Strength has nothing to do with overpowering every aspect of a situation you come across. You become stronger by going through the not so great occurrences in life. Everyone has a weakness, and not everyone knows what that weakness is. Something seems to be attacking you internally and you have no idea what it is. I had the exact same problem, sweetie. Two psychiatrists couldn't figure it out, but how could they? They didn't know me like I did. For only you know everything about your being. I have no words or advice to magically make you who it is you want to be. That what's so great/horrible about humanity "What we put into life is what we get out of it." Now slamming down your good friend Mr. Jimmy Beam doesn't seem to do doing a whole lot for you. I'm not going to be some person to tell you it's bad for you and you need to stop and all, but you need to find a different release from your pain. Even if you just need to go out somewhere at 2 in the morning, just call me sweetie. We used to be so much closer and it hurts to see us this far gone, but I always think of you every time I see one of your posts. I miss you sweetie and you should know I'm always here for you. Just remember "When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind, and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power." You can choose where life takes you. You do have friends that can help you, long lost pals who are more than able and willing to be there for you. I can only hope that you will come to us in your times of need sweetie. You deserve more than what you are getting. I love you baby...
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