(no subject)
there is so much i feel i'm holding inside of me. and what does it mean when someone says to you...i'm an asshole and i know we're going to accidently hook up a lot and there's nothing i'm going to do about it...i mean, i guess it means exactly what is said, but at the same time it all seems a little ridiculous. you cant accidently lhook up with someone if you know you're going to do it...so does that mean that this is all on purpose...and then if it is, why?
see, that's the most important question and it's the only one i have no clue of the answer to. it's the why. why are certain things happening, why do people do what they do, why does one person seem to like another person so much and then turn around and end the night with you? i don't know the answers to any of these questions. sometimes i feel like i don't know the answer to any of the questions and that someday everyone will discover my fraud of intelligence and perception...i'm not perceptive...not when it comes to this stuff. when it coms to this stuff it's as if i'm standing on train tracks blindfolded and with ear plugs and when the train is too close to jump off the tracks, suddenly the blindfold and ear plugs disappear and i'm getting hit by this train that i didnt see or hear coming and don't really like...at least in theory anyway.
i dont know. right now its not all that bad. i'll figure it all out in the morning.
see, that's the most important question and it's the only one i have no clue of the answer to. it's the why. why are certain things happening, why do people do what they do, why does one person seem to like another person so much and then turn around and end the night with you? i don't know the answers to any of these questions. sometimes i feel like i don't know the answer to any of the questions and that someday everyone will discover my fraud of intelligence and perception...i'm not perceptive...not when it comes to this stuff. when it coms to this stuff it's as if i'm standing on train tracks blindfolded and with ear plugs and when the train is too close to jump off the tracks, suddenly the blindfold and ear plugs disappear and i'm getting hit by this train that i didnt see or hear coming and don't really like...at least in theory anyway.
i dont know. right now its not all that bad. i'll figure it all out in the morning.