Time for a little game of catch up?
It's odd I can't stand writing when my dream profession is to be a writer. In fact, that's what I'm going to school for. I don't see the point when I haven't established rapport with livejournal nor my friends as being a regular poster. But, I was curious today, and I started reading Sarah's entries. It's something I haven't done in a long while. But I was checking out myspace and saw she had some new pictures up. She looked fantastic, and I just kind of sat there staring at the pictures. It's funny what a face can bring up. My mind was slowly working over her eyes, her lips, her hair, even her eyebrows. But I wasn't looking at her face, it was like I was looking at a mirror and in it were images swirling about of memories. Some we actually created, and some my mind created through dreams. And although not tangible, I could feel her face, and the emotions I experienced while looking at it. Which makes me post the question, if something is said to be intangible yet you can feel it, is that a paradox? Anyway, as I was saying, I was looking at the pictures of her smiling, and I held my hand up and covered her smile. I just stared into her eyes. I realized that her smile was a not a Duchenne smile. It was a voluntary smile. Facial expressions provide a kind of 'truth in advertising.' That is, your expression reflects you internal state. So what was her internal state? Was there a bias on my part for what I was feeling for her? Or was she sincerely feeling how I saw she was?
Studies have been done on happiness. I was reading a while back about a case where 2,000 twins were studied on rating of happiness. In almost every case, both twins were happy, both were neutral, or both were unhappy. Some people tend to be gloomy and others tend to be cheerful, and most events shift the level of happiness only briefly. In other words, how happy someone is now is a pretty good predictor of how happy you will be in the future. A few major events are exceptions, however. (Death, loss of job, divorce, etc.) So now my point; Sarah was always happy when I saw her. Every time my eyes actually met her living eyes, she was happy. I've seen her unhappy, but it was always something that would shift her temporarily. So what does it mean? I just want to ask, is everything ok, Sarah? I guess I could have asked that right off at the start.
Seeing her made me want to write, since I can't really talk to anyone vocally.
Ok, first, I'm at the end of my second semester in Santa Monica College. Next year I'll probably transfer to USC or UCLA. There's a really good program for Vets at USC (full-ride) so I might take advantage of that.
My best friend, Peter, got married to a girl named Mediha. She's a girl he met in college, and has been dating for a few years. I'm really happy for him, and I hope he's doing well. The wedding was quite and adventure...wow...from hell. But I'm glad he's married. Kind of.
I went back to Ohio and saw A LOT of people that I had known growing up. It's almost like every time I leave Newark and then come back, nothing has changed. The people that were older than me growing up, their roles are now filled by people of my generation. So it creates this odd type of time-lapse, where nothing changes. People are still there, still crawling around in the same mud, still watching the same clouds. It was really good for me to go home. I can't run from it, but I can hold the thought in my head that as long as I keep looking for what I want out of life, I won't stagnate. Not saying that what people don't want is what they have, just saying it's not for me. (ramblin' man)
I started surfing, and I do it several times a week. It's actually one of the best things I have ever done in my life. I like watching the sun come up. I like the solitude of being out on the water. I like just floating. I love the thrill of dropping in front of a wave and being completely at its mercy. I find a fragile relationship building stronger the more time I spend at the extreme mercy of the ocean. I submit. The power of the ocean moves me. The sheer subtle strength in a wave is over whelming, and once in a while it will permit me to ride it. That feeling is euphoric.
I went to Australia. I had the most amazing time. I can't even begin to start how incredible of a country it is. Wow. I'm so overwhelmed with how great it is I can't even begin to know what to talk about. I flew to Auckland, New Zealand, then to Melbourne. I spent most of my time there. I also went to Sydney. I have loads more to say but I have to get back to work. Until next time.
Studies have been done on happiness. I was reading a while back about a case where 2,000 twins were studied on rating of happiness. In almost every case, both twins were happy, both were neutral, or both were unhappy. Some people tend to be gloomy and others tend to be cheerful, and most events shift the level of happiness only briefly. In other words, how happy someone is now is a pretty good predictor of how happy you will be in the future. A few major events are exceptions, however. (Death, loss of job, divorce, etc.) So now my point; Sarah was always happy when I saw her. Every time my eyes actually met her living eyes, she was happy. I've seen her unhappy, but it was always something that would shift her temporarily. So what does it mean? I just want to ask, is everything ok, Sarah? I guess I could have asked that right off at the start.
Seeing her made me want to write, since I can't really talk to anyone vocally.
Ok, first, I'm at the end of my second semester in Santa Monica College. Next year I'll probably transfer to USC or UCLA. There's a really good program for Vets at USC (full-ride) so I might take advantage of that.
My best friend, Peter, got married to a girl named Mediha. She's a girl he met in college, and has been dating for a few years. I'm really happy for him, and I hope he's doing well. The wedding was quite and adventure...wow...from hell. But I'm glad he's married. Kind of.
I went back to Ohio and saw A LOT of people that I had known growing up. It's almost like every time I leave Newark and then come back, nothing has changed. The people that were older than me growing up, their roles are now filled by people of my generation. So it creates this odd type of time-lapse, where nothing changes. People are still there, still crawling around in the same mud, still watching the same clouds. It was really good for me to go home. I can't run from it, but I can hold the thought in my head that as long as I keep looking for what I want out of life, I won't stagnate. Not saying that what people don't want is what they have, just saying it's not for me. (ramblin' man)
I started surfing, and I do it several times a week. It's actually one of the best things I have ever done in my life. I like watching the sun come up. I like the solitude of being out on the water. I like just floating. I love the thrill of dropping in front of a wave and being completely at its mercy. I find a fragile relationship building stronger the more time I spend at the extreme mercy of the ocean. I submit. The power of the ocean moves me. The sheer subtle strength in a wave is over whelming, and once in a while it will permit me to ride it. That feeling is euphoric.
I went to Australia. I had the most amazing time. I can't even begin to start how incredible of a country it is. Wow. I'm so overwhelmed with how great it is I can't even begin to know what to talk about. I flew to Auckland, New Zealand, then to Melbourne. I spent most of my time there. I also went to Sydney. I have loads more to say but I have to get back to work. Until next time.