[Multi-chapter] What am i to you? ... Chapter 9 (Finale)
Title: What am I to you? …. Chapter 9 (Last chapter)
Pairing: RyoDa, JinDa, Ueda Tatsuya/OC
Rating: NC-17 for smut and death
Genre: Romance, drama, angst, smut, fluff
Length: 6828 words
Disclaimer: I love JE-boys but unless I can get one of them for Christmas this year, I don't own any of them.
Summary: For a long time Tatsuya had a pretty decent life. She was from a fairly rich family, had high expectations from her parents and high grades. But never a good enough reason to smile.... Until she met Ryo, a fierce delinquent and the ringleader of a high-school. Unlikely as it seemed they found each other and although Ryo always comes late for their dates, all beaten up, Tatsuya usually doesn't mind since she loves him so much.
But being the ringleader's girlfriend can sometimes be very dangerous, especially when challenging ringleaders find their opponent's lover very attractive.
Warnings: In this fic Tatsuya equals GIRL. So if you don't like it, don't read it. I also made Tatsuya a few years younger just to make the whole story more believable. *hihi*
Chapter warnings: Character's death! You have been warned.
A/N: This is a request-fic for Jindaluver <3 I hope you like it sweetheart!
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“Ryuuta! Please wait.” Tatsuya ran out of her room, trying to catch up with Ryuuta as he had stormed out of the room when she had told him about what had happened between her and Ryo. “Where are you going?” She called but Ryuuta just sped up and not before long he had reached the kitchen where Ryo was sitting, too nervous to do anything but bite his nails.
“You!” Ryo jumped up from the chair where he had been sitting, startled by the loud voice. “What the hell do you think you're doing?!”
Ryuuta grabbed a firm grip around Ryo's collar and pushed him against the wall, Ryo was too shocked to even fight him and Tatsuya was so surprised at Ryuuta's behavior she just stood there on the side watching as her boyfriend punched Ryo straight in the face.
“I told you to spend time with her and make up with her. I never told you to make out with her!”
Tatsuya was shaken out of her thoughts from his words and she looked at her boyfriend with questioning eyes.
“What are you talking about, Ryuuta?” Ryuuta turned around but Ryo was still pressed hard against the wall.
“Oh, come on, Tatsuya. I'm not an idiot! I've seen the way you look at him, and I see the hurt in your eyes whenever you speak of him. I wanted you to be happy and that's why I left the two of you alone thinking that if you became friends you would be happy again. Ryo was in on it but I made a condition that he would not make a move on you, but it seems like it was way too hard for him to keep.” Ryuuta turned back to the man against the wall, his eyes were dark and his voice was shaking. If it was from anger or unsheathed tears Tatsuya did not know but she still felt her conscience eating away at her.
After all the kiss hadn't been Ryo's fault, he was delirious from the fever and if truth be told Tatsuya was the one who had responded to the kiss so technically all this was really her fault.
“Ryuuta, please let him go. He couldn't help it, he had a fever and wasn't thinking straight.” She placed a hand on Ryuuta's shoulder, and feeling the tense muscles under the skin she shivered. She had never seen him like this before, so angry, so sad and so close to tears and she hated that she was the one who had caused him to be like that.
“Fine, do what you want. I don't care.” He let go of Ryo and with hurried steps he walked out of the house and it wasn't until he had reached the park a few blocks away that he finally tried to steady his far too hard breathing and the pain in his chest wasn't helping to calm him down.
Slowly he slumped down on a bench, his heart beating so hard he thought it would break, and rested his head against his hands, looking up at the sky above him.
“Maybe someday has come sooner than I expected.”
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Tatsuya sat down in the kitchen with a sigh, it was almost 1 am already but she just couldn't find enough peace to go to sleep. She rested her head in her hands, her eyes stung from the lack of sleep and yet she couldn't bear to sleep. The hurt look in Ryuuta's eyes was there every time she closed them and she didn't understand how she could have been that stupid!
She loved Ryuuta, she really did and yet he had acted so strange lately that she had forgotten that. And Ryo acted just like Ryuuta had in the beginning, he was sweet and gentle and for the first time in a long she felt like she actually meant something to him.
No, she couldn't do this any longer. She had to decide what to think and who to like.
Tatsuya stood up and went up to the master bathroom, she needed a hot shower to get her head straight. That... and maybe some alcohol to calm her nerves.
