scene rant
What does it mean to feel recumbent?
For the first time in what, 7 years? I didn't go to warped tour. To be honest, I just really can't afford it. It's not the same any more, they don't do it at Randalls Island and I don't like the set up in Englishtown. It's too big, too hot, too many people, and the few bands I really care about seeing I've seen before so.. i'm over it. (never in my life did i think id ever say that lol) not a big deal if i miss a show.
In EXACTLY TWO WEEKS i move into my apartment. Where did this summer go? I'm feeling very indifferent about this summer. I haven't figured out my feelings on it as a whole, but I do know the end of it came out of no where. For a summer that included a whole lot of nothing it went extremely fast. I still have so much to buy for the apartment, and it's getting too expensive for me to handle. I'm really nervous when I think about how much I have to pay for rent every month. I need to find a well paying job at school asap. It'll be worth it...
I'm beginning to think that the whole "scene" thing has ruined music for me in a sense. When i first started getting into all of this in middle school, before I cared about any of the other things other than just loving the music, I enjoyed it so much more. I didn't follow the lives or drama of the band, I didn't give a shit about what people thought about me for liking the band or not liking a band, shows were just so much more fun. We'd go all out and get super excited for every show. Now all we do is complain about all the little kids there are, when frankly, we were them a few years ago. A scene that was created to bring people together to enjoy something that not a lot of people enjoyed has now become a popularity contest. Now you have to prove that you deserve to be there just because the music is opening up to a wider audience. I just don't find the point. If I love a band I shouldn't have to prove it to anyone. I don't care if you're a bigger fan or if I can prove I'm a bigger fan than you are.
There are so many bands that i was crazy over when I first started listening to this stuff, and when I listen to them now it still brings me back. There are so many bands that even though I don't listen to them often I will still LOVE listening to them because it reminds me of how much I loved them, and how that band used to make me feel. There were so many more bands like that then then there are bands that make me feel that way now. Theres just so much politics and drama and crap attached to it. I'm so done with trying and caring. It's time for everyone to move on from it and go back to just loving the music for the sake of the music. I think thats why I loved this brandnew tour soo much. They havent toured in so long that no one cared about anything at all these shows. Everyone was just so happy to see them on stage again.
I need to watch how I spend my money since my expences are going to be much higher this year. I'm not saying I'm giving up shows, because theres no way in hell I ever could. I love music and enjoy listening to it live WAY too much to give it up over stupid things, but I'm seriously going to have to cut back on them this year. I don't want going to shows and loving this music to define who I am. I've never been one to go all the way onto one side, I don't fit in with the hardcore kids, or the indie kids, or the pop punk kids... I'm just a regular average girl who's extremely passionate about all kinds of music and that should really be all that matters.
-----------
So that was my rant, not really sure where it came from, BUT ANYWAY. Since brandnewfest III i have:
*Worked a crapload. all any of us have been doing this summer is work our asses of.
*Went into the city with emily & her parents & some family from MD. We walked around, em and i got pretty jewelry and she got shoes. Then we went out to dinner at this nice italian place & saw a broadway show. Came back into town and met up with everyone for one last night of drinking at joe's.
*Saw John Tucker Must Die with em & becca. I might have LOOOOVED ITTTTT. Like... really loved it lol.
*Bought a shit load of things for my apartment !!!!
*Organized the bottom of my closet.
*Saw Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby with all the guys. ran into joe zim at the theatre! talk about random but nice surprise! The movie had its extremely funny parts, but as a whole it was ok. I don't think i could watch it more than once though, like I could anchorman. we all went to coach house after, havent been there in forever. good times. apparently sasquash and joseppe are going to get me in my sleep one of these days.
*Ran into christina who i havet seen in ages. nice talking to her. she looks good. im glad shes moving on from the scene bs too.
*Dinner at CPK with em & matt.
*Vegtable shopping & lottery ticket fun with becca
*Had a panic attack bc I can't find my necklace from my dad. I dont understand why when I finally clean my room I start losing things. I cancelled plans going crazy and didn't sleep for like 2 nights. i've finally calmed down and i know its going to turn up its just killing me in the mean time. daddy i'm sorry :(
*Had a good talk with my brother about my future and I feel good. I think they should make the lsats and law school easier so that i can be an entertainment lawyer.
