Why does it always happen to me!?!?!

[randikay]

It seems like I will never get the chance to be happy again because I cant be with the one I want. He says that he no longer has feelings for me but I dont believe that. I know that he still cares for me deep down in his heart but he wont allow those feelings to surface any. No matter what he thinks though I really do love him with everything in me. But they say that if its meant to be then it will but the way its looking thats not how this situation will be. I know that we are meant to be together... I know we are.... but he wont give me another chance. He wont let his guard dont for nothing. If he was to give me one chance to prove to him that I love him and that we should be together.. he wouldnt regret it! He wants us to be friends and I can deal with that.. its hard but I can because I want him to be happy even if I cant be happy. No matter what though he will remain first in my heart because he was my first true love and no on could ever take his place. Your first love will always be special to you and you'll never fully get over them. Thats why I dont believe him when he says he feels nothing for me anymore. School is starting to get rough for me though. Seeing him everyday and with his girlfriend breaks my heart all over again. It breaks every day and it will as long as I have to sit back and see it all. It's not like I can ignore it because its right in my face everyday. I mean I see them together all the time, he parks beside me at school, and they are always together at 10min break and since we have the same friends I cant go talk to my friends because I feel so uncomfortable around him and her. Ive never felt so bad in my life before. I wanna disappear or just die and get all the sadness over with because I cant handle it at all. I feel like going and sitting in a corner alone and crying until I cant shed another tear but I know that wont help anything.. it would probably just make things worse for me. I need some help and badly.... Im drowning slowly in my pain. It feels like somone is putting a knife through my heart right now! I cant write anymore because if I do I going to end up just breaking down right now. So Goodbye!

RandiKay!

I Love Someone Who Dont Love Me and It Breaks My Heart!