She wasn't one for drinking, not to mention that she wasn't even allowed by law to consume alcoholic beverages, but in times like this Tatsuya felt like she could be allowed to have a drink.
The warm water that dripped off her body helped her poor muscles to relax but along with relaxation came the tears. The cold salty beads mixed instantly with the hot water but the tight feeling in her chest wouldn't stop. The feeling she always got when something serious had happened and even if she might act like a drama-queen she really felt like a part of her was dying, slowly slipping away from her.
Realizing that the shower wasn't helping, she sighed and turned the water off, reaching for the towel beside the shower but catching a hand instead. Surprised she jerked her hand back and pulled the shower curtain aside just a little, catching a glimpse of Ryo standing there, his eyes averted but his body turned to you, his body relaxed in an eerie way that you have never seen before. He throws a quick glance at her direction still not aware that she is looking at him and the look in his eyes makes her shiver. He looks so sad, like a bird that has lost its ability to fly, its freedom, like every trouble of the world was resting on his shoulders.
Tatsuya took a nervous breath and reached her hand out again, not grabbing the towel but grabbing his hand. He jerks a little but makes no effort to pull his cold hand away from her warm, just allows himself to let her hold his hand not sure if he's comforting her or if it's the other way around.
They stood like that for a while, neither of them knew for how long but it didn't matter. Tatsuya's tears were falling behind the dark shower curtain and even if Ryo wasn't crying she could feel his hand shaking.
The darkness of the room seemed to numb their bottled-up feelings a little but the warmth of the other's hand made both of their hearts quiver.
Once Ryo felt that Tatsuya started shaking as well, obviously from being cold and wet for too long, he stroked his thumb over her now cold hand before letting go of it, taking the towel and gave it too her mumbling the words “I'll wait downstairs.”. Seconds later he had left the bathroom and Tatsuya was finally able to breath normally again. Even though she loved Ryuuta she was still this affected by Ryo's touch, she couldn't do anything but to hate herself for it. Hate herself for not being able to let go, hate herself for falling back onto him... She was so confused her head was spinning round and round and no matter how much she tried to close out those invasive thoughts they just came back and it was killing her.
Several minutes later she walked into the kitchen, wearing a bathrobe over her pajamas, past Ryo who was sitting on the counter obviously waiting for her to come down, and over to the liquor-cabinet that her dad always made sure to fill up when he was home.
She pulled out a bottle of whiskey, got two glasses from the cupboard and walked up to Ryo, handing him the glass as she was standing in front of him.
She wasn't going to ask him why he was there, she already knew even if he hadn't said anything and the least she could do was to be a good host and let him join her in her drinking.
He held out his glass under silence as Tatsuya poured him the alcohol and once she had filled it halfway he brought it to his lips, letting the strong fluid run down his throat with an emotionless expression on his face.
Tatsuya did the same but made a small face as she was not used to the whiskey, she didn't complain though and the two of them continued drinking under silence until they were both pretty drunk.
“Tatsuya...” Ryo moved closer to her, thus backing her up against the counter. Tatsuya could feel the alcohol on his breath but then again it was probably mixed with her own so why did she care about that? “I'm sorry about what happened with Ryuuta.” His fingers wrapped around her wrist slowly pulling himself closer.
“No, you're not.” Tatsuya breathed, her heart beating at a frightening rate as he pressed their bodies close. But she didn't push him away, the thought didn't even cross her mind so the alcohol must have taken its toll on her judgment.
“You're right.” He leaned closer, lips almost touching hers. “...I'm not.” Slowly his lips found hers.
Every decent though that currently possessed Tatsuya's pretty head flew away, leaving her with a mind where there was no tomorrow, no bad conscience and no one named Akiyama Ryuuta.
Gradually the kiss went from slow and somewhat hesitant to rough and fierce, their hands rushing under their clothes to rediscover the other's body. Skin against skin, lips against lips, emotions they weren't sure were good or not but so strong they had to obey them.
With a swift move Ryo pulled off Tatsuya's robe leaving her with only a tanktop and a pair of old sweatpants. He looked at her petite frame and smiled, for so long he had wanted to see it again, for so long had he wanted to touch her again yet not being able to.
He pulled her close again, his hand already moving to remove her pants and pressing herself to him she allowed him to discard them even though that left her standing there in front of him in only a top and underwear.
She traced her fingers under his T-shirt over his well-toned abs, tingling with the feeling of his warm skin once again under her hands, she pulled the shirt off and proceeded with kissing him hard.
