(no subject)
Well senior year. Here it is. This much closer to college, but that much further. I just finished the bullshit known as the college app process. The only thing that I have left with my senior research paper is to revise my first draft. So the bulk of senior year is past me, however things still feel like any other semester of high school. I don't have a school I am enamored with, not much of a drive for anything, however I dont want to turn this into some pity party. I'm finding myself with a lot of free time lately, which has been used to a varying degree of efficiency. I need music playing at all times to direct my mood. I suppose this is a crutch, however it makes everything seem much more poetic. Lame, I know, but it helps. I am not sure what I am looking for from now until I ship myself off to wherever the hell I put myself in the months to come. I think the main thing I am looking for is genuine people and genuine moments. I involve myself with alright people, but I want someone truly inspiring. I have found one, but its not been fully explored yet. Hopefully we'll become closer in the months to come. I'm never sure how much to divulge in these, which out sounding like an idiot. Lately I have been told that I am too dependent on other people and their opinions of me, this I wont try to deny. Trying to change myself of this seems to be rather ironic, changing my dependence on others due to someones opinion of me. I take it for what it is. However I find it sickening when people must be the most individual person they know. So unique that they can't handle when someone admires them, they have to become offended. I mean what is wrong with enjoying the same things or sharing the same aspirations. This seems to be too much of an encroach on their individualism. I suppose this is the bullshit that high school entails.