lol...
By Lore Sjöberg| Wired News
02:00 AM Jun, 14, 2006
Do you have what it takes to create a LiveJournal? Well, ask yourself this question: Are you able to put words together? Not in complete, grammatical sentences, mind you. Are you able to take a word and another word and place them one after each other? Then you're set!
Still, if you want your LiveJournal to contain more than two words, you may want a little push in the right direction. Here are some simple LiveJournal guidelines.
Do take quizzes. The best quizzes are the ones that tell you what you are. You fill out a bunch of questions and find out that you're Adm. Adama or Princess Daisy or a crowbar. This is important because not only do they fill space -- your main goal as a LiveJournalist -- but how can anyone know the real you unless they understand that of all the Pokémon, you're Charizard?
Do create your own personalized icon. It's easy to do; just take a screenshot from your favorite movie or TV show and combine it with a quote. The quote doesn't even have to be from the same movie or show. Don't worry about copyright. If you use copyright material in your LiveJournal icon, it's open fair common something. Public something.
Don't let other people rip off your icon. You can tell someone has ripped you off because they're using the same image, quote, font or they put the words at the bottom just like you did. This is theft because your icon is trademark copyright all rights reserved you!
Don't go friends-only. If you wanted to say something that only your friends could read, you could e-mail them. No, LiveJournal is your big chance to be noticed; for everyone to see how special you are. You might become an internet celebrity like that one guy that nobody knows about except people on LiveJournal!
Do join communities. LiveJournal has approximately infinity plus one communities, including one for fans of each individual season of The Simpsons. The point of this is not to actually interact with people who share your interests, but so that people who look at your page can understand you without old-fashioned mucking about with conversation and personality.
Don't reject friends. Seriously, unless someone has killed someone you know, or said mean things about you personally, it's best to keep them on your friends list at all times. If you started discriminating, you might be known as the person with only 34 LiveJournal friends, and everyone will know the truth about you.
Do speak in code. Once you have your public journal with loads of friends you don't actually know, you may feel strange about revealing all your inner secrets. The best solution? Hide your daily activities behind vague allusions and song lyrics. Bad: "Me and Henry did Whip-Its in the tool shed until I had to feed the dog." Better: "Boy, I had some fun over the weekend. Let's just say Mom can't make strawberry shortcake for a while." Best: "You don't know how it feels/You don't know how it feels/No, you don't know how it feels to be me."
Do talk trash. Every day on LiveJournal, people are saying incorrect things. Calling them out on this irresponsible opinionating by linking to them is morally correct, ethically responsible and, best of all, might get them to link back to you. Then you can get more of the sweet attention that Mom and Dad are too busy to give you.
Don't limit yourself to LiveJournal. After all, everyone uses LiveJournal, and the only way you can possibly demonstrate that you're above the common herd is to have a journal on a less-crowded domain, like DeadJournal, GreatestJournal, or TooCoolForLiveJournalJournal. It's best to keep your LiveJournal page after you've done this, because if you leave LiveJournal completely the people on LiveJournal won't know that you've left it for someplace better.
Do complain about people on LiveJournal. It's the best way to let people know you're not one of them.
- - -
Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to devote his life to helping the helpless, cheering the cheerless and minding the mindless.
02:00 AM Jun, 14, 2006
Do you have what it takes to create a LiveJournal? Well, ask yourself this question: Are you able to put words together? Not in complete, grammatical sentences, mind you. Are you able to take a word and another word and place them one after each other? Then you're set!
Still, if you want your LiveJournal to contain more than two words, you may want a little push in the right direction. Here are some simple LiveJournal guidelines.
Do take quizzes. The best quizzes are the ones that tell you what you are. You fill out a bunch of questions and find out that you're Adm. Adama or Princess Daisy or a crowbar. This is important because not only do they fill space -- your main goal as a LiveJournalist -- but how can anyone know the real you unless they understand that of all the Pokémon, you're Charizard?
Do create your own personalized icon. It's easy to do; just take a screenshot from your favorite movie or TV show and combine it with a quote. The quote doesn't even have to be from the same movie or show. Don't worry about copyright. If you use copyright material in your LiveJournal icon, it's open fair common something. Public something.
Don't let other people rip off your icon. You can tell someone has ripped you off because they're using the same image, quote, font or they put the words at the bottom just like you did. This is theft because your icon is trademark copyright all rights reserved you!
Don't go friends-only. If you wanted to say something that only your friends could read, you could e-mail them. No, LiveJournal is your big chance to be noticed; for everyone to see how special you are. You might become an internet celebrity like that one guy that nobody knows about except people on LiveJournal!
Do join communities. LiveJournal has approximately infinity plus one communities, including one for fans of each individual season of The Simpsons. The point of this is not to actually interact with people who share your interests, but so that people who look at your page can understand you without old-fashioned mucking about with conversation and personality.
Don't reject friends. Seriously, unless someone has killed someone you know, or said mean things about you personally, it's best to keep them on your friends list at all times. If you started discriminating, you might be known as the person with only 34 LiveJournal friends, and everyone will know the truth about you.
Do speak in code. Once you have your public journal with loads of friends you don't actually know, you may feel strange about revealing all your inner secrets. The best solution? Hide your daily activities behind vague allusions and song lyrics. Bad: "Me and Henry did Whip-Its in the tool shed until I had to feed the dog." Better: "Boy, I had some fun over the weekend. Let's just say Mom can't make strawberry shortcake for a while." Best: "You don't know how it feels/You don't know how it feels/No, you don't know how it feels to be me."
Do talk trash. Every day on LiveJournal, people are saying incorrect things. Calling them out on this irresponsible opinionating by linking to them is morally correct, ethically responsible and, best of all, might get them to link back to you. Then you can get more of the sweet attention that Mom and Dad are too busy to give you.
Don't limit yourself to LiveJournal. After all, everyone uses LiveJournal, and the only way you can possibly demonstrate that you're above the common herd is to have a journal on a less-crowded domain, like DeadJournal, GreatestJournal, or TooCoolForLiveJournalJournal. It's best to keep your LiveJournal page after you've done this, because if you leave LiveJournal completely the people on LiveJournal won't know that you've left it for someplace better.
Do complain about people on LiveJournal. It's the best way to let people know you're not one of them.
- - -
Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to devote his life to helping the helpless, cheering the cheerless and minding the mindless.