and causing general mayhem, when they happen across a bar named “The Defeated Samurai.” They wander in and immediately start causing trouble with the locals. The leader of the gang spots a feisty lady, and predictably tries to force himself on her.
Then the Ninja Bikers step in.
The Ninja Bikers are mightily pissed that some other biker group has taken up residence in their bar. The Ninja Bikers throw their shuriken (throwing stars) in the face of the gang leader. The Ninja Bikers chop up the rival motorcyclists with their katanas. The Ninja Bikers drive their Kawasaki Ninja motorbikes all over their heads. The Ninja Bikers drive one of their bikes into the butane gas canisters in the kitchen and blow the place sky high.
The Ninja Bikers are triumphant. The bar is destroyed and the rival motorcyclists are dead, as is the barman, the feisty lady, all the bar regulars and the gang leader, who rode his bike into the butane canisters. The Ninja Bikers are satisfied that he died with honour.
In Tokyo Town Hall, the Mayor of Tokyo is ranting about how it’s election year and he needs to get the public on his side by doing something to combat socially intimidating gangs. The Mayor cannot decide whether to go after the bikers or the ninjas. Then an aide clears his throat and says “I believe I may have a solution” as the camera zooms in for an unnecessarily close-up.
Meanwhile, in an abandoned warehouse down town, a group of ninjas are having a Ninja Bakesale to raise money for the forthcoming Ninja Activity Weekend. A young ninja asks his sensei why they have not invited anyone to the Ninja Bakesale and the sensei explains that being a ninja is all about being stealthy. Then the Ninja Bikers arrive and demand to be allowed to sell their Raisin Cookies at the Ninja Bakesale. The old-school ninjas refuse - the Ninja Bikers are not PROPER ninjas because they ride motorbikes and motorbikes are not stealthy. The new leader of the Ninja Bikers shouts “I ride my Kawasaki over your stealthy scrotum!”
The Ninja Bikers ride all over the warehouse and destroy all the tables for the bakesale. The Ninja Bikers throw flour all over the regular ninjas and ruin their neat black costumes. The Ninja Bikers blow up the warehouse by driving two bikes into each other at full speed. The Ninja Bikers are triumphant. The Bakesale is destroyed and the rival ninjas are all dead, as are half of the Ninja Bikers, including their new leader. The remaining Ninja Bikers are satisfied that they died with honour.
In act 2: cop-fights, sexy kunoichi and the Mayor’s evil plan to wipe out the Ninja Bikers.