For lovesguinness

[thinbluegee]

I need to ask you something, and I need you to not be a shit about it.

Comments

[lovesguinness]

I'm offended. When am I ever a shit?

[thinbluegee]

Toughen up, Princess. Don't play innocent. You're always a shit.

[lovesguinness]

Coming on hard and defensive like that, you're going to make is difficult for me to feel comfortable with your questions. I thought we had a good working relationship.

[thinbluegee]

I'm sorry, you just bring it out automatically. And there was just the one question. This isn't about our working relationship.

[lovesguinness]

See, this I don't get. I really don't. Don't think I haven't been catching the way you look at me, like you think I'm a gigantic prick. In all seriousness, have I done something to shit you? I really did think we were cool with each other, but I think I missed a memo, or something.

[thinbluegee]

Yes, you've been all masked you! I'm trying not to be a fucking crazy bitch, or Vee, or whoever you think I'm being. We're cool... mostly. I just... fuck it.

Will you just fucking go out to fucking dinner with me?

Please.

[lovesguinness]

Masked? We aren't completely cool. I keep checking my coffee for spit is how cool we aren't.

If I asked a lassie out to dinner like that, she'd belt me down. Why should you get away with it?

[thinbluegee]

Forget that part. Look, I really am sorry, okay? I'm trying to fix it. I didn't spit in your coffee. Just licked your donut before handing it over.

Because I'm the lassie? Take two...

Euan Fitzpatrick, would you please do me the honour of going out to dinner with me?

[lovesguinness]

That's okay, I left it for you in your third drawer down, pushed way to the back behind your girly magazines. Should be nice and mouldy by the time you find it. I still wanna know what you mean by masked.

Aye, sure. Why not.

[thinbluegee]

I'll find it. Then stick it in your locker under the porn stash. I do so love the presents you leave me. Putting up a front, putting on an act, not letting your guard down.

You're saying yes? Are you sure?

[lovesguinness]

I dinnae need porn, love. Aye, of course I'm fucking not letting my guard down, and what copper doesn't put up a front? I've lived in this city, what, three weeks? I don't know who I can trust yet.

Why? Having second thoughts about asking?

[thinbluegee]

That's why I know you won't find the donut. You don't think you can trust me?

No, just didn't plan on you saying yes.

[lovesguinness]

I'll just pretend to be freaked out until some lassie takes pity on me and clears it out for me. Right now? Not so sure. You've spent the last week giving me the Evil Eyeball. I'm not ashamed to admit to you that I'm not sure if I can trust you. I'm not gonna lie when you ask me something.

Why not?

[thinbluegee]

See, you are a shit. Just a charming one. You could have said something. It's not like I was doing it on purpose. So all I have to do is ask you questions, and you'll answer them? I'll do the same for you, you know.

Because I didn't think you'd want to have dinner with me.

[lovesguinness]

Aye, of course I am. It takes too much energy to be 100% pure. I've had people I thought I trusted in my past well fuck me over. I'm just more wary now. I'll answer whatever you want to know. I'll answer it honestly. You just might not always be satisfied with the answer.

Why, do you eat like a horse, or something?

[thinbluegee]

Life would be boring if we were all 100% pure. I don't want to fuck you over. I'm trying not to. I'm just... mental. So I'm starting to learn, but at least you are honest.

No, I just thought I wasn't someone you'd want to date.