Speed

[randomcarbon]

The following passage, from Line/ライン annoyed me when I first read it. The absurdity of the arrogance did not sit well with me while I was transported along to Nagoya on the shinkansen. Chiharu has no intention to stop using speed. Were it not for stimulants, there would be no point in his living. He takes speed for some three days straight and then rests for another three or four. He realized early on that speed brought for him happiness and a sense of completeness. Since then he only let himself use what he needed, being sure not to increase the actual amount taken. There are lots of people who cannot handle it, but Chiharu thought he was quite fit. Most people fall into a depression and hallucinate. One must have the right attitude. Speed is not an omnipotent deity. Fundamentally, it’s just like alinamin or asprin. When expectations are too high the wearing off of the drug’s effects is severe. One has to remember that with all stimulants there will be a coming down and a pang of discontentment. If you have good timing, you and take sleep medication so you’ll pass out while you’re coming down. Chiharu never spends more than ¥10,000 (USD100) a month on speed. Spending more than ¥20,000 (200) a month will destroy both your bank and your body. Speed destroys people in despair with family life, school, or the world. Stimulants destroy those who are depressed. Those people would inevitably crash, if not with stimulants than with something else.

チハルはスピードを止めるつもりはない。覚醒剤がなければ生きる価値がない。スピードは大体三日間ぶっ続けでやり、そのあと三、四日は抜く。自分にとってスピードは喜びと充実感のすべてだと、最初摂ったとき既にわっかたので、やったぶんだけ抜いて、摂る量が増えるのを防ぐことにしている。体質的会わない人も多いがチハルはスピードが自分のからだにフィットしていると思う。効きが醒めるときに、いやな感じがする人も多い。たいていの人が憂鬱に落ち込むし、ひどい場合は幻覚を見る。大事な心構えだとチハルは思っている。スピードは全能の神ではなく薬だ基本的にはアリナミンやルルやアスピリンと同じで、薬だ。期待しすぎるから効きが切れるときのダウンがきつくなる。興奮剤の効き目が切れるわけだから少し体に不意感がある、と最初から思っていれば楽だし、睡眠薬を上手に使えば効きが切れるのと同時に眠れる。スピードは月に十万までしか買わない。月に二十万以上覚醒剤に入れもむと、経済も体も同時に破滅する。家庭とか学校とか世の中に絶望したり、ものすごい不満がある人が覚醒剤で破滅する。そういう人に覚醒剤ではなくても他の何かで必ず破滅するのだ。