its been forever...
so ya i havent updated in forever. everything is different. but somehow still the same. i still love kendra. i dont know where that will go but now i know it will never change. ive been exploring a different path but my heart is still where its been for the past year so its been hard to decide what i want and need. i still have a lot of thinking to do. im working tomorrow so ill have a lil bit of money which never hurts. i bought the him cd tonight and its really good. im in a bind right now on what to do with my life but i think after a lot of thought ill know whats right in my heart. i just gotta stop feeling guilty and do what i wanna do. its gotta happen sooner or later so why not now. i love someone so much but i dont know if it can be, and i dont wanna live in limbo forever. ive given a lot to this relationship and i dont know how much more i can give before i just dont care. i want it to work more than anything but i cant keep trying with out accomplishing anything. its wearing me down and i dont believe in love as much as i used to. whatever, ill keep living and hope something will work out. i just want to be happy. and i want Kendra to be happy. thats it. sounds simple enough. but im still waiting for it to happen...