my legs are sleepy and I am done for ...ever. goodnight.
I...can't take much more. I've been too stressed this past week...or two.
Happy last day of the first month of the new year!
Dance...dancedancedance. I SUCK. I really do. I cant' stand jazz. I'm NOT a jazz dancer. Especially when my legs are jelloid and I can't breathe. We had to show the other class our dance. they showed us their's first. I can't dance and I hate dancing for just a few people, especially them...it's not that I don't like them...I just dont' want to dance for them. or anyone. I'm just not MEANT to be a jazz dancer. I can't ...I just can't do it. Not like that. I can't I can't I JUST CAN'T. Ballet is fine...I can be graceful, tap is great, I can be bouncy and happy, lyrical is alright, it's a really fun dance...but jazz? No. I was breaking down. While doing the dance for them I could not breathe. It felt like my insides shrank to twenty sizes too small. I just can't do it. I'm not like them...not the one's in my class even...I just can't do it.
This week isn't going to do anything to lighten my stress.
LBSYO practice tomorrow, ALL COUNTY from 6-9 on thursday, all day all county friday, concert's at 7, saturday is the all state audition, and sunday...I have off of work. Because sherri and I have to write a newspaper about the Anglo-Saxon ...time...o-O' we're presenting monday, since we will both be gone friday...sooooooo that rocks. Last night instead of sleeping early I read the 3rd and 4th samurai girls, I'm reading the fifth one now...holey shisse. It's...amazing.
I'm going to make more copies of Trio. Just not tonight. Tonight I will shower and read and sleep.
sorry. I suck...I'm sorry.
PS. a thought occured to me today...just...a whim. It's funny how much things can change. How one day you always can talk to one person about anything, and they will understand, and you will understand when they need to talk, but the next day...they just don't want to talk. Or the next day...nor the next. And some people you live until the next time you can see them or talk to them...and then...they just...disappear...some people mean so much to you one day...but the next day they mean next to nothing, or at least seem that way. Some is for the better, I must admit...but not all...not all is good. I miss it. I want it back. Why do people not want to talk?
Happy last day of the first month of the new year!
Dance...dancedancedance. I SUCK. I really do. I cant' stand jazz. I'm NOT a jazz dancer. Especially when my legs are jelloid and I can't breathe. We had to show the other class our dance. they showed us their's first. I can't dance and I hate dancing for just a few people, especially them...it's not that I don't like them...I just dont' want to dance for them. or anyone. I'm just not MEANT to be a jazz dancer. I can't ...I just can't do it. Not like that. I can't I can't I JUST CAN'T. Ballet is fine...I can be graceful, tap is great, I can be bouncy and happy, lyrical is alright, it's a really fun dance...but jazz? No. I was breaking down. While doing the dance for them I could not breathe. It felt like my insides shrank to twenty sizes too small. I just can't do it. I'm not like them...not the one's in my class even...I just can't do it.
This week isn't going to do anything to lighten my stress.
LBSYO practice tomorrow, ALL COUNTY from 6-9 on thursday, all day all county friday, concert's at 7, saturday is the all state audition, and sunday...I have off of work. Because sherri and I have to write a newspaper about the Anglo-Saxon ...time...o-O' we're presenting monday, since we will both be gone friday...sooooooo that rocks. Last night instead of sleeping early I read the 3rd and 4th samurai girls, I'm reading the fifth one now...holey shisse. It's...amazing.
I'm going to make more copies of Trio. Just not tonight. Tonight I will shower and read and sleep.
sorry. I suck...I'm sorry.
PS. a thought occured to me today...just...a whim. It's funny how much things can change. How one day you always can talk to one person about anything, and they will understand, and you will understand when they need to talk, but the next day...they just don't want to talk. Or the next day...nor the next. And some people you live until the next time you can see them or talk to them...and then...they just...disappear...some people mean so much to you one day...but the next day they mean next to nothing, or at least seem that way. Some is for the better, I must admit...but not all...not all is good. I miss it. I want it back. Why do people not want to talk?