Fic: Repercussions (6/10)
Title: Repercussions (6/10)
Author: random_nic
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don't own ATWT.
Word Count: 1279
Characters: Luke, Noah, Casey, Ali, Holden, Lily, Reid, Bob, Kim, Chris, Katie, Tom, Margo
Summary: Noah and Luke head home; Casey and Reid head for trouble.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Luke and Noah's drive to the farm felt markedly different from their earlier journey to the hospital. Then, they'd been wrapped within the heady buzz of their impassioned reunion. Now, on the heels of the painful and embarrassing scene at the hospital, both men rode in utter silence. This time, they sat with space between them, as both grappled with their own thoughts.
Finally, Luke could take the unsettling quiet no longer.
"Why'd you do it?"
Luke didn't need to be more specific. Noah knew what was being asked. He drew in and released a deep breath, as if attempting to disrupt the awkward thickness of the air between them.
"It's complicated," Noah began. "It just felt wrong, I guess. For him to go down like that... because of us." Noah emitted another sigh, struggling to verbalize his feelings.
"You did it for him?" Admittedly, it wasn't what Luke had expected to hear.
Noah gave a tiny snort, but there was little humor in it. "You thought I was gonna say for you." Luke's answering half-smirk confirmed Noah's statement. "It was, partly," Noah agreed. "I knew you'd blame yourself if he got fired. And it was for him, too, in a way."
Luke waited, sensing Noah had more to say. In fact, several minutes passed, but Luke didn't press. He knew Noah better than that - enough to understand Noah would share what he was feeling only when he was ready.
"I did it for myself." Noah turned his head from the road briefly, just quickly enough to search Luke's face for any sign of condemnation at the admission. When he found none, he turned back to the road as he continued. "I don't know how to say this and have it make any sense. I don't regret being with you - you have to know that."
"I do," Luke assured, adding nothing else. Luke had learned that keeping his own responses supportive - and brief - seemed to help Noah feel less scared when he needed to say something especially difficult. This was clearly one of those times.
"But, we did it the wrong way," Noah finally continued. "When I got my sight back, and found the two of you kissing... I'll never forget what that felt like."
"Bubby, I'm so sorry-"
"No. You don't have to be sorry; it was what it was. We were broken up. But knowing that didn't make it any easier. I didn't feel any less sick to my stomach."
Noah swallowed hard. Naturally, Luke had been jarred by what went down at the hospital, but hadn't fully realized how affected Noah was until now. It seemed everything had dredged up painful memories in a way that neither of them had expected.
"For the longest time, I hated him. I blamed him. Sometimes when I couldn't stop replaying that damn kiss in my mind... I'd dream up different scenarios. Of you and me kissing...," Noah trailed off, fighting a visible war within to get the words out. "In my mind, I'd pretend he caught us. I was so damn angry, and sometimes I wanted to stick it to him so bad. I wanted him to feel what I felt..."
This time, Luke's silence was simply caused by the fact he had no idea what to say. Noah had just admitted to fantasizing about something that had actually come to pass, and with near-disastrous consequences. At a loss for words, Luke did the only thing he could think to, and placed his hand on Noah's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze of support.
"Luke, it was just a stupid fantasy! I never thought something like this would really happen! I never meant for him to see that..."
Luke got it, now. Noah was too principled - too good - to be okay with what had happened. It didn't matter that he couldn't stand Reid; Noah just wasn't the kind of person who purposely hurt others. It was one of ten thousand reasons Luke loved him so much.
"It didn't even feel like cheating," Luke finally said, more in wonder than justification. "It was you and me; how could that be wrong? I missed you so much, Noah. Freezing in that stupid car, I thought I was never gonna see you again." Luke held back the emotion that threatened. The strain of the day was fully asserting itself, taking its toll on them both.
"I know. I needed to be with you, too. I needed it so much I ignored everything else." Noah removed a hand from the steering wheel, placing it over Luke's, which still rested on his knee. "The thing is, as sorry as I am that you were still his boyfriend when we made love... I couldn't do it any different. So I lied to Bob because, that's as close as I could come to making it right." Noah squeezed Luke's hand now, emphasizing the resolve behind his words. "Because even if I could go back, I couldn't choose not to be with you. I did that once, Luke. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I could never do it again."
