Don't you hate repeating things over and over and over and..
Isiah calls me and he goes "I want to talk to you but I kinda don't because you don't want to hang out with me and I can't talk to you about things or be normal around you." I said this same shit months and months ago and now that he's "seen the fucking light", it's okay now. Basically this "thing" we have going on isn't really a friendship because that's just not gonna happen right away and we aint together so I don't have the foggiest idea why we still talk even if it's not everyday like before. That's what pisses me off about him and makes me want to cuss him out. How you gonna decide NOW that we can't be friends when I had said this ish so many times that I got tired of hearing myself say it. I don't want to kick it cuz I can't be normal around him and he annoys me to no end. I care about him and love him but not in that way anymore. But we'll see how long this lasts though. He's always having an epiphany.
Tommorow is the dreaded meeting with my father and "brother". Have I said I don't want to go? Cuz I really don't. It's still surreal to me. Here goes nothing though. I seen him in the store but I don't think he seen me so I quickened my pace in case he wheeled his wheelchair around and wanted to talk to me. What's there to say to him? It'll all be said tommorow.
I need some clothes. Seriously bad. I'm going to this club called TenFifteen with Christie and her friend. It's a straight club. She knows I'm not feeling the gay club stuff. I have NOTHING to wear, not even a decent pair of jeans. I have no money for me or for presents so I didn't get any. I'll be broke until the 30th. At least I'll have money for New Years. I'm getting my Godparents a card and writing an IOU cuz really, I have $100 to my name and if I give them what I want to give them I'll have $0. They'll understand especially since they forgot my birthday. My girl forgot my shit too but it's okay, I aint tripping. I'm just ready for December to end quickly. Best thing about this time of year is the paid days off and all the food and candy that we get sent to us at my job. I love this place sometimes. Right now I do.
I scheduled an appointment to get my permit for Jan 17th. Then I'ma sign up for driving school. My first step in becoming independent and an adult. I'm proud of me. I'm ready to grow up finally. This is a step. Driving isn't so bad.
Let me get to work. I've been slacking all day. It's Friday, it's raining, the president is gone for the day and I'm ready to get up on out of here. 30mins to go.