twilight friends
My day
I really like the book twilight, by stephenie meyers for a lot of different reasons. And its a hugely popular book. As a bookseller, I would say the public response is just as fervent as the harry potter love. And we sell several copies of her three books A DAY. Yet there's no media attention for them. I wonder why. And even though we sell so many, we don't have anything planned for when her fourth book comes out. No midnight party or anything. And even though those are a pain in the ass, I would totally volunteer and work it.
I was talking to a coworker today, a really cool girl named Kaitlyn. We were geeking out about the upcoming Twilight movie, and especially about robert pattlinson, who plays edward, who also played cedric diggory in the harry potter movies. And then two customers later, I got this eighty year old woman who also loves the books and had her own opinions about the movie. It was awesome.
Ive been working in BN for about three years now. A lot of it sucks. But lately ive been having a good time. Mainly I work with desiree and amanda. Whenever I work with them im generally relaxed, no matter how bad it gets, because I know that the store will get done by 11pm. Always. I dont ever feel left behind with them. And Ive been slowly getting to know some of the people who've been there all along but ive never really talked to before. Like robin in music. Weve chatted, but lately weve been actually getting to know each other. And Alex. Ive hung out with him a few times. Had a guitar lesson from him. I think what Ive always taken to be apatheticness is just really an incredible sense of patience. I mean, he does totally get apathetic. But he can be very still in a way thats just quiet, not bored or not there. He's just listening. And ive had conversations with him where ive been surprised by how much he actually does retain about everyone around him. I like him. I think jess has that a bit, in groups, but im so used to her that i never mistake that for not being interested. And renee, in cafe. She's a lot of fun. And we have a lot in common. She's usually pretty quiet, but she talked a lot tonight, and it was good. And ive gotten along with amanda all along, but i think were really becoming friends now. Its nice.
Ive been wavering lately between feeling lonely and lost and miserable, and feeling certain that things are going well, but its just taking some time. Like the whole grad school, being a counselor thing. I WANT IT. SO BAD. But always the thought is there, should i just give up and go get some stupid 9-5 job. My brother is doing it, plus he's going to school. And my parents keep telling me that enough is enough, its time to stop playing around and be an adult. i dont know. at what point should you stop chasing your dreams and just admit its not going to happen? when does it stop being ambition and just start being sad? i don't know.
I got a call from erin the other night. I hadnt talked to her in about two months. Oddly, I hadnt talked to mario in about a month, and he called that same night. Theyre completely unconnected, so i just found it interesting. But yeah, erin.
She told me that she'd been rethinking a lot of aspects of our friendship, but she decided she wanted to remain best friends with me. Its put me in this wierd state of mind. I dont know how to feel when someone tells me that i generally suck as a friend, but they still want me. Am i supposed to be flattered? Im not being sarcastic, i generally dont know what to feel. Should i be happy? My instinct is to say, look, if its that much of a hardship, then why is it even worth it to you? why keep me around? Maybe thats why im so ambivalent. its one of my biggest downfalls, my need to know WHY. Always. I get in trouble all the time for it. But i heard all the reasons i suck, so logically, she should dump me. But she decided to keep me, and i dont know WHY? Why keep me on as a friend if you dont like the way i act? We left things kind of shaky, so i didnt want to ask. But i think i need to.
Ive been walking around uneasy about it for days, just feeling kind of blue. today put me over the edge. Ive been having problems with my laptop and i keep returning to best buy to check on it. Its been a whole rigmarole, so im already frustrated. And then i see tony in best buy. And its a really big store, so it shouldnt have mattered. But he sees me and he literally, LITERALLY, turns on his heel and walks out the store. Now, i know our history, so i get it, kind of. But essentially, no matter who it is, it really sucks when the sight of you is enough to make someone LEAVE a store. To cancel whatever plans he has and walk out. Even worse, i had already shrugged it off by the time i left best buy. But then i went to the library to study, and i sat down at a table, and the man sitting there GETS UP and goes and sits at the very next table. I have no idea why. But coming as it did immediately after tony, and a little bit after erin, it left me feeling like nobody likes me. And yes, blah blah, ridiculous. still, its what i felt in the moment. and it is a sucky feeling. (And I STILL dont have my laptop)
Plus, im stuck on math, and i hate it. so very much. it took me a solid fifteen minutes today to figure out the percentage discount for some of the books i had to sticker. That was slightly depressing because if i can't figure out what percentage 19.96 is off 27.99, then how the hell am i supposed to do it for a big test?
everything sucks right now.