Suddenly Tatsuya's phone started ringing, they both ignored it continuing kissing each other, slowly making their way into the livingroom as they both remembered the heavenly carpet in there.
The phone continued ringing for a while but neither of them had any thought of leaving the other behind to answer the call. The kisses were sometimes interrupted by moans as all of their clothes were making their way onto the floor, sloppy kisses on their warm skin made both of them shiver with delight and hands traveling over their bodies made them both choke in pleasure.
“Ryo...” Tatsuya moaned when his kisses traveled over her bellybutton and continued down. She felt how Ryo smirked against her skin and although she should be angry about him being such a tease she couldn't help but moan louder at his advances.
“TATSUYA!!” Both of them stopped what they were doing. Whoever was calling the girl's name was standing outside the door banging it wildly.
“Who is it?” Tatsuya called back, praying to whatever God there was that it wasn't Ryuuta at the door. But when the person answered her blood that was pumping so hard underneath her skin turned to ice.
“IT'S DAIKI! LET ME IN!” He was screaming at the top of his lungs and Tatsuya looked at Ryo with terrified eyes. Ryo quickly go the point, gathered his clothes and ran upstairs, hiding in Tatsuya's room. He knew Daiki from a long time ago and he knew that if he caught him here making out with his brother's girlfriend Ryo would be deader than dead so this time he actually preferred flight over fight.
Tatsuya hid her clothes under the couch but quickly pulled the robe over her naked body, trying to make it look like she had just woken up.
She walked over to the door, trying to cool her red face along the way but it didn't help one bit. Before she opened the door she took a deep breath, trying to clear her head of all the thoughts about Ryo and what would happen if Daiki caught him there with her.
“Daiki. What's going on?” Tatsuya asked and let him in but he started screaming at her the moment he entered the house.
“Why didn't you answer your phone?! I called you like ten minutes ago and you wouldn't pick up!” He looked furious and for the first time Tatsuya actually felt afraid of him.
“I... I was asleep... What's going on, Daiki?” She asked, he was not acting like normal. He was panting, he was sweating and the look in his eyes wasn't angry.... It was sad.
“You have to come to the hospital with me.” He panted, seeming like he was calming himself down.
“Why?” Tatsuya asked but she was afraid to hear the answer.
“It's Ryuuta. His heart condition has gotten worse the last few months and he collapsed earlier today.”
Tatsuya didn't know what to say, she just stood there too shocked to move. Ryuuta had a heart condition? Since when? Why hadn't he told her? And what did Daiki mean that it had gotten worse these last few months?
“If you wanna see him when he comes out of surgery we'd better hurry.” Daiki shook her shoulders a little to get her to wake up and it appeared to work as she nodded.
“I'll be back in five minutes.” She ran up the stairs and into her room to get dressed. Ryo was sitting on the bed wrapped up in the covers trying not to get too cold. He looked at her with questioning eyes when she ran past him and started to rip out some of the clothes in the closet.
“Ryuuta is in the hospital. He's in surgery right now but I will go and wait until he wakes up.” She quickly stepped into her underwear and jeans before pulling the bra and the top down over her head.
“You don't have to go.” Ryo caught her hand in his and looked her in the eyes.
Tatsuya looked down on the hand holding hers then at the man holding it and with a quick move she tore her arm away from his hold.
“Yes, I do.” She glared at him and exited the room, two minutes later she was sitting in the car next to Daiki, heading for the hospital.
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“Tatsuya!” Rumi ran up to her and hugged her hard with the tears running down her face, her eyes were red indicating to Tatsuya that she had been crying for quite a while. “Ryuuta.. He....” She sobbed and couldn't form a full sentence but Tatsuya just hugged her, feeling that even though she had so many questions that she wanted answered Rumi needed her so she pushed the lump in her throat aside and stroked the young girl's hair, telling her that Ryuuta was definitely going to be alright.
“Do you know anything?” She asked Sou when she sat down next to him with Rumi asleep in her lap, exhausted from crying for so long.
“No. A cop found him wobbling around in a park and when he tried to talk to him he collapsed.” Sousuke said, a tear appearing in the corner of his eye but he quickly wiped it away before it could fall.