It's pretty much been one year since i have eaten ice cream. I'd say thats quite an accomplishment.
okay this entry is long enough. xoxo
For the first time in what, 7 years? I didn't go to warped tour. To be honest, I just really can't afford it. It's not the same any more, they don't do it at Randalls Island and I don't like the set up in Englishtown. It's too big, too hot, too many people, and the few bands I really care about seeing I've seen before so.. i'm over it. (never in my life did i think id ever say that lol) not a big deal if i miss a show.
In EXACTLY TWO WEEKS i move into my apartment. Where did this summer go? I'm feeling very indifferent about this summer. I haven't figured out my feelings on it as a whole, but I do know the end of it came out of no where. For a summer that included a whole lot of nothing it went extremely fast. I still have so much to buy for the apartment, and it's getting too expensive for me to handle. I'm really nervous when I think about how much I have to pay for rent every month. I need to find a well paying job at school asap. It'll be worth it...
I'm beginning to think that the whole "scene" thing has ruined music for me in a sense. When i first started getting into all of this in middle school, before I cared about any of the other things other than just loving the music, I enjoyed it so much more. I didn't follow the lives or drama of the band, I didn't give a shit about what people thought about me for liking the band or not liking a band, shows were just so much more fun. We'd go all out and get super excited for every show. Now all we do is complain about all the little kids there are, when frankly, we were them a few years ago. A scene that was created to bring people together to enjoy something that not a lot of people enjoyed has now become a popularity contest. Now you have to prove that you deserve to be there just because the music is opening up to a wider audience. I just don't find the point. If I love a band I shouldn't have to prove it to anyone. I don't care if you're a bigger fan or if I can prove I'm a bigger fan than you are.
There are so many bands that i was crazy over when I first started listening to this stuff, and when I listen to them now it still brings me back. There are so many bands that even though I don't listen to them often I will still LOVE listening to them because it reminds me of how much I loved them, and how that band used to make me feel. There were so many more bands like that then then there are bands that make me feel that way now. Theres just so much politics and drama and crap attached to it. I'm so done with trying and caring. It's time for everyone to move on from it and go back to just loving the music for the sake of the music. I think thats why I loved this brandnew tour soo much. They havent toured in so long that no one cared about anything at all these shows. Everyone was just so happy to see them on stage again.
I need to watch how I spend my money since my expences are going to be much higher this year. I'm not saying I'm giving up shows, because theres no way in hell I ever could. I love music and enjoy listening to it live WAY too much to give it up over stupid things, but I'm seriously going to have to cut back on them this year. I don't want going to shows and loving this music to define who I am. I've never been one to go all the way onto one side, I don't fit in with the hardcore kids, or the indie kids, or the pop punk kids... I'm just a regular average girl who's extremely passionate about all kinds of music and that should really be all that matters.
-----------
So that was my rant, not really sure where it came from, BUT ANYWAY. Since brandnewfest III i have:
*Worked a crapload. all any of us have been doing this summer is work our asses of.
*Went into the city with emily & her parents & some family from MD. We walked around, em and i got pretty jewelry and she got shoes. Then we went out to dinner at this nice italian place & saw a broadway show. Came back into town and met up with everyone for one last night of drinking at joe's.
*Saw John Tucker Must Die with em & becca. I might have LOOOOVED ITTTTT. Like... really loved it lol.
*Bought a shit load of things for my apartment !!!!
*Organized the bottom of my closet.
*Saw Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby with all the guys. ran into joe zim at the theatre! talk about random but nice surprise! The movie had its extremely funny parts, but as a whole it was ok. I don't think i could watch it more than once though, like I could anchorman. we all went to coach house after, havent been there in forever. good times. apparently sasquash and joseppe are going to get me in my sleep one of these days.
*Ran into christina who i havet seen in ages. nice talking to her. she looks good. im glad shes moving on from the scene bs too.
*Dinner at CPK with em & matt.
*Vegtable shopping & lottery ticket fun with becca
*Had a panic attack bc I can't find my necklace from my dad. I dont understand why when I finally clean my room I start losing things. I cancelled plans going crazy and didn't sleep for like 2 nights. i've finally calmed down and i know its going to turn up its just killing me in the mean time. daddy i'm sorry :(
*Had a good talk with my brother about my future and I feel good. I think they should make the lsats and law school easier so that i can be an entertainment lawyer.
It's pretty much been one year since i have eaten ice cream. I'd say thats quite an accomplishment.
okay this entry is long enough. xoxo