Formalities + how many people does it take to change a light bulb?
Formalities
]I know it seems sad but there are sometimes when i just cant help thinking about this formal past...
Look 3 weeks before the actual event, had u mentioned the word "formal","table numbers" or "dress" i would have pulled at my hair screamed profusely and stabbed your eyes with Nikki's stapler which she otherwise might have been aiming at the back of Cheryls's head during an English class
But you know what... it really wasnt that bad at all... infact i think itll be safe to say that the formal has been perhaps one of the BEST highlights thus far for 2007.
I mean seriously how many times can one dress up in a ridiculously expensive dress, get ones make-up and hair done, dine on fine (i use the term loosely) cuisene, smile and pose for a MILLION photos and yet it is still acceptable to play air guitar, dance with spirit fingers AND sing with passion to Shannon's "hit" WHAT ABOUT ME!! i mean, no matter how much we loath the song... its serves its purpose when all you want to do is point your finger at your best friend accusingly as if they have murdered your grandmother... morbid? i thought so...
No look the formal WAS BLOODY AMAZING and its all thanks to the brilliant people whom i surround myself with.. yes thats you suckers and more!
Everyone looked SO beautiful, that for once i did not say "omg you look amazing" and not mean it... come on i know at least one of you said it to someone in the past when all you really wanted to do was pass over one of Jackies "stickers" which indicates a fashion crime, (at least Jackie will know what im talking about there)
I just want to rewind and freeze frame every second of that night... im sorry if you were not a fan of the formal... but i was... SO SHUT THE HELL UP!!
As for the after party... lets not go there...Cos i didn't... i think most people know what i feel about after parties... and for those who dont, shame on you...
WE NEED MORE WHOLE YEAR LEVEL PARTIES!!!
............................................................................
How many people does it take to change a light buld at...
Strathcona BGGS: two. one to change it and the other to attempt to get
$100 off every parent to cover the cost
Scotch College: Three - one to call the electrician, one to call daddy
to pay the bill, and the other to fantisise about the electrician in
erotic positions
Wesley: Two: one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician
Camberwell Girls: Two - one to change the lightbulb and one to make sure
she looked good while doing it
Kildara: Eleven - one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
experience
Mater Christie: None - Upwey doesn't have electricity
Melbourne Grammar: Two - One to change the lightbulb and one to crack
under the pressure
Melbourne High: Only one, but he gets six credits for it
Loreto Mandeville Hall: Seven- one to call over some xavier guys to fix
it, and six to keep them entertained.
Haileybury College: Just one. The school captain comes back after
finishing year 12 so he can do it all by himself.
Uni High: Seventy-six - one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest
the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter
protest
Mount Scopus: None - Burwood Haven looks better in the dark
M.L.C: Two- One to change it, the other to rub her legs with fake tan
Genazzano f.c.j: None - dogs can see perfectly in the dark
Carey: Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that
nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer
program that controls the wall switch
MacRob: Eleven - one to screw it and ten to support its sexual
orientation
St Kevins: None - they have their heads shoved too far up their arses to
notice
Northland High: they're aren't any lightbulbs..they've all been shot
down
Ruyton: Five - One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect
J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion
Camberwell grammar: Three - one to change it and two to figure out how
to get high off the old one
St. Leonards: Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too
drunk and the other eight to pray that it works
Melbourne Uni: Four - one to change it, one to call Parliament about
their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the Monash students
Kew High: none: they're all too busy chopping weed
Camberwell High: Two--one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly
how they did it just as well as a private school student
Star of the Sea: sixteen -two to screw in the lightbulb together, seven for
moral support, one to take a picture and the last to declare that the job
could only been done by a strong star woman. and the other five to spread the word that they did it themelves behind the other 11s back
College of the Arts: Five--one to change the bulb and four to do an
interpretive dance about it
P.L.C: Eight - it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just
that they're all violently twitching from too much stress
Xavier: Four - one holds the bulb and the world revolves around him,
and the other three are too drugged up to notice
La Trobe Uni: Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a
party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time
C.L.C: One--but you would never know about it because only M.L.C and
P.L.C get press for changing their lightbulbs
Sion College: Change them.. Is that what they're meant to be used for?