“I see...” Tatsuya leaned back still caressing Rumi's hair as it gave her something to do in order to keep her worry in check. Ryuuta had to be alright, he just had to be. Right now only he was on her mind, Ryo was completely forgotten and as unfair it might have seemed after all she had done Ryuuta was the one she loved. They were the ones meant for each other, she understood that now that she was on the brink of losing him. Once he was alright she would tell Ryo the truth, she would do anything it took to get over him, she would go to the other side of the world if she needed to. As long as she could be with Ryuuta she would be happy, she knew that but all she could do right now was to hope and pray that he was able to pull through.
Ichirou, the oldest of the siblings, walked up to his dad with two cups in his hands. His entire persona was calm but Tatsuya knew that he as the oldest brother had to be strong for his family, as long as she had known the Akiyama's Ichirou had been the responsible one, the one that was always mature enough to deal with anything no matter what it was.
“I brought you some coffee.” Ichirou reached one of the cups to his dad but the old man wouldn't accept it.
“I don't drink coffee that comes from a hospital's machine, it tastes like death.” The old man looked out the window again, the sad yet determined look back in his eyes.
Ichirou sighed but didn't coax his father, he knew that it reminded him of the time that his wife, their mother, had passed away so he walked up to where his siblings were sitting and stood next to them, leaning against the wall while sipping his own coffee.
“Ichirou.” The older man turned his head to Tatsuya with a calm look in his eyes. “Has Ryuuta always been sick?”
Ichirou looked at her for a few seconds without saying anything but then sighed and took another sip from the coffee before answering her.
“Yes, among all of us he's the only one that has our mother's weak heart. When he was born the doctors gave him less than five years to live but although we've had some close calls he's still with us. But just before you came into the picture his health started dropping, dad wanted to take him out of school until he gets well again but Ryuuta wouldn't have that. So in order for him to stay in school dad has pretty much ordered him not to participate in any training anymore just to make sure he doesn't push his heart too much. But apparently it hasn't helped.” Ichirou stopped to take another sip from his coffee. He didn't appear to find it hard to speak of his brother's illness like this but below the surface Tatsuya was sure things weren't that easy. “You know when you hurt your hand and he got Ryo to help you?”
Tatsuya nodded.
“Ryuuta has been going here since he was born so the reason he wouldn't go with you was because he didn't want you to worry about why the staff recognized him.”
Tatsuya let her mind travel back to that time, the time when Ryuuta had told Ryo to escort her to the hospital. All of a sudden things seemed to make sense but the chock of hearing about this just now was a little more than she thought she could handle.
“And when he canceled his trip with you it was because he had to stay the night at the hospital for observation. But he felt so bad about sending you there alone that he at the last minute asked Ryo to take his place, hoping that you might have a good time together. So don't hold that against him, letting you two be together so much. He just wants you to be happy even if I have to agree that his way of doing it is a little strange.” Ichirou chuckled a little when he looked at her but noticed the tears falling from her eyes.
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying like this...” He crouched down next to her, reached out a hand and ruffled her hair thus interrupting her.
“It's okay to be upset, Tatsuya. I may not feel what you do right now but I can imagine the chock from hearing about his illness for the first time today.” He smiled at her and reached up to wipe her tears. Despite the fact that she and Ryuuta hadn't been together for too long Ichirou still counted her as his sister and even if he was worried sick about his little brother right now he had to keep his family together and that family included Tatsuya.
Suddenly the doors to the operating-room opened and Ryuuta was rolled out on a hospital-bed, unconscious and pale and with various tubes connected to his body. Ichirou grabbed Rumi who was still in Tatsuya's arms so that she could run up to her boyfriend's side along with the rest of the family. He was just happy to see that Ryuuta's chest was moving up and down even if his breathing at the moment was shallow and there was a smile on his face as he bowed his head to the doctors coming out from surgery.
“Akiyama Ryuuta I suppose.” One of the doctors came towards them, nodding politely back at the oldest son that was bowing at him.
“Yes. I'm his father.” The old man turned to the doctor with worried eyes. Was the prognoses going to be good or worse?
“Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news. I don't know what Ryuuta has told you about the last time he was here but all the tests that we performed showed that his heart is starting to shut down. We don't know what has caused it or why it's happening now but one thing is sure and that is that Ryuuta only has about a week left. At best.” The doctor said, his voice low as if that would help them to handle the news better.
“You... you can't be serious.” Daiki looked at the doctor, desperately hoping that he would say that he was just joking, that Ryuuta was as good as new.
“I'm sorry to say that I am. I'm terribly sorry, Akiyama-san.” The doctor turned to the father of the family but the old man said nothing. He just looked at the doctor, too chocked to do anything.
