I’m guilty but I’m safe for one more day...six feet under the stars
oh man.
I think my life is just not going the way that i want it to be. ugh. You know i am probably so bad with the problem of envy. errr... like i totally don't understand why but i just do. I don't know i get so jealous of people and it just irritates me. It's like those one in a billion chances that you would ever get. But i am just rambiling on something just so stupid. but what the heck.
I GOT MY SENIOR PICTURES!
and they are HAWT.
(i am just trying to figure out how i'm going to get them on a CD)
i'll just need to ask for one. duh.
i am depressed.
is it possible for a girl to fall in love with a guy and he will probably not even never know?
we'll he probably maybe gets the idea (or he's clueless) about how i feel for him.
i mean i literally turned into a blushing-out-of-my-mind-watermellon. Just by some stupid handshake.
and everytime i think about him, even though he is traveling around the country, and lives two hours from me.
i feel that my heart is breaking little by little. And i don't understand because i'm not even dating the guy for crying out loud.
and i still have some feelings from my past relationship. Which we will thus name him Peter Parker.
and they guy that i am falling for now will be Bruce Wayne.
(yes. superheros are the shizzle.)
Peter Parker was i guess you could say is my childhood crush. We did everything together. It was the cliche 'best-friend-gets-married' kinda thing. and it would have happened. BUT. yes there is always that word. it gets on my nerve sometimes. The 'family' just ruined my life. and that was the end. But then i figured more about our little "fling" and he fell for someone else. and thus my heart was broken.
but.
(the happy side :)
Bruce Wayne (who in my earlier posts i named him Edward) --- and no that is not his name (it's a metaphor) came into my life and changed everything. You just know that 'he' could be the one. The one that i would make a total commitment and dedicate my life to him. But the more and more i think about it. It hurts because i don't think it could ever happen. I mean come on he is 19 and i am 17. (not that there is a problem with it, but with the law yeah.) -- i guess.
sigh.
i wish that i could wear that little helmet in Phil of the Future and see my future. that would be AUHMAZZINGGG~~~
i am exsausted..
i guess i'll be back later.
peace.