Mount Waverley: 10, 1 to change the light bulb, 2 to get smashed and
drunk because of it and 7 more to "support" the person who is changin
the bulb by cheerin her/him on and giving it weed and shit..
Ivanhoe Grammar: none: they're all to busy convincing everyone they're
co-ed.
Sacre Couer: 3, one to use their mobile to ring an electrician and the
other to get there cheque book and pay for it. the other one sits around
and smokes some weed and shit while snoggin some de la guy...
SIENA COLLEGE: Two: one to change the lightbulb and the other one to
take off her panties with her teeth.
Melbourne Girls' College: 82: 1 to take the old lightbulb out and 81 to
figure out how to make it work again because they can't afford a new one
Tintern Girls: 6: 1 to change the light and 5 to bitch about how badly she did it.
Doncaster Secondary: 3: 1 to change the light, one to jump around
because it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened there (after
mr. Choc) and 1 to chop the weed for after.
Canterbury Girls: 10: 1 to change it, 4 to hold a memorial service for
being such a strong female lightbulb, that did women-kind proud, and 5
to boast about how they didn't need a man to change their light.
Emmaus College: 10: 1 to call the electrician, 4 to make a myspace about him and 5 to chop the weed
Whitefriars College: NONE: their all too busy tearing up parties, getting with girls and just generally being the coolest guys around so the light bulbs know if they want to be changed they’ll have to do it themselves.
Marcellin: 1: one uses his mobile to call someone else to fix it, the
rest of the boys are at shop, smoking and smashin shit
Salesian: one to bend over, and the other one to stick it in the hole
and turn it on
Highvale Secondary: None: There to pov to afford an electrician or a new
lightbulb and they are all to drugged to work out that it is broken.
Avila College: 6: one to fix it while another fixes her skirt,2 to congratulate her and give her a hug when the job is done and one each to make a short speech about it at assembly and write an article for the school magazine.
Sacred Heart: None to choose from, all to busy chasing after the salesian
fags
De La Salle College: 3: because u don't have to be a genius to screw in a light bulb and the other two would be giving each other head in the toilets
.............................................................................
OVER AND OUT!
]I know it seems sad but there are sometimes when i just cant help thinking about this formal past...
Look 3 weeks before the actual event, had u mentioned the word "formal","table numbers" or "dress" i would have pulled at my hair screamed profusely and stabbed your eyes with Nikki's stapler which she otherwise might have been aiming at the back of Cheryls's head during an English class
But you know what... it really wasnt that bad at all... infact i think itll be safe to say that the formal has been perhaps one of the BEST highlights thus far for 2007.
I mean seriously how many times can one dress up in a ridiculously expensive dress, get ones make-up and hair done, dine on fine (i use the term loosely) cuisene, smile and pose for a MILLION photos and yet it is still acceptable to play air guitar, dance with spirit fingers AND sing with passion to Shannon's "hit" WHAT ABOUT ME!! i mean, no matter how much we loath the song... its serves its purpose when all you want to do is point your finger at your best friend accusingly as if they have murdered your grandmother... morbid? i thought so...
No look the formal WAS BLOODY AMAZING and its all thanks to the brilliant people whom i surround myself with.. yes thats you suckers and more!
Everyone looked SO beautiful, that for once i did not say "omg you look amazing" and not mean it... come on i know at least one of you said it to someone in the past when all you really wanted to do was pass over one of Jackies "stickers" which indicates a fashion crime, (at least Jackie will know what im talking about there)
I just want to rewind and freeze frame every second of that night... im sorry if you were not a fan of the formal... but i was... SO SHUT THE HELL UP!!
As for the after party... lets not go there...Cos i didn't... i think most people know what i feel about after parties... and for those who dont, shame on you...
WE NEED MORE WHOLE YEAR LEVEL PARTIES!!!
............................................................................
How many people does it take to change a light buld at...
