(no subject)
well, might as well spill the beans now, not like anyone reads these things anyways now a days, if ive seen different lately, well, its because im going to the death of one of my more favorite aunts right now. she has been stricken with lung cancer, and honestly, never had smoked anything in her life. they believe it to be second hand. (part of the reason i gave up cigarettes) but the most awful part of this whole ordeal, is that my parents are in no way any help. they leave me out of the loop of things, then they come home late and guilt me for what i didn't know. thats awesome, honestly, fuck them. i care more about her then i ever will them. i seriously hate my parents, and its pains me so much to be in this house again, this house with all the bad memories. i have my dad that doesn't give a shit about me, except when it comes to my mistakes where he just lets out all his rage. then theres my mom, who just is a bitch all the time, but don't get me wrong i love my mom, shes just a bitch. and no matter how hard i try, she'll always be a bitch to me. i mean she gets upset of the most obscene things i do. i need out. i liked it better when they where like distant parents i rarely saw, we got a long better, now that im back here, i just want to fucking gouge my eyes out with soup. i mean i don't have a thing to my name in this house, not even my own room, i mean its worse of here then it was at my apartment, i just been downgraded. and now my grandfather is going through some hard times, and its so upsetting, because they don't tell me shit, i hate my parents, ever since i was little theyve screwed me over. i won't reveal there skeletons completely, but i will say this, having your mom as a banker and have full access to your savings, not a good thing. im just so frustrated, and angry, and cigarette deprived, and things just seem like they only get worse right now, or maybe i just cant see the good things going on.