our waiter at beach house was sexy
HEY YA'LL!!! WOW, IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I'VE BEEN ON THIS THING. LETS SEE, WHAT NONIMPORTANT THINGS HAVE OCCURED IN MY LIFE. JK, LOTS OF PARTICULLARLY IMPORTANT THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. HMMMM.....I'M 17 AND CAN OFFICIALLY STAY OUT ALL NIGHT LONG, NOT THAT I DO ANYWAYS. I MADE A BUNCH OF NEW, BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, FANTASTICO FRIENDS (BOTH INSIDE AND OUT OF THEATER) I LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I FIGHT WAY TO MUCH. I'VE BEEN REJECTED AND TEMPTED IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS. I PASSED MY MATH CLASS. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, USED BUT MY FAVORITE COLOR!, I GOT MY PERMIT. I LOST WEIGHT, LOL! I GOT A JOB, PRACTICALLY SPOON FED TO ME, AND MY DAD DIDN'T LET ME ACCEPT IT. I STARTED GYMNASTICS AGAIN. I JUST MESSED UP MY KNEE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. AND I GUESS THAT'S MY BORING LIFE FOR YA....AGAIN, I'VE MADE AND MEET SUCH WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW MY BESTEST FRIENDS, BUT I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN MY OLDIES EITHER, HEHE, I LOVE YOU GUYS.
ok, lets see. as i've been writting this, one of my close friends just asked me, "what would you do if i told you i liked you?" WHY does it always have to be that way??? the majority of my friends are guys, so it's often that i hear "i like you". not that they really mean it, but then why do they say it? do they think that just cuz we're best budds, it'd be easier for me to say "i like you to"? it kinda makes me sad, but mad at the same time, i mean, now i know when i'm playing around with them, part of them is taking me serious, which leads to, "hey guys, i think she likes me" and then that leads to, "hey i heard you like so-and-so..." and then i always have to explain myself to everyone, but i do it cuz they ARE my buddies, they're my best friends, and i love them. oh well, for the 400th time, i'll just drop it.
so what else is new, oh yes, absolutely nothing. i was dumped and rejected....hahaha, i'm so lame. but it was my fault, well not ALL my fault, but i do take responsibility in the starting of it all. well, i shan't go into detail explaining somthing that means a pitiful "ehh" to the other party. i am doing much better though, you know, with the whole, "my world is over" deal...i'm proud of myself. i miss him terribly though, i won't lie. and occasionally, i'll let myself cry. but not mainly cuz he's gone, but because of the love we have for eachother and the fact that our good times have ended, and becuase of all the memories we shared. i hate time! i wish i could freeze evey moment we shared and have just stayed there by his side for always. i've never been so in love with anyone ever in my life. "in my life, i love you more"...
i'm so pathetic, i'm actually waiting for him to text back. that's what makes me most sad. i'm so dissapointed in myself for letting me get this way. it's been half an hour since i last texted him. i'm sure that's the last thing that's on his mind....no, see, i'm wrong. i'm certain even that isn't on his mind.
why do i care? why why why?
i'm hurting myself even more than i think he's hurting me...what is my problem, seriously?
....i'm so bad at this....