failure

[ramfan]

Well today i am feeling like a complete failure. My life is going nowhere. I am drowning in debt. I have to do something to change my life, but i dont know where to start. I dont have money to go to school and if i did, I never liked school anyway. It took me a long time to finally finish high school. I dont know that i want to go back. I get sick all the time. I miss a lot of work. LUckily I have a nice boss who understands that i have something wrongwith my stomache and doesnt fire me for missing work. I keep asking myself how i can get another job when I cant work what i am scheduled. I cant find a way to pay to find out the problem with my stomache. If i had another job i would have been fired a long time ago for missing. I dont know what to do anymore. Sometimes i think it would be better if i was dead. Noone would miss me. I havent been to church in a year because i wonder whether god really cares for me. I have no doubt that he exists. I am supposed to be a member of a church of god in taft, but I dont feel like anyone the church cares about. THe pastor, who is supposed to be my friend, doesnt even call to see how i am doing. I know i am feeling sorry for myself and i should get over it. I dont have any friends i can talk to about how bad my life is. Sometimes i pray that god would let me die. I dont know if anything will get better. The friend that i do have, i dont want to bother because they are busy and have their own problems. I guess this post is just a way to feel better.

P.S. obama sucks