In pursuit of perfection
I had a bit of an epiphany this evening. Or an epiphery according to Michael Scott.
I don't have to be perfect. Bear with me here.
I waste so much of my time and energy trying to achieve perfection. See I'm often lonely, partly due to the fact that I spend most to all of my time with people who are either half or twice my age. I don't have a whole lot of friends that I see on any sort of regular basis. So I try to be smart, funny, good at everything--or at least something--in an attempt to get people I do see to like me.
But it doesn't work. Know why? Because I am impatiently trying to do it all myself. My thought process goes something like this: I am lonely, I need friends, I will find friends, I will make them like me, I will no longer be lonely. I win. But I am wrong.
Tonight I was thinking about the song Everlasting God. Some of the words say, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." This has never made much sense to me. I always thought of waiting on the Lord as a test of my patience. And I suppose it is; we need patience in order to wait upon the Lord. But the reason for the waiting isn't just to test our patience.
Strength will rise. When we wait for God's timing, for God's plan, he gives us strength. He gives us the fortitude to last until the season of waiting ends. This may seem obvious to you, but it was not to me.
I am in the midst of a season of solitude, but I have been trying to power through it on my own. I am so caught up in my own loneliness, that I have missed out on so many blessings that God has for me. My family. My job. My coworkers. My students. My home. My country.
My God.
No one is perfect, least of all me. I need his grace to make me whole. That's what makes it all the more beautiful. Perfect.
And then God decided to use my best friend to bless me even more. He told her exactly what I battle every day. She knows. And I don't have to be perfect anymore.
I don't feel so lonely tonight.
I don't have to be perfect. Bear with me here.
I waste so much of my time and energy trying to achieve perfection. See I'm often lonely, partly due to the fact that I spend most to all of my time with people who are either half or twice my age. I don't have a whole lot of friends that I see on any sort of regular basis. So I try to be smart, funny, good at everything--or at least something--in an attempt to get people I do see to like me.
But it doesn't work. Know why? Because I am impatiently trying to do it all myself. My thought process goes something like this: I am lonely, I need friends, I will find friends, I will make them like me, I will no longer be lonely. I win. But I am wrong.
Tonight I was thinking about the song Everlasting God. Some of the words say, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." This has never made much sense to me. I always thought of waiting on the Lord as a test of my patience. And I suppose it is; we need patience in order to wait upon the Lord. But the reason for the waiting isn't just to test our patience.
Strength will rise. When we wait for God's timing, for God's plan, he gives us strength. He gives us the fortitude to last until the season of waiting ends. This may seem obvious to you, but it was not to me.
I am in the midst of a season of solitude, but I have been trying to power through it on my own. I am so caught up in my own loneliness, that I have missed out on so many blessings that God has for me. My family. My job. My coworkers. My students. My home. My country.
My God.
No one is perfect, least of all me. I need his grace to make me whole. That's what makes it all the more beautiful. Perfect.
And then God decided to use my best friend to bless me even more. He told her exactly what I battle every day. She knows. And I don't have to be perfect anymore.
I don't feel so lonely tonight.