(no subject)
well im off to see tegid tomorrow.
i reeeeeally like him. but at the same time, if it doesnt work out, i wouldnt be heartbroken.. gutted sure... but not like i have been in the past for guys. i have stopped myself which im proud of. i have tried my hardest to control my feelings. well im kinda nervous though.. i kinda get spurts of nervousness and i know im gonna freak out tomorrow. no lie. and i told lucie and tess i will and they just answered, "i know" so casually and as if it was anyother ordinary thing lol. dear god! maybe its because they know me so well lol, maybe its coz they've seen me with other guys ive liked and how ive acted then. but does that mean im gonna mess this up? i always do. honestly. i am clumsy and always say the wrong thing. its mean. but then at the same time, this feels different. this guy is amazing. we talk for hours on end. we sometimes dont even need to speak when we talk, we just sit in silence, and its perfect. just the fact that we are there is enough. and he cares, im going up tomorrow, and my sister is like i dont know if i can see you early, its her birthday, and hes like, well you have to see your sister, shes more important, i just want you happy. i mean awwwwww man, he makes me crumble. and he makes me feel so special, he knows how to make me tingle... and the great thing is apparently i do the same so its like we are on the same wavelength. hes like one of my good friends. that is exactly what i want. someone i can talk to. someone i feel totally comfy around. someone who i can be myself around. as well as the relationship perks. yeh, so i hope everything works out. i really really do. but im not getting my hopes up yet. things can easily crash and burn. im gonna have to wait and see.
i reeeeeally like him. but at the same time, if it doesnt work out, i wouldnt be heartbroken.. gutted sure... but not like i have been in the past for guys. i have stopped myself which im proud of. i have tried my hardest to control my feelings. well im kinda nervous though.. i kinda get spurts of nervousness and i know im gonna freak out tomorrow. no lie. and i told lucie and tess i will and they just answered, "i know" so casually and as if it was anyother ordinary thing lol. dear god! maybe its because they know me so well lol, maybe its coz they've seen me with other guys ive liked and how ive acted then. but does that mean im gonna mess this up? i always do. honestly. i am clumsy and always say the wrong thing. its mean. but then at the same time, this feels different. this guy is amazing. we talk for hours on end. we sometimes dont even need to speak when we talk, we just sit in silence, and its perfect. just the fact that we are there is enough. and he cares, im going up tomorrow, and my sister is like i dont know if i can see you early, its her birthday, and hes like, well you have to see your sister, shes more important, i just want you happy. i mean awwwwww man, he makes me crumble. and he makes me feel so special, he knows how to make me tingle... and the great thing is apparently i do the same so its like we are on the same wavelength. hes like one of my good friends. that is exactly what i want. someone i can talk to. someone i feel totally comfy around. someone who i can be myself around. as well as the relationship perks. yeh, so i hope everything works out. i really really do. but im not getting my hopes up yet. things can easily crash and burn. im gonna have to wait and see.