(no subject)

[ralphmcnutt]

you know the last person in the world i thought i would ever have been able to trust would have been my mom 10 years ago. these days she is the only person who hasn't done something that hurt me. girls have hurt me, all other family has hurt me, friends have hurt me, and strangers. my mom was not the woman you see in the fabric softener commercials or the one yelling louder then the fathers from the bleachers. yet she can be who she is now without allowing regret or frustration with me to change the fact she loves me. thats the realist thing in the world.

i talked to her the other nite for the first time since christmas. i have been here all this time and the only two times i talked to her was once on the phone for like 5 on christmas, and yesterday. the only reason i can be so happy is because i can pick up my pieces and go back home. i found as article on my grandfather i never met the other day, so i may be able to pick up pieces i never had even. ints: father, other sisters, other cousins, and now 2 dead grandmothers and a grandfather.

virginia pros:
the trees/woods
the hills
the brilliant clouds
the fat rain/thins mists
the prickly grass
the trains
the old houses
the wildlife
the people

cons:
the laws
the cops
the schools
the tornadoes
the internet
the malls
the club/music scene
the uninhabitedness

i need a motorcycle, point A to B thats all thats important. i dont need to bring a crew everywhere or move mountains.