(no subject)
Since most havn't found my other lj yet. I figured it's best to share what's goin on in my head. This is a true report of how I was feeling at the time.
You tell youself that you'd never do it again. You promise people that you'd never do it again. But, then you find yourself sitting alone and feeling just like you did before. And the only thing that you can think of is, gee I'd really just love to watch myself bleed right about now.
What is it that pushes someone to this point, and why do they do it. It's just hoping that it makes the pain go away is all I can say.
There are some promises that I just can't keep and some that I've tried so hard to hold on to. Only to realize that she doesn't indeed give a fuck about me anymore. Never realized she could be so cold, but I guess it's whats best for her and I did in fact say that I just wanted her to be happy.
To that I say this, any promise I made during that time is now void and no longer holds any meaning, feeling or value with me what so ever. I'm to the point I guess that she must be at. All it takes is just to see a picture and it pisses me off to no end. What the fuck is up with that, how can you go from loving someone that much, to never wanting to see them again?
Well, guess I just gotta roll with the punches.
I've put my own feelins aside for far to long. Tried my best to make sure that everyone else was happy. And when I finally did check on myself I was mess, a complete broken down mess. I just can't live like that anymore.
If you've read this far don't worry, I'm not gonna sit here and carve my arm up with a kitchen knife. Wouldn't want to give certain people the satisfaction of knowing some things still hurt me more than they should.
Like it says in my bio, this is my place to vent. I even warned you. Sometimes it just helps to write down everything that your feeling. Difference with me is, I share it.
You can think of me what you will, and say what you want about me. Spread all the rumors you like. I don't care anymore, to those who would do that I say this...Fuck You.
Goodnight everyone.
You tell youself that you'd never do it again. You promise people that you'd never do it again. But, then you find yourself sitting alone and feeling just like you did before. And the only thing that you can think of is, gee I'd really just love to watch myself bleed right about now.
What is it that pushes someone to this point, and why do they do it. It's just hoping that it makes the pain go away is all I can say.
There are some promises that I just can't keep and some that I've tried so hard to hold on to. Only to realize that she doesn't indeed give a fuck about me anymore. Never realized she could be so cold, but I guess it's whats best for her and I did in fact say that I just wanted her to be happy.
To that I say this, any promise I made during that time is now void and no longer holds any meaning, feeling or value with me what so ever. I'm to the point I guess that she must be at. All it takes is just to see a picture and it pisses me off to no end. What the fuck is up with that, how can you go from loving someone that much, to never wanting to see them again?
Well, guess I just gotta roll with the punches.
I've put my own feelins aside for far to long. Tried my best to make sure that everyone else was happy. And when I finally did check on myself I was mess, a complete broken down mess. I just can't live like that anymore.
If you've read this far don't worry, I'm not gonna sit here and carve my arm up with a kitchen knife. Wouldn't want to give certain people the satisfaction of knowing some things still hurt me more than they should.
Like it says in my bio, this is my place to vent. I even warned you. Sometimes it just helps to write down everything that your feeling. Difference with me is, I share it.
You can think of me what you will, and say what you want about me. Spread all the rumors you like. I don't care anymore, to those who would do that I say this...Fuck You.
Goodnight everyone.