(no subject)
so i rolled in at about 1 am last night or well.. this morning- it was a long weird trip where i discovered a lot, the kind of prospective building thing. We stayed with me half brother who i was pretty much meeting for the first time, he looks nothing like me but we have a ridiculous amount in common, are we suppose to act like siblings even though were really strangers to one another? well i suppose we found some cort of median. He likes cats and has like 6 of them- they are really really fat cats warning: this is going to be a really really long entry
my dad showed us where he lived when he was growing up on his farm which was beautiful and like my dream, he shoed us his high school and elementary school he started out at- its strange to think about a man whos so above the rest of world and wise with age growing up
he showed us his house that he had with his last wife and kids - its a freaking massive brick manchine and he was like head of the country club down the street- in the city he owned/was president of this huge insurance company and he had a building built designed by the same man who designed the world trade centers- it was the noticable nicest biggest prettiest, and classiest building in the entire city and that was all my dads- who was that???? my father practically lives in a trailer home type place now and went for a while without even owning a car, he mocks material possesions and hates anything austentasious and lectures daily on the misguided ideas of success- isnt that just a tad bit hypocritical since you had it all and did it all- but hes such a definite example that success and money isnt happiness. You cant help thinking where hed be if he didnt leave his first family, hed be in some coastal condo somewhere living lavishly probably but maybe not... who knows? i saw the graves of his mother, father, sister, etc. i thought he was going to cry when we were there that was tough for me considering i struggle in the emotion department(lack of it) but they are buried where abraham lincoln is- we went to so many abraham lincoln things and abraham lincoln is really not that big of a deal his myth became much greater and blown out of proportion than we have proof he ever was- he didnt do as much as people think, most real heroes are hidden yes soo i reached the point of aggravation with abe ha that would be a good song name
ive been sick allll summer they wanted me to go into the hospital in illinois- it was either that or leave and come straight home- i hate that i had to cut our trip short and i was blamed too, my dad repeated what a hassle it was and blah blah blah its not my fault!! and do you not think that i was suffering more having to a)force two other people to go home b)go home to miami which i hate so much c) go home only for the doctor which makes me vomet and shake and i hate more than anything and d)suffer through this non stop painnn thats a huge handicap i cant breathe i cant hear i cant think i cant focus i cant do anything and you cant ignore when your neck and ear are throbbing
just shows how much they care pshh ud figure once you already realize that noone cares about u or at least that your family doesnt care about you things that prove it would stop getting hurtful or ud expect it but they are still hurtful but thats ok because i stole a spoon from tennessee and that made me feel a bit better and my ears a lot better now- it just feels like an airplane landing but before it was trecherous! i actually cried which is weird
i have a nephew named noah and hes almost 4 and i get to be aunt sarah
my mother just gave me an entire typed up memorandum/ contract which is psychotic!!!! I HATE HER SOOOOO MUCH and thats no exageration it says i get 20 dollars every time i loose 5 pounds (weigh ins to be arranged for both of your convinience) and it lists sat scores and what money id make for what scores i got- god damn maniac she has such serious mental problems so well i guess anerexia here i come cus i really really need money- maniacc someone hellllpppp cus i have noo more real friends and ive never had any real family but then again nothing is real anyway fuck it all high school can kiss my ass *the rest stops in kentucky are orgasmic o and listen to this song its magnificent
my dad showed us where he lived when he was growing up on his farm which was beautiful and like my dream, he shoed us his high school and elementary school he started out at- its strange to think about a man whos so above the rest of world and wise with age growing up
he showed us his house that he had with his last wife and kids - its a freaking massive brick manchine and he was like head of the country club down the street- in the city he owned/was president of this huge insurance company and he had a building built designed by the same man who designed the world trade centers- it was the noticable nicest biggest prettiest, and classiest building in the entire city and that was all my dads- who was that???? my father practically lives in a trailer home type place now and went for a while without even owning a car, he mocks material possesions and hates anything austentasious and lectures daily on the misguided ideas of success- isnt that just a tad bit hypocritical since you had it all and did it all- but hes such a definite example that success and money isnt happiness. You cant help thinking where hed be if he didnt leave his first family, hed be in some coastal condo somewhere living lavishly probably but maybe not... who knows? i saw the graves of his mother, father, sister, etc. i thought he was going to cry when we were there that was tough for me considering i struggle in the emotion department(lack of it) but they are buried where abraham lincoln is- we went to so many abraham lincoln things and abraham lincoln is really not that big of a deal his myth became much greater and blown out of proportion than we have proof he ever was- he didnt do as much as people think, most real heroes are hidden yes soo i reached the point of aggravation with abe ha that would be a good song name
ive been sick allll summer they wanted me to go into the hospital in illinois- it was either that or leave and come straight home- i hate that i had to cut our trip short and i was blamed too, my dad repeated what a hassle it was and blah blah blah its not my fault!! and do you not think that i was suffering more having to a)force two other people to go home b)go home to miami which i hate so much c) go home only for the doctor which makes me vomet and shake and i hate more than anything and d)suffer through this non stop painnn thats a huge handicap i cant breathe i cant hear i cant think i cant focus i cant do anything and you cant ignore when your neck and ear are throbbing
just shows how much they care pshh ud figure once you already realize that noone cares about u or at least that your family doesnt care about you things that prove it would stop getting hurtful or ud expect it but they are still hurtful but thats ok because i stole a spoon from tennessee and that made me feel a bit better and my ears a lot better now- it just feels like an airplane landing but before it was trecherous! i actually cried which is weird
i have a nephew named noah and hes almost 4 and i get to be aunt sarah
my mother just gave me an entire typed up memorandum/ contract which is psychotic!!!! I HATE HER SOOOOO MUCH and thats no exageration it says i get 20 dollars every time i loose 5 pounds (weigh ins to be arranged for both of your convinience) and it lists sat scores and what money id make for what scores i got- god damn maniac she has such serious mental problems so well i guess anerexia here i come cus i really really need money- maniacc someone hellllpppp cus i have noo more real friends and ive never had any real family but then again nothing is real anyway fuck it all high school can kiss my ass *the rest stops in kentucky are orgasmic o and listen to this song its magnificent