Time to Say Good-bye
you know the feeling of wanting to hang out with someone specific, just one person who you know will complete you while you're together (even though it's just hanging out), but you don't have that specific person anymore? you just have the memory of the person who used to be that for you? music has become that person for me. music is the one thing i can rely on to be there, to be just what i need at that moment. music is my soulmate. what kind of sign is that?
i trust no one. i only write honestly in this because i never have to face anyone who reads it. i don't have to see the facial expressions, hear the signs and murmurs, read the thoughts. i can write this, get it off my chest publically, and call myself brave for doing it. all along ignoring the simple fact that once again i am not doing anything important because without direction, words are nothing.
my friends from back in the day, before i knew how to hide myself, know me as a passionate, expressive, life loving individual, or at least that's what i'm told i was. those who know me now see me as a pensive, brooding, often moody individual who would rather watch than participate. of all the things i fear, displaying myself is at the top of my list. i'll sing someone else's songs and breathe life into someone else's words, but i will not give anyone my own. this stupid journal doesn't even come close. this is just the easiest method of venting.
good-bye all, past and present.
i trust no one. i only write honestly in this because i never have to face anyone who reads it. i don't have to see the facial expressions, hear the signs and murmurs, read the thoughts. i can write this, get it off my chest publically, and call myself brave for doing it. all along ignoring the simple fact that once again i am not doing anything important because without direction, words are nothing.
my friends from back in the day, before i knew how to hide myself, know me as a passionate, expressive, life loving individual, or at least that's what i'm told i was. those who know me now see me as a pensive, brooding, often moody individual who would rather watch than participate. of all the things i fear, displaying myself is at the top of my list. i'll sing someone else's songs and breathe life into someone else's words, but i will not give anyone my own. this stupid journal doesn't even come close. this is just the easiest method of venting.
good-bye all, past and present.