Strathcona BGGS: two. one to change it and the other to attempt to get
$100 off every parent to cover the cost
Scotch College: Three - one to call the electrician, one to call daddy
to pay the bill, and the other to fantisise about the electrician in
erotic positions
Wesley: Two: one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician
Camberwell Girls: Two - one to change the lightbulb and one to make sure
she looked good while doing it
Kildara: Eleven - one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
experience
Mater Christie: None - Upwey doesn't have electricity
Melbourne Grammar: Two - One to change the lightbulb and one to crack
under the pressure
Melbourne High: Only one, but he gets six credits for it
Loreto Mandeville Hall: Seven- one to call over some xavier guys to fix
it, and six to keep them entertained.
Haileybury College: Just one. The school captain comes back after
finishing year 12 so he can do it all by himself.
Uni High: Seventy-six - one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest
the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter
protest
Mount Scopus: None - Burwood Haven looks better in the dark
M.L.C: Two- One to change it, the other to rub her legs with fake tan
Genazzano f.c.j: None - dogs can see perfectly in the dark
Carey: Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs
changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that
nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer
program that controls the wall switch
MacRob: Eleven - one to screw it and ten to support its sexual
orientation
St Kevins: None - they have their heads shoved too far up their arses to
notice
Northland High: they're aren't any lightbulbs..they've all been shot
down
Ruyton: Five - One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect
J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion
Camberwell grammar: Three - one to change it and two to figure out how
to get high off the old one
St. Leonards: Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too
drunk and the other eight to pray that it works
Melbourne Uni: Four - one to change it, one to call Parliament about
their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the Monash students
Kew High: none: they're all too busy chopping weed
Camberwell High: Two--one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly
how they did it just as well as a private school student
Star of the Sea: sixteen -two to screw in the lightbulb together, seven for
moral support, one to take a picture and the last to declare that the job
could only been done by a strong star woman. and the other five to spread the word that they did it themelves behind the other 11s back
College of the Arts: Five--one to change the bulb and four to do an
interpretive dance about it
P.L.C: Eight - it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just
that they're all violently twitching from too much stress
Xavier: Four - one holds the bulb and the world revolves around him,
and the other three are too drugged up to notice
La Trobe Uni: Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a
party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time
C.L.C: One--but you would never know about it because only M.L.C and
P.L.C get press for changing their lightbulbs
Sion College: Change them.. Is that what they're meant to be used for?
Mount Waverley: 10, 1 to change the light bulb, 2 to get smashed and
drunk because of it and 7 more to "support" the person who is changin
the bulb by cheerin her/him on and giving it weed and shit..
Ivanhoe Grammar: none: they're all to busy convincing everyone they're
co-ed.
Sacre Couer: 3, one to use their mobile to ring an electrician and the
other to get there cheque book and pay for it. the other one sits around
and smokes some weed and shit while snoggin some de la guy...
SIENA COLLEGE: Two: one to change the lightbulb and the other one to
take off her panties with her teeth.
Melbourne Girls' College: 82: 1 to take the old lightbulb out and 81 to
figure out how to make it work again because they can't afford a new one
Tintern Girls: 6: 1 to change the light and 5 to bitch about how badly she did it.
Doncaster Secondary: 3: 1 to change the light, one to jump around
because it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened there (after
mr. Choc) and 1 to chop the weed for after.
Canterbury Girls: 10: 1 to change it, 4 to hold a memorial service for
being such a strong female lightbulb, that did women-kind proud, and 5
to boast about how they didn't need a man to change their light.
Emmaus College: 10: 1 to call the electrician, 4 to make a myspace about him and 5 to chop the weed
Whitefriars College: NONE: their all too busy tearing up parties, getting with girls and just generally being the coolest guys around so the light bulbs know if they want to be changed they’ll have to do it themselves.
Marcellin: 1: one uses his mobile to call someone else to fix it, the
rest of the boys are at shop, smoking and smashin shit
Salesian: one to bend over, and the other one to stick it in the hole
and turn it on
Highvale Secondary: None: There to pov to afford an electrician or a new
lightbulb and they are all to drugged to work out that it is broken.
Avila College: 6: one to fix it while another fixes her skirt,2 to congratulate her and give her a hug when the job is done and one each to make a short speech about it at assembly and write an article for the school magazine.
Sacred Heart: None to choose from, all to busy chasing after the salesian
fags
De La Salle College: 3: because u don't have to be a genius to screw in a light bulb and the other two would be giving each other head in the toilets
.............................................................................
OVER AND OUT!