Luke gave up holding it in, letting a few tears spill over as he unfastened his seat belt. He scooted across to take the middle seat, re-belting himself there. Noah's arm snaked around Luke, pulling him close as Luke sniffed into his jacket. There were no further words between them for the remainder of the drive, but now it was because the important ones had been said.
**********************************************************************************************************************************
He sat at the bar, his new boss and impromptu drinking buddy on the next stool. Casey had deflected when the doctor had asked what was wrong. The fact that Reid Oliver had even bothered told Casey he must look every bit as pathetic as he felt.
He knew Reid wasn't much better off on the heels of his break-up. When the neurosurgeon abruptly announced he was hitting Metro to "celebrate" his newly-single status, he surprised Casey by inviting him along. Casey then surprised himself by accepting.
Hanging out with Reid Oliver wasn't something he planned to make a habit of. At the same time, he had nothing better to do on this night. Going home to sit under parents' worrisome scrutiny didn't appeal. And really, who better to get tanked with than someone else who'd just been screwed over?
"We coulda got beer at Yo's a lot cheaper," Casey mumbled, before taking another swig of the bottled import in his hands.
"I've already enjoyed the Yo's experience," Reid muttered back. "And the next time I want to get drunk on beer that tastes like piss, I'll be sure to return."
"Whatever." Casey didn't really care that he was spending more on alcohol than usual. After all, he no longer needed to save for a special gift, since that recipient had been well and truly crossed off his Christmas list.
"Oh, joy," Reid commented, noting the new arrival entering Metro. "Your Uncle Douchebag just walked in. Wanna take another swing at him? I'll enjoy the show."
Casey's head snapped to look at Chris. He cursed his shitty luck. Of all the places for the asshole to show up. Couldn't Chris have picked somewhere else?
Noticing his nephew at the bar, Chris gave a self-satisfied sneer. Reid still didn't understand what had happened to cause such acrimony in Oakdale's version of the Ingalls family. That is, until the petite blonde walked in, and clearly for show, Chris planted an overtly emphatic kiss on the woman's lips.
Alison Stewart.
"Holy shit," Reid exclaimed, as he turned to regard a fuming Casey. Now it all made sense.
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Next chapter
Author: random_nic
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don't own ATWT.
Word Count: 1279
Characters: Luke, Noah, Casey, Ali, Holden, Lily, Reid, Bob, Kim, Chris, Katie, Tom, Margo
Summary: Noah and Luke head home; Casey and Reid head for trouble.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Luke and Noah's drive to the farm felt markedly different from their earlier journey to the hospital. Then, they'd been wrapped within the heady buzz of their impassioned reunion. Now, on the heels of the painful and embarrassing scene at the hospital, both men rode in utter silence. This time, they sat with space between them, as both grappled with their own thoughts.
Finally, Luke could take the unsettling quiet no longer.
"Why'd you do it?"
Luke didn't need to be more specific. Noah knew what was being asked. He drew in and released a deep breath, as if attempting to disrupt the awkward thickness of the air between them.
"It's complicated," Noah began. "It just felt wrong, I guess. For him to go down like that... because of us." Noah emitted another sigh, struggling to verbalize his feelings.
"You did it for him?" Admittedly, it wasn't what Luke had expected to hear.
Noah gave a tiny snort, but there was little humor in it. "You thought I was gonna say for you." Luke's answering half-smirk confirmed Noah's statement. "It was, partly," Noah agreed. "I knew you'd blame yourself if he got fired. And it was for him, too, in a way."
Luke waited, sensing Noah had more to say. In fact, several minutes passed, but Luke didn't press. He knew Noah better than that - enough to understand Noah would share what he was feeling only when he was ready.
"I did it for myself." Noah turned his head from the road briefly, just quickly enough to search Luke's face for any sign of condemnation at the admission. When he found none, he turned back to the road as he continued. "I don't know how to say this and have it make any sense. I don't regret being with you - you have to know that."
"I do," Luke assured, adding nothing else. Luke had learned that keeping his own responses supportive - and brief - seemed to help Noah feel less scared when he needed to say something especially difficult. This was clearly one of those times.
"But, we did it the wrong way," Noah finally continued. "When I got my sight back, and found the two of you kissing... I'll never forget what that felt like."