“You're lying!! My brother can't be dying!!!” Sou threw himself at the doctor, pulling the latter's collar thus almost choking the doctor.
“Sou! Get a hold of yourself, it's not his fault.” Ichirou called to his little brother, careful not to wake up Rumi who was still sleeping in his arms.
“Can we see him?” All eyes were turned to Tatsuya who's voice was nothing but pure calm, even Ichirou seemed like a nervewreck compared to him.
“Of course, he's still sedated but you can stay with him until he wakes up. But just one person at a time since we don't want any unnecessary strain on his heart, even if he is asleep.” The doctor said and gave them the number of the room that Ryuuta had been assigned.
It was a long-stay room which all in its self was a reminder that Ryuuta would probably not get out of the hospital alive.
Tatsuya let the other's go in first, after all they were his family and she was just his girlfriend, but strangely enough she wasn't feeling agitated or upset. She didn't feel anything at all, just cold and empty inside, she hadn't even reacted when the doctor had told them the news. She must be the worst kind of person and girlfriend for not crying in a situation like this.
She sat there on one of the chairs outside the room, the only one who was able to sit perfectly still without doing anything to distract herself with. Right now Sou was inside with Ryuuta, all of the others had been inside apart from Tatsuya but still the others couldn't help but to move around or cry.
Ichirou was crying, silently, but he was definitely crying. Old man Hiroshi was pacing the room probably because he didn't know what to do anymore. Rumi was still sleeping, seeing as it was already past 3 am and her previous crying had totally drained her. She had been put down in one of the chairs and being as small as she was she was able to lay comfortably in it.
“Tatsuya.” Sou came through the door, the tears running down his face. All of them looked up at him even though he had only called Tatsuya's name. “He's asking for you.” Was all he said making Tatsuya stand up, a small spark of hope igniting in her chest.
“He's awake?” Sou nodded and opened the door for her although he didn't look at her.
“Tatsuya?” The weak voice coming from the bed hurt Tatsuya more than humanly possible but she still walked over to him, steps somewhat insecure and breath hitching at how much paler he looked in the lighting of the room.
“Yeah. I'm here.” She sat down next to him with a small smile. She didn't understand how she could do it in the emotionless condition that she was currently in.
“I'm... sorry about before.” Every word seemed to exhaust him but still he spoke.
“Just focus on getting better. Once you get out of here then we can discuss what happened.”
Ryuuta looked at her with tired eyes for a few seconds then sighed. He slowly moved his hand to grasp hers, it was so cold Tatsuya couldn't help but to jerk a little as he touched her. The cold frightened her and no matter how much she wanted things to be alright there was nothing she could do to make things alright again. There was nothing that she could do.
“Tatsuya...” Ryuuta took a deep breath as if his lungs had been emptied just by uttering her name. “I won't get out of here, I think we both know that by now. Ichi told me he explained to you about me and my... condition.”
Tatsuya nodded but kept her silence as she wasn't sure about what to say.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it but I just for once wanted to live a normal life, even if it was just a facade.”
“Don't worry about that, I'm just sad that I couldn't be of any help in this. I'm just disappointed in myself for not being able to see the pain that you have gone through.”
Ryuuta squeezed her hand as much as he could to let her know that she shouldn't be that hard on herself but he soon realized that she could hardly feel the difference.
He felt the heavy feeling come back in his chest but he wasn't going to give up just yet, there was still one thing he had left to do.
“Tatsuya... Could you do me a favor?” He asked even though his voice came out as only a low whisper.
“Of course.” She leaned closer in order not to miss it but she was surprised at his request.
“Get Rumi in here. I have to talk to her before I fall asleep again.” He smiled at her, thus successfully covering up the pain that he was in despite the many painkillers in his body.
“Oh, okay.” Tatsuya leaned in and kissed his pale lips and was about to walk out the door when she heard a whisper from the bed.
“I love you, Tatsuya. Don't ever forget that.”
She smiled and looked back at him.
“I love you too, Ryuuta. And I never will forget that or you.” She closed the door behind her only to leave him alone in the room for about a minute.
Then the door was opened and a tired Rumi walked up to him, rubbing the sleep and tears from her eyes with one of her hands. Ryuuta softly patted the empty space beside him on the bed and a moment later she was sitting next to her brother who was getting paler by the minute.