I really like the book twilight, by stephenie meyers for a lot of different reasons. And its a hugely popular book. As a bookseller, I would say the public response is just as fervent as the harry potter love. And we sell several copies of her three books A DAY. Yet there's no media attention for them. I wonder why. And even though we sell so many, we don't have anything planned for when her fourth book comes out. No midnight party or anything. And even though those are a pain in the ass, I would totally volunteer and work it.
I was talking to a coworker today, a really cool girl named Kaitlyn. We were geeking out about the upcoming Twilight movie, and especially about robert pattlinson, who plays edward, who also played cedric diggory in the harry potter movies. And then two customers later, I got this eighty year old woman who also loves the books and had her own opinions about the movie. It was awesome.
Ive been working in BN for about three years now. A lot of it sucks. But lately ive been having a good time. Mainly I work with desiree and amanda. Whenever I work with them im generally relaxed, no matter how bad it gets, because I know that the store will get done by 11pm. Always. I dont ever feel left behind with them. And Ive been slowly getting to know some of the people who've been there all along but ive never really talked to before. Like robin in music. Weve chatted, but lately weve been actually getting to know each other. And Alex. Ive hung out with him a few times. Had a guitar lesson from him. I think what Ive always taken to be apatheticness is just really an incredible sense of patience. I mean, he does totally get apathetic. But he can be very still in a way thats just quiet, not bored or not there. He's just listening. And ive had conversations with him where ive been surprised by how much he actually does retain about everyone around him. I like him. I think jess has that a bit, in groups, but im so used to her that i never mistake that for not being interested. And renee, in cafe. She's a lot of fun. And we have a lot in common. She's usually pretty quiet, but she talked a lot tonight, and it was good. And ive gotten along with amanda all along, but i think were really becoming friends now. Its nice.
Ive been wavering lately between feeling lonely and lost and miserable, and feeling certain that things are going well, but its just taking some time. Like the whole grad school, being a counselor thing. I WANT IT. SO BAD. But always the thought is there, should i just give up and go get some stupid 9-5 job. My brother is doing it, plus he's going to school. And my parents keep telling me that enough is enough, its time to stop playing around and be an adult. i dont know. at what point should you stop chasing your dreams and just admit its not going to happen? when does it stop being ambition and just start being sad? i don't know.
I got a call from erin the other night. I hadnt talked to her in about two months. Oddly, I hadnt talked to mario in about a month, and he called that same night. Theyre completely unconnected, so i just found it interesting. But yeah, erin.
She told me that she'd been rethinking a lot of aspects of our friendship, but she decided she wanted to remain best friends with me. Its put me in this wierd state of mind. I dont know how to feel when someone tells me that i generally suck as a friend, but they still want me. Am i supposed to be flattered? Im not being sarcastic, i generally dont know what to feel. Should i be happy? My instinct is to say, look, if its that much of a hardship, then why is it even worth it to you? why keep me around? Maybe thats why im so ambivalent. its one of my biggest downfalls, my need to know WHY. Always. I get in trouble all the time for it. But i heard all the reasons i suck, so logically, she should dump me. But she decided to keep me, and i dont know WHY? Why keep me on as a friend if you dont like the way i act? We left things kind of shaky, so i didnt want to ask. But i think i need to.
Ive been walking around uneasy about it for days, just feeling kind of blue. today put me over the edge. Ive been having problems with my laptop and i keep returning to best buy to check on it. Its been a whole rigmarole, so im already frustrated. And then i see tony in best buy. And its a really big store, so it shouldnt have mattered. But he sees me and he literally, LITERALLY, turns on his heel and walks out the store. Now, i know our history, so i get it, kind of. But essentially, no matter who it is, it really sucks when the sight of you is enough to make someone LEAVE a store. To cancel whatever plans he has and walk out. Even worse, i had already shrugged it off by the time i left best buy. But then i went to the library to study, and i sat down at a table, and the man sitting there GETS UP and goes and sits at the very next table. I have no idea why. But coming as it did immediately after tony, and a little bit after erin, it left me feeling like nobody likes me. And yes, blah blah, ridiculous. still, its what i felt in the moment. and it is a sucky feeling. (And I STILL dont have my laptop)
Plus, im stuck on math, and i hate it. so very much. it took me a solid fifteen minutes today to figure out the percentage discount for some of the books i had to sticker. That was slightly depressing because if i can't figure out what percentage 19.96 is off 27.99, then how the hell am i supposed to do it for a big test?
everything sucks right now.