Baby I... apologize for all the things I thought I learned...
I just realized, and came to 1 solution. I don't care WHAT he does, but also I don't care WHAT I do either. If he can do things I disapprove of, then as can I-- without feeling bad, right? SO I will. Starting tonight... I haven't hung out w/Mike in a looooooooong time, so maybe I will... just maybe. I dont understand why he made it a big deal to make it to a 16+ club "I want to go one last time before I turn 21" - WTF? For what? I'm sorry but I find it embarassing and very horrible that my guy goes to 16+ clubs, like I could never mention that to someone mature.. or anything-- they'd make fun of me. Does anybody else find it wrong a whole bunch of 20 year olds going to a 16+ event? So more than likely it's a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds. I'm so DISAPPOINTED in him. I don't even know EXACTLY how I feel.. I'm just mad, and disappointed- that's all. But I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, verbally.. so I'll just do something tonight that makes HIM mad. Plus, I didn't answer any of his phone calls last night :) He called me from the fckn club?? TWICE! It's so dumb. "Hey baby! I'm with a whole bunch of 16 year olds right now, googling them, I just want to say I love you" -- right, ok Dustin cool! I didn't pick my Navigator up this morning, only because they needed it to bring Amanda to the airport, and I didn't want to wait at Jesse's til 11am... so I said I might swing by and pick it up like 7ish tonight w// Jesse. But Jesse let me borrow his car for today- I just don't know if there's anything I really need to get done today, so quite possibly it could have been pointless, but still if I need one, I know it's there. Thank Baby:) Jesse is skipping school and going to look at cars for me with his father Wednesday, incase I decide against the Navigator cause the thing is... the Navigator will not be warranted, whereas the cars Jesse is going to look at for me, will be. Therefore in the long run COULD save my money. Get it? I have til Tues/Wed/Thurs to make my final decision. Why am I disliking my job so much now?--- I think cause it's so repetitive... I dont know. Maybe I'm nervous cause training is almost over- and I'll have to go out on the floor... and start working by myself-- ugh. I do already though starting May 1st paycheck [I find out Monday how much] get a raise already!!! :) Hopefully it's more than $0.15 Hanging out with Jesse lately made me remember how good of a man he really is, and how he does everything in his power just to please me. When he makes me angry/sad or anything he always feels super bad, I can tell by his eyes. They are his sorry-eyes. We were in Cub last night and he was like "baby.. are you embarassed to be seen with me, my hair like this?" I said "No, who are you trying to impress?" ... he said "you.. still.. everyday" I told him "You impress me everyday with everything you are, and everything you do. The look-phase is over... I know you're gorgeous." He smiled so big. And it's true.. when I think of THE PERFECT man.. I think 'Jesse' right away.. I don't know if it was how he was raised, or just stuff he picked up through the years that makes him the way he is. But as far as how he treats his girlfriends, or women in general is just so fantastic. Maybe I'll go shopping a little bit today before noon/one, I have to meet Jesse to set up the auto-loan, then I'm picking Jesse up at work at 6, so I'll go alittle shopping in between, as if I have the money too with all my debt, credit cards, bills, and a new vehicle on the way. k gots to go.