With regard to my newborn arachnid kids, there's something we must discuss:
Ah life, for you I am grateful, but alas, I hate not knowing why. Because what is the point of anything without an understanding of it.
I don't miss him anymore. I figured that was a good thing. I just need to keep numbing myself of all feeling. I don't miss her either. It's all working, and today I was given someone from Montwood's gold card at Taco Bell. I've been complaining that I've needed a break, maybe this is the first sign of one. I also got the last JC was a streaker shirt on threadless. And so far nothing awful has happened since then. I've just been all depressed because no matter how many sweet shirts or discounts I get it's not gonna change the fact I have noone to rely on. Hell, I can't fucking rely on myself. Only recently did I discover that's all I want is someone I know will be there for me, because it hurts having noone. I mean, yes, I love Katie, she's like, the one person who's there for me the most, but I know she's really busy and can't be there for me 24/7 and she has her own problems and needs someone who's there for her too, but I can't say I can do that because I can't even do that for myself. And then I have Rory aswell, but there's really noone else. My sister is too involved with herself to have anyone rely on her, and my parents are too pissed off at each other and at life to be relied upon, and my brother... Well, I think he's like me, can't even look back on himself to rely on. I just. I need someone. I need someone who I can call at any hour of the day and they will tell me that everything is going to be ok and that they are there for me. I mean, I'm not saying I'm going to need them to pay attention to me twenty-four seven or drop what they are doing, but I do need someone who even if they can't be with me physically when I need them, I know for sure that they do care and that they do wish with all of their heart that it was possible, and then I wish that I could do all the same things for them. But alas, what I'm asking for is love, and love isn't as simple as that. At least that's what I'm told.
Perhaps we should sit them down and explain how not to be saved.