long weekend

[randallfam]

As I was driving to my parents on Friday to drop Toby off (since I work one day a week, he stays with grandma and grandpa) it hit me like a ton of bricks that it had been one month since Ben's death. Longest month of my life. I feel like I should be writing about it, but I don't know what to say, really. It was a really hard realization to take

Comments

[jackiemania]

I had a similar experience this weekend with my little niece Anna - her and Vincent were 6 months apart - Heather and I were pregnant at the same time - she gave me her maternity clothes as she grew out of them, when Anna was born I was holding her, pregnant myself - we had so many plans about switching off babysitting and having the cousins raised together. Now every time I see her of course I think of all that. Think of what Vincent is missing. OK gotta stop - can't cry at work.

It's so hard, Kym. Joy will come back, but it's never how it used to be. We are different people now, tempered by something not everyone goes through.

Jackie.

Been there...sort of

[anonymous]

Kym--

Just wanted to let you know I've been reading along and can empathize--you're describing almost exactly what I felt like (feel like sometimes) when my Mom passed away. Bravo to you for being able to express it--something I still suck at. Anyway, one of the things that helped me was something a colleague told me about his mother passing away, and my guess it probably applies as well to losing a son. He was asking somebody who had gone through a similar experience when the pain goes away. They replied that it never really goes away, it just becomes easier with time to deal with. For me, I guess that helped me realize that it wasn't something to "get over", it was something to work through. I think of you and Scott often and send good thoughts and prayers your way!

J.J.

[zoobily_zoo]

With time you're going to rejoice in all of the little things again, and will come out of the fog. I will just venture a guess in saying that you won't ever be exactly the same, but it isn't going to be a bad thing. If anything you will be stronger & an advocate for so many people. When I became a mother my friends just didn't understand my feelings, or my priorities, because they hadn't experienced that. I haven't experienced the loss of a child, and don't want to pretend like I know all there is to know. But I don't want to abandon you either. I'll always be there when you need me.