"Bubby, I'm so sorry-"
"No. You don't have to be sorry; it was what it was. We were broken up. But knowing that didn't make it any easier. I didn't feel any less sick to my stomach."
Noah swallowed hard. Naturally, Luke had been jarred by what went down at the hospital, but hadn't fully realized how affected Noah was until now. It seemed everything had dredged up painful memories in a way that neither of them had expected.
"For the longest time, I hated him. I blamed him. Sometimes when I couldn't stop replaying that damn kiss in my mind... I'd dream up different scenarios. Of you and me kissing...," Noah trailed off, fighting a visible war within to get the words out. "In my mind, I'd pretend he caught us. I was so damn angry, and sometimes I wanted to stick it to him so bad. I wanted him to feel what I felt..."
This time, Luke's silence was simply caused by the fact he had no idea what to say. Noah had just admitted to fantasizing about something that had actually come to pass, and with near-disastrous consequences. At a loss for words, Luke did the only thing he could think to, and placed his hand on Noah's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze of support.
"Luke, it was just a stupid fantasy! I never thought something like this would really happen! I never meant for him to see that..."
Luke got it, now. Noah was too principled - too good - to be okay with what had happened. It didn't matter that he couldn't stand Reid; Noah just wasn't the kind of person who purposely hurt others. It was one of ten thousand reasons Luke loved him so much.
"It didn't even feel like cheating," Luke finally said, more in wonder than justification. "It was you and me; how could that be wrong? I missed you so much, Noah. Freezing in that stupid car, I thought I was never gonna see you again." Luke held back the emotion that threatened. The strain of the day was fully asserting itself, taking its toll on them both.
"I know. I needed to be with you, too. I needed it so much I ignored everything else." Noah removed a hand from the steering wheel, placing it over Luke's, which still rested on his knee. "The thing is, as sorry as I am that you were still his boyfriend when we made love... I couldn't do it any different. So I lied to Bob because, that's as close as I could come to making it right." Noah squeezed Luke's hand now, emphasizing the resolve behind his words. "Because even if I could go back, I couldn't choose not to be with you. I did that once, Luke. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I could never do it again."
Luke gave up holding it in, letting a few tears spill over as he unfastened his seat belt. He scooted across to take the middle seat, re-belting himself there. Noah's arm snaked around Luke, pulling him close as Luke sniffed into his jacket. There were no further words between them for the remainder of the drive, but now it was because the important ones had been said.
**********************************************************************************************************************************
He sat at the bar, his new boss and impromptu drinking buddy on the next stool. Casey had deflected when the doctor had asked what was wrong. The fact that Reid Oliver had even bothered told Casey he must look every bit as pathetic as he felt.
He knew Reid wasn't much better off on the heels of his break-up. When the neurosurgeon abruptly announced he was hitting Metro to "celebrate" his newly-single status, he surprised Casey by inviting him along. Casey then surprised himself by accepting.
Hanging out with Reid Oliver wasn't something he planned to make a habit of. At the same time, he had nothing better to do on this night. Going home to sit under parents' worrisome scrutiny didn't appeal. And really, who better to get tanked with than someone else who'd just been screwed over?
"We coulda got beer at Yo's a lot cheaper," Casey mumbled, before taking another swig of the bottled import in his hands.
"I've already enjoyed the Yo's experience," Reid muttered back. "And the next time I want to get drunk on beer that tastes like piss, I'll be sure to return."
"Whatever." Casey didn't really care that he was spending more on alcohol than usual. After all, he no longer needed to save for a special gift, since that recipient had been well and truly crossed off his Christmas list.
"Oh, joy," Reid commented, noting the new arrival entering Metro. "Your Uncle Douchebag just walked in. Wanna take another swing at him? I'll enjoy the show."
Casey's head snapped to look at Chris. He cursed his shitty luck. Of all the places for the asshole to show up. Couldn't Chris have picked somewhere else?
Noticing his nephew at the bar, Chris gave a self-satisfied sneer. Reid still didn't understand what had happened to cause such acrimony in Oakdale's version of the Ingalls family. That is, until the petite blonde walked in, and clearly for show, Chris planted an overtly emphatic kiss on the woman's lips.
Alison Stewart.
"Holy shit," Reid exclaimed, as he turned to regard a fuming Casey. Now it all made sense.
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Next chapter