“Rumi, can I ask you for a favor?” Rumi nodded and Ryuuta continued with a weak voice. “At home, on my desk, there are two envelopes. There are two names written on those envelopes, I want you to give the letter to the person with that name. Can you do that for me?” Ryuuta felt a lump in his throat when he looked into the innocent eyes of his little sister, although he had known about this for a long time he still didn't feel ready to leave them all behind.
“Why don't you just do it yourself when you come home?” Rumi's eyes were filled with tears, she had known about Ryuuta's illness for a long time but she still didn't want to believe that it was actually going to win against her strong brother.
“Because nii-chan isn't coming home. Nii-chan is going away, he's going to visit mama in heaven.” He hated to have to tell her this but he needed to, it was his duty as her older brother and best friend.
“Visit mama? But are you going to stay with her in heaven?” Rumi asked with the tears running down her face. Ryuuta sat up, slowly trying not to push himself too much, and hugged his baby sister for the last time.
“Yes, so it's now your job to look after everyone. Make sure that everyone are going to move on with their lives. Will you do that for me?” He let go of her and raised his pinky to her. She nodded with a smile even though the tears were still running down her face and she grabbed his pinky.
“Um.” She let go and hugged him again. “I love you nii-chan.” She whispered. “And please tell mama I love her too.”
Ryuuta let a single tear fall with a tired smile.
“I promise.... But will you help me with the letters? I need to go to where mom is now but remember that whatever happens you must give those people the letters.” Ryuuta laid back down again, he could feel his heartbeat slow down and even though it still hurt he was starting to feel numb.
“I promise.” Rumi jumped off the bed and walked out of the room, painfully aware of that once she left that room there would be no going back.
Ryuuta took a breath as deep as he could, the numbness was starting to spread up to his chest and tiredly he closed his eyes. As frightened as he was he was ready to leave, he had said goodbye to the people he loved, he had done what he needed to do. Now all he had to do was let that last breath leave his body, let his entire body grow cold and numb, let everything go.
As if looking through smoke he saw a face coming towards him, it was that of a woman and she was slowly floating towards him. Her long hair was floating behind her and the smile on her face warmed him up, he knew that smile even though it had been almost five years since he had seen it.
“Ryuuta.” His mother reached out her hand towards him. Her skin was as fair as he remembered and there was this bright light surrounding her but he wasn't scared. He felt warm and comfortable, like he was finally home after a long, long journey.
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The funeral took place a few days later. Tatsuya still hadn't been able to feel anything, she hadn't been able to cry at all despite the fact that Ryuuta was gone forever. She was still completely numb and no one had so far been able to help her back to her normal sensitive self.
After the service was done Tatsuya was getting ready to go home. She slowly pulled on the long gray coat not caring if she took too long in the hallway of the house. The black dress that she was wearing made her skin seem white but in a eerie way it looked good on her, her face was wearing some carefully chosen make-up and on her feet there was a pair of high-heeled boots. All in all she looked like she was just a girl who really liked black but the emotionless expression that she was showing ruined that image.
She was just about to walk out the door when Rumi came running up to her with an envelope in her hands. The little girl was also wearing a black dress but on her face there was a smile that Tatsuya couldn't understand how it looked happy.
“Tatsuya. Ryuuta-nii wanted you to have this.” She reached out the envelope to her and Tatsuya took it with slightly raised eyebrows.
“Ryuuta?”
“Um.” Rumi nodded and hugged the older girl before running back to her brothers side doing all in her power to cheer them up again. She missed Ryuuta as much as everyone else, probably more, but she had promised her brother that she would take care of their family and Rumi was not about to break that promise just because she was sad.
Tatsuya looked at the envelope in her hands, her name was written on it but she wasn't going to read it there. Slowly she placed it in her coat-pocket, bid the family farewell and made her way home.
Once home she walked into the livingroom, sat down on the couch and opened the envelope, in it was a letter addressed to her as well. She unfolded the paper and started to read what was written in Ryuuta's writing.
“Dear Tatsuya.
I never wanted for you to have to read this but since you are I can only assume that I have left this world. I have behaved very oddly these last few weeks and I can only say that I'm sorry that I made you feel insecure.
The truth is that I have kept something else from you, besides me heart condition. I have been hoping for you and Ryo to be friends again, but seeing as what happened during your vacation I can only assume that my plan failed.” Tatsuya took a deep breath and cleared her throat before continuing to read.
