update on ME

[ralphanzos_a_ho]

... the fact that he is saying he is in love with me about thirty times a day, and still he knows im interested in other people is ridiculous. it confuses me because i feel i'm not loveable and then this happens, and i should give it a chance but there isn't that chemistry there.. i don't feel butterflies when i see him or talk to him. i get annoyed a lot but i know if he were to move on it woud bug me. i'm confused. i miss having best friends. i have julie, who is coming home in a month from the army who adores me and calls me everynight telling me she misses me and i miss her too. i can't wait for her to get home, but its hard when shes not here. i have victoria, but i feel i have to compete with all her other friends. its just weird. i'm still not used to the idea that i'm not with all the people i grew up with in shell beach i miss that feeling so much. school still sucks but i'm dealing. i can't wait to move. looking for a new car, hopefully a scion tc. i just went to the bathroom since i am at school in adv. photo. right now, and these girls tried talking shit about me when they knew i was in there.. it's funny that people waste their breath... i'm over it. it's just sophmore girls that are now dating boys i used to date. stupid girls. one day they'll have something happen to them that helps them to notice there are more important things in life.. the situation with my mom did that for me. and i'm so thankful.
sober now a couples months. i'm proud.