(no subject)
words cannot describe my utter frustration and heart ache.
I don't like telling people when I'm upset, or letting people know when I'm hurting. the only place I have ever really opened up about things like that is on live journal, so I guess this is where I intend to leave it. I guess if you don't want to hear my tragedy and drama, you could stop reading. You have been warned.
So, the house sold. I moved.
To properly put that in perspective, think of it like this. Imagine the house you were born in, raised in, raised all your animals and pets, and was living it to watch over your ailing mother was taken from you because of selfish actions your father took in squandering his money. Add onto that the family playing "dibs" on all the shit in the house, and then waiting till the last 4 days to even start packing your mother's things. Now imagine doing all that while you had top move your own things, and set up a new home for yourself. then add the stress of a brand new job that has strict time schedule and speed requirements and is mandating two hours over time six days a week. Oh, and girlfriend issues to, why not.
Then realize the person responsible for this nightmare is your father. Maybe not your father, you might like him, imagine my father. to help you get a good idea of what he was like, imagine all your good memories about your father, my father would be just like your dad if he never did any of that. as an example, imagine when you where a kid, your dad had you tear up several rooms of your house because he didn't like them, then never finish them. Instead he just waited till you moved out to tear down the whole house and build a new one. All those memories? not important to him. Instead, he went into incredible amounts of debt just to build a house he liked. When your mother became too ill to work or sleep, he had his union drop his life insurance and spouse benefits package just to afford his taste in exotic cars he never worked on, wild west gun fighter training and guns he never used, and the ridiculous ranch he built over the backyard of your childhood.
then, surprise, he dies and leaves your mom with all his debt.
and now, its all gone.
Mom barely made enough money off the sale to cover the mortgage, and will never be able to afford the expensive medical equipment she needs to survive, and now lives in your older brother's guest room.
now I'm left living paycheck to paycheck in a new apartment, a new job, and no way I can get any wiggle room anytime soon. literally, if I get the sniffles and can't get to work for two days, I'm less than homeless.
I'm without any choices. my only hope is things will get better soon.
They say when someone dies, they are always looking down on you. I really hope not. My father did enough looking down on me when he was alive. I hope he can see my middle finger pointed at him in hell.
I don't like telling people when I'm upset, or letting people know when I'm hurting. the only place I have ever really opened up about things like that is on live journal, so I guess this is where I intend to leave it. I guess if you don't want to hear my tragedy and drama, you could stop reading. You have been warned.
So, the house sold. I moved.
To properly put that in perspective, think of it like this. Imagine the house you were born in, raised in, raised all your animals and pets, and was living it to watch over your ailing mother was taken from you because of selfish actions your father took in squandering his money. Add onto that the family playing "dibs" on all the shit in the house, and then waiting till the last 4 days to even start packing your mother's things. Now imagine doing all that while you had top move your own things, and set up a new home for yourself. then add the stress of a brand new job that has strict time schedule and speed requirements and is mandating two hours over time six days a week. Oh, and girlfriend issues to, why not.
Then realize the person responsible for this nightmare is your father. Maybe not your father, you might like him, imagine my father. to help you get a good idea of what he was like, imagine all your good memories about your father, my father would be just like your dad if he never did any of that. as an example, imagine when you where a kid, your dad had you tear up several rooms of your house because he didn't like them, then never finish them. Instead he just waited till you moved out to tear down the whole house and build a new one. All those memories? not important to him. Instead, he went into incredible amounts of debt just to build a house he liked. When your mother became too ill to work or sleep, he had his union drop his life insurance and spouse benefits package just to afford his taste in exotic cars he never worked on, wild west gun fighter training and guns he never used, and the ridiculous ranch he built over the backyard of your childhood.
then, surprise, he dies and leaves your mom with all his debt.
and now, its all gone.
Mom barely made enough money off the sale to cover the mortgage, and will never be able to afford the expensive medical equipment she needs to survive, and now lives in your older brother's guest room.
now I'm left living paycheck to paycheck in a new apartment, a new job, and no way I can get any wiggle room anytime soon. literally, if I get the sniffles and can't get to work for two days, I'm less than homeless.
I'm without any choices. my only hope is things will get better soon.
They say when someone dies, they are always looking down on you. I really hope not. My father did enough looking down on me when he was alive. I hope he can see my middle finger pointed at him in hell.