mad_muses - April 1.2.2 - Gone
I'm lying here on the floor where you left me//I think I took too much//I'm crying here, what have you done?//I thought it would be fun ~Pink
She didn't just leave him, she left. She left and took his world away from him. He'd always been a simple kind of guy. Work a job he loves, have his friends and family. It was all he needed. All he wanted. And she stole that from him.
He hadn't realized how much he would miss her in the weeks after they had left. Things had been rocky for months, but he still loved her. He knew she still loved him. Apparently that wasn't always enough. Even more - he missed Frankie. Since the day he really became a part of Heather and Frankie's lives, he'd never been apart from Frankie for long. For five years - never more than a few days. And they had been gone for a month. And Randall hadn't known that pain could be that real or could cut so deep.
He had tried to get back into work right after they left the country, but he couldn't make it. Within a week he was holed up in his apartment, just waiting for the days to pass him by. Waiting for her to call him. Waiting.
Randall didn't want to learn to live without Frankie in his life. He didn't know how to do that. He didn't know how to go to sleep without checking on the boy to just...make sure he was okay. See him breathing. He couldn't do that. He was robbed of that.
It hurt. Losing them both like that. He hadn't hurt like that since he was a little boy, when his father had left. That he was able to get over. He didn't think he could get over Frankie being gone.
He'd always been an easy going kind of guy. Go with the flow and take what life throws his way. He didn't like living with regrets or fears, because life couldn't be as good with those.
But he was scared. He hadn't even realized it until a year had passed, but the woman he had loved for so long instilled fear in him. He was scared of falling in love with Anna, because he didn't like the pain. He didn't want someone else he loved to leave. Randall did everything with his whole heart. From work to love to every day life. He was always all in. It's just who he was. And he was finally starting to wonder if that was more of a bad thing than good. It only left more out there to break. Scared as he was, though, he couldn't run from it. He couldn't run from her. He was too busy falling.
438
She didn't just leave him, she left. She left and took his world away from him. He'd always been a simple kind of guy. Work a job he loves, have his friends and family. It was all he needed. All he wanted. And she stole that from him.
He hadn't realized how much he would miss her in the weeks after they had left. Things had been rocky for months, but he still loved her. He knew she still loved him. Apparently that wasn't always enough. Even more - he missed Frankie. Since the day he really became a part of Heather and Frankie's lives, he'd never been apart from Frankie for long. For five years - never more than a few days. And they had been gone for a month. And Randall hadn't known that pain could be that real or could cut so deep.
He had tried to get back into work right after they left the country, but he couldn't make it. Within a week he was holed up in his apartment, just waiting for the days to pass him by. Waiting for her to call him. Waiting.
Randall didn't want to learn to live without Frankie in his life. He didn't know how to do that. He didn't know how to go to sleep without checking on the boy to just...make sure he was okay. See him breathing. He couldn't do that. He was robbed of that.
It hurt. Losing them both like that. He hadn't hurt like that since he was a little boy, when his father had left. That he was able to get over. He didn't think he could get over Frankie being gone.
He'd always been an easy going kind of guy. Go with the flow and take what life throws his way. He didn't like living with regrets or fears, because life couldn't be as good with those.
But he was scared. He hadn't even realized it until a year had passed, but the woman he had loved for so long instilled fear in him. He was scared of falling in love with Anna, because he didn't like the pain. He didn't want someone else he loved to leave. Randall did everything with his whole heart. From work to love to every day life. He was always all in. It's just who he was. And he was finally starting to wonder if that was more of a bad thing than good. It only left more out there to break. Scared as he was, though, he couldn't run from it. He couldn't run from her. He was too busy falling.
438