“I have seen the way that you look at him and even though I know you love me you also love him, whether you want to or not. The first time I talked to Ryo I asked him if he still loved you. He was quiet for about a second then he looked me in the eyes with such determination and answered 'Yes, I am. And I always will.' I have never seen such eyes and I realized that against him I was lucky if I managed to be with you for about a month.
And the main reason for me talking to him back then was because I knew that I didn't have a lot of time left with you, and I want nothing to happen to you once I'm gone so I asked him to hold onto his feelings until the time was right.”
The first tear fell from Tatsuya's eyes and then they just started flowing down her cheeks one by one until she was sobbing.
“He really loves you, Tatsuya , and I know that you love him too. I might be dying but I'm not blind. It's my last wish that you are kept safe by the person you love and I truly hope that you won't hate me for plotting this. Because I love you and nothing can change that, not even death.
Yours forever / Ryuuta.”
Tatsuya tried to wipe her tears away but they just kept falling. Once she tarted she couldn't stop, she missed him so much! She wanted him by her side, wanted him to hold her like before, hug her from behind and kiss her neck as he did. She just wanted to curl up on the couch with him once more, feel his warmth against her skin and kiss those lips one more time... Just one more time.
“Tatsuya.” She looked up with teary eyes. On any normal day she would get angry at him for entering her home without permission but today was definitely not a normal day.
Ryo sat down next to her and placed an arm around her trying to calm her down if just a little.
“You've read the letter?” He asked and Tatsuya nodded with the tears still running down her face. “Me too. The little sister came looking for me yesterday and gave it to me.” He pressed a kiss to her head while caressing her hair.
“So what... do we do now?” Tatsuya sobbed and looked up at Ryo with eyes screaming for an answer.
“Well, if it was up to me I'd let it take the time it takes to let your feelings calm down. You are in no condition to make a decision right now but just know that whenever you decide it I will be there and even if you don't want me as your lover I will always be your friend.” Ryo smiled at her, a calm smile that seemed to relax her a little.
“Thank you, Ryo.” She breathed and rested her head against his shoulder. Whatever decision she was going to make she was going to do it with a clear conscience and with no regrets.
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Three years later
“Ryo! Wait up, will you?” The girl ran up to her boyfriend's side with a bouquet of flowers in her arms.
“Well, if you weren't such a slowpoke then I might have waited.” Ryo stuck his tongue out then grabbed the flowers from his lover even though Tatsuya protested. “You shouldn't be carrying anything in your condition so just let me carry them.” Ryo said and looked with firm eyes at her big belly.
“Ryo, it's not a sickness. It's a pregnancy and if you were really that worried about me you should have waited.” Tatsuya said matter-of-factly causing her boyfriend to sneak an arm around her waist.
“Sorry, Hime. I just don't want anything to happen to him.” He kissed her cheek making her chuckle.
“Did you hear that, Ryuuta?” She brought a hand to her belly feeling the kicks better as she did. “Daddy is being a worrywart again.”
“Oi! Don't you call me a worrywart, Princess.” Ryo kissed her again, this time on the lips.
“Ryuuta. I'm sorry we missed the others, we should have come sooner but you know how it is.” Tatsuya smiled at the stone in front of her as she placed the flowers at its foot. Ryo was standing next to her, a smile on his lips as well as he was paying his respects for the man that he owed his happiness to.
“We wanted you to meet your uncle, Ryuuta-kun. His name was the same as yours, cool isn't it?” Ryo said, once again with that childish grin on his face.
Tatsuya turned to the tombstone again with a laugh she kneeled down next to it and let her fingers touch the cold stone.
“It was Ryo's idea to use your name, I hope you don't mind.” A warm wind blew past them and the couple found themselves with smiles on their faces.
“We didn't think you would either.” Ryo laughed and held Tatsuya close.
He really owed this man everything, he had gotten his life back because of him and he was going to cherish it for a long time, as long as he still had a breath left in his body.
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The end!
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A/N: There Minna-san! I'm terribly sorry I'm a day late with this but I hope you will forgive me! *hides from the rotten tomatoes* This is the last chapter of What am I to you? And I really hope you enjoyed it! Lord knows I did :P
This is also a delayed birthday-present for my darling Chanjuu!! I'm so sorry for being late with it but I really hope you will consider this a good make-up-present ;) Love you so much! <3
Thank you all for reading, liking and commenting on this! It has helped me so many times and I really hope you will continue to support me in the future ;)