It's been a weird semester
Lately, I've been feeling the most apathetic that I have in years. At first, I doubted whether I even wanted to be in music anymore. Of course that was simply me being a dumb-ass because what else on earth would I ever do? A slightly more serious doubt has arisen for me in my choice of primary instrument. At the time when I had to make that decision, there was no choice. Trumpet was the only instrument I could have passed an audition on as it was the only one I had ever been serious about. But now, as I do more and more ensembles on more and more instruments, I question myself as to why I'm a trumpet player. I would be so much more marketable as a tuba/horn/bassoon player. Plus, the trumpet has always come hard to me. I spend a lot of time practicing for only moderate improvement. By comparison, I've gotten to a reasonable playing level in infinitesimal amounts of time on the other instruments. Tonight, on the night before my convo performance on trumpet, i wonder this more than ever. Why can't i just find something and stick to it and be happy like everyone else?
In other news, I tried out for a solo in the Schubert mass in Uchorus. I didn't get it and to make things worse, the director didn't assign that solo to anyone. Aren't I better than nothing? I understand his concern about how little time I've been studying voice, but my voice teacher would not have let me audition if he didn't think I could succeed in actually performing it. It's a little frustrating. Oh well, such is life.
Socially, I kind of feel like an outcast. Being in 8 ensembles and taking so many classes is really affecting my social life in a bad way. Hopefully next semester I will fix this problem and feel like I belong somewhere again. I know the following is a new thought, but I'm putting it in the same paragraph anyway. I know, I really am a rebel. Or maybe just a geek. Who apparently no longer writes in complete sentences. But I digress. I can't wait for spring break. I really need to get away from this place. To not even look at FAC for a week. Friday can't come soon enough.
That's all for now
~Josh
In other news, I tried out for a solo in the Schubert mass in Uchorus. I didn't get it and to make things worse, the director didn't assign that solo to anyone. Aren't I better than nothing? I understand his concern about how little time I've been studying voice, but my voice teacher would not have let me audition if he didn't think I could succeed in actually performing it. It's a little frustrating. Oh well, such is life.
Socially, I kind of feel like an outcast. Being in 8 ensembles and taking so many classes is really affecting my social life in a bad way. Hopefully next semester I will fix this problem and feel like I belong somewhere again. I know the following is a new thought, but I'm putting it in the same paragraph anyway. I know, I really am a rebel. Or maybe just a geek. Who apparently no longer writes in complete sentences. But I digress. I can't wait for spring break. I really need to get away from this place. To not even look at FAC for a week. Friday can't come soon enough.
That's all for now
~Josh