in a valley with steep sides that are enclosing
so the extremes have been narrowing. & now i'm on a testing basis, which is kinda fun cause i don't really know what is coming next.
blyth by myself is so relaxing, so serene, and yet when i approach the people whom wave me over when i get there, they always seem to be surprised that i'm there by myself. with no previously made plans of people meeting me there, or being there to kick it with me. i find myself thinking, you don't always need company to feel fufilled, nor a companion attached to your side at every moments knotice. i feel a odd sence of entirety when i am by myself, or when i am with people but not having to be forced to have conversations all the time.
the other day i was with joseph after everyone had left to do their own things. the sun was approaching the horizon and i was trying to finish up my senior project speech which the progression on was temporarily stalled due to the fact of people coming to converse with me. i did not mind because the people who came were welcomed in their entierty, and all of them i was more than glad to stop and talk to. but after all of them left and the only remainders were joseph and i, he sat there and looked at me puzzled yet so knowing of what it was that i needed. he asked if i minded to have him read his book and i looked at him knowing that he knew i had to finish and told him that i'd be more than glad if he would just be next to me for the company, and yet have both of our minds be in completely opposite directions. it was just nice to that i did not have to hold a conversation when i knew i had other buisness to finish, and to know that other people have other obligations to do as well.
today i was people watching at bothell landing. i arrived there to find the parking lot blocked off and people gathering by the ampitheater. pondering what was going on yet really not caring as long as i had a table to sit at and finish what i came to do, i brought my pastel to a table and asked a grandmother and her neice if i could possibly share the table with them so i could work on my art. they so generously opened their table up for me and allowed me to sit while the little girl watched me asking me a continous 20 questions. quite some time after they left i sat there on the bench with random flocks of people coming over, sitting, making casual conversations, then leaving while a new flock would crowd in and repeat the process several minutes later. all in the time being, my opened back to the sun seemed to gradually yet quickly, due to the paleness of it, turn the shade of pink that my skin usually does when it warns me that i don't have a preventable sunburn lotion applied.
but while all the people came in, i was caught up in my doings of dougs pastel that i am finishing for him, and the conversations that i either wanted to ignore because it was just blabation(?) about people, or chip in a random line or two of rediculous sarcasm for the absurd conversation that was approaching. and when i wasn't focused on the pastel i was focused on the people beyond the table of people that were sitting with me. for my aquantiances are much more forgiving to not being my focus of attention than the events in other peoples lives that i do not know, and missing the random yet amazing circumstances that were happening in the background of the hang out area we were surrounding. i love seeing peoples unique reactions to everyday actions, or watching people knowing that they are in their own little world at the same time i am. or just soaking in the diversity of the world by only watching a few.
lately i feel like i cannot attain what happens to me during the day, or what happens to me doesn't cause for a idea of casual conversation. or maybe the people i'm just talking to can't grasp anything that makes me spark interest of something i feel large enough to tangent off of.
tangents are lovely hilarious random things.
blyth by myself is so relaxing, so serene, and yet when i approach the people whom wave me over when i get there, they always seem to be surprised that i'm there by myself. with no previously made plans of people meeting me there, or being there to kick it with me. i find myself thinking, you don't always need company to feel fufilled, nor a companion attached to your side at every moments knotice. i feel a odd sence of entirety when i am by myself, or when i am with people but not having to be forced to have conversations all the time.
the other day i was with joseph after everyone had left to do their own things. the sun was approaching the horizon and i was trying to finish up my senior project speech which the progression on was temporarily stalled due to the fact of people coming to converse with me. i did not mind because the people who came were welcomed in their entierty, and all of them i was more than glad to stop and talk to. but after all of them left and the only remainders were joseph and i, he sat there and looked at me puzzled yet so knowing of what it was that i needed. he asked if i minded to have him read his book and i looked at him knowing that he knew i had to finish and told him that i'd be more than glad if he would just be next to me for the company, and yet have both of our minds be in completely opposite directions. it was just nice to that i did not have to hold a conversation when i knew i had other buisness to finish, and to know that other people have other obligations to do as well.
today i was people watching at bothell landing. i arrived there to find the parking lot blocked off and people gathering by the ampitheater. pondering what was going on yet really not caring as long as i had a table to sit at and finish what i came to do, i brought my pastel to a table and asked a grandmother and her neice if i could possibly share the table with them so i could work on my art. they so generously opened their table up for me and allowed me to sit while the little girl watched me asking me a continous 20 questions. quite some time after they left i sat there on the bench with random flocks of people coming over, sitting, making casual conversations, then leaving while a new flock would crowd in and repeat the process several minutes later. all in the time being, my opened back to the sun seemed to gradually yet quickly, due to the paleness of it, turn the shade of pink that my skin usually does when it warns me that i don't have a preventable sunburn lotion applied.
but while all the people came in, i was caught up in my doings of dougs pastel that i am finishing for him, and the conversations that i either wanted to ignore because it was just blabation(?) about people, or chip in a random line or two of rediculous sarcasm for the absurd conversation that was approaching. and when i wasn't focused on the pastel i was focused on the people beyond the table of people that were sitting with me. for my aquantiances are much more forgiving to not being my focus of attention than the events in other peoples lives that i do not know, and missing the random yet amazing circumstances that were happening in the background of the hang out area we were surrounding. i love seeing peoples unique reactions to everyday actions, or watching people knowing that they are in their own little world at the same time i am. or just soaking in the diversity of the world by only watching a few.
lately i feel like i cannot attain what happens to me during the day, or what happens to me doesn't cause for a idea of casual conversation. or maybe the people i'm just talking to can't grasp anything that makes me spark interest of something i feel large enough to tangent off of.
tangents are lovely hilarious random things.