my favorite mistake
"i see a red door and i wanted painted black. no colors anymore i want them to turn black."
so things are going fine...i can't remember if i mentioned my breakdown, though, i'm sure i did. i suppose it helped. but anyways...i just got back from a practice at the "wildcats" gym. oh, man. a 5 hour long practice. NO FOOD!!! well, i'm good now. patrick and i were supposed to go to the mall to go get the rest of our stuff for homecoming, but the way things are looking with my parents, i'm not sure i even want to go...but whatever. i know my babe's uppset and he wants to go. but how can i do it if my parents won't give me any $$$money$$$. and i've been wanting a job, but it's them who don't want me to get one! it doesn't make sence!!!
i made the mistake of suicide talk again... why does it scare people so much?
i don't need approval or anything... ha ha ha...it's my favorite mistake...the one i always make....the pain they can't take...that's why this talk they hate...i say this with a smile on my face...yet i smile for any case...it doesn't make any sence...yet it's so perfectly clear to me...the things they wish i were...are the things i'll never be....
"i look inside myself and see my heart is black..."
this concludes todays entry...i suppose....