(no subject)
Well, here am folks. Sitting here, sipping my ice coffee, and crossing my legs because i have to pee. I'm trying to train my over-active blatter to stfu. It's probably not healthy, but whatevskee.
It's come to my attention, well, actually I've known right along and have been planning for halloween. It is now fast approaching.
The deal is, I was planning to be the childlike empress from the neverending story, but I was thinking now, maybe I want to be alice from wonderland. This is because the costume would be a lot easier to throw together, and people might actually know who I was trying to be. Blast my brown hair.
Also, I believe there is going to be a party at the McLaughlin/Lordan residence in Bostonia which I shall be attending in all my halloweeny glory, even though it won't be on the actual day.
PSAT's this saturday, mehr. School is stressing me out, this whole year is going to go so fast, and I have to do really well. This isn't even like normal Junior stress, it's more like "I've fucked up my entire highschool education up until this point and I have to make a COMPLETE turnaround or I'm screwed as far as getting into ANY college goes junior" stress.
I studied really hard for the bio test I took today. So much of my notebook is filled up with notes on the chapter, notes from his lectures, and me re-writing out worksheets we did, just so I could know the material. I totally owned in class discussions, and for once I understood. Then came the test, it had little to do with anything we'd spent the last 2 weeks going over. I am so devastated. I think I'll pass, but I was really rooting for an A. I just don't think that's going to happen.
It's really discouraging because I have such a hard time motivating myself to do work and apply my head to my work, and the one time I put a whole lot of effort into learning something I won't have anything to show for it.
DEHYDRATION SYNTHISIS MY FUCKING ASS.
I'll show you a condensation reaction. ::shakes fist::
Yesterday I hung out with Aja. She really is the most amazing girl. I love that I can talk to her without feeling stupid, and I can sing really loud downtown at the bus stop about having the "I wish I had thicker socks on blues" without feeling stupid. I love that she's not tangled up in fucking gloucester drama. She's on of the few and the proud that I talk to at that school. Well I take that back, I speak to quite a few people, but few of them are worth wasting my breath.
It's not that I'm so high and mighty, it just takes time and effort to relate to people. The time and effort that I should put into concentrating on schoolwork. People are so distracting, and generally moronic...okay, maybe I do think I'm a little high and mighty. At the very least I think far differant from them.
She said let me tell you a story...
designs fold into the crease of a crumpled page,
inching their way to the shadows
squirming and humming, blurring into a pastey haze
the tick tocking incessantly faster as the wind blows
turning the pages of my book
charging onward to a pace that never seemingly slows
over my warping shoulder I cast a feverish look
it's all moving out of sync again
my hair for melted chocolate, for a second i mistook
it brought me back in state to 'round the age of ten
singing, romping, climbing trees
when boys weere boys and i not yet a woman
before, those boys and i, the day we would seize
royal conquests of the forest
dividing the land between skull rock and the swamp into territories
our world was torn down by corperate greed, much to our protest
and we spread in search of a new beginning
though now seperate,by childhoods sweet memories, we'll always be caressed
forward in time again to the search i'm still with, struggling
eyes still seeing things abstract
repeating phrases like 'all of moral life's spent sinning'
so many actions and impulses on which i could act
so many positions i could be taking
but truth be told I'd rather just sit, and laughing she threw her head back