almost there
I need the summer. I need time to regroup and prepare to move forward with life. Luckily, there are only a few days left. Unfortunately, these few days are looking like they'll be the hardest I've had to endure so far. There are projects to do and gigs to rehearse for and I would give anything for more time. Or some peace of mind so that I can focus and do something productive with myself. I have two juries tomorrow and don't feel ready for either of them. But i've already spent several hours in practice rooms today as well as a few hours this morning at home practicing. I can't physically do any more good for myself. I just get so frustrated with myself lately. Lately I feel like so many people have confidence in me, and i'm not only failing but letting them all down. I can do better and I know tit. But now I just want to throw in the towel. I want a fresh start in the fall when I can actually focus on my work and be the person I want to be. Lately, I haven't been able to sleep through the night because of stress and nervousness. I feel like my mind is constantly on and I'm just searching for the off switch. I would give anything for some peace of mind.
~Josh
~Josh