Greetings people far and wide
Hi.
Yes im still alive, although not impressed with a few things. Yet as people can see this i cant rave the way i want. FUCKING SUCKS!!!!
Rose discovered that our crockery doesnt bounce! Not impressed.
And what the fuck is with the box in the kitchen cupboard????
I was in such a bad mood today ive gone and bought a whole heap of chocolate and chips and am attempting to hide them from the girls. It's my depression stash and i'm gonna eat it. Soon. Really soon if these friging nightmares keep up!
I cant sleep properly anymore.
I keep having horrid dreams about Kyah (Jas' German Shepherd who is gorgeous) and about myself. I wake up in pain crying nearly every night now. I dont know what the dream means though. Does anyone think it means anything if you have a dream about having Ovarian Canver and wake up in pain where the stitches would be if they removed it??? I havent told Jas what teh second dream is. I just dont know how to put it into words to him. I try and i just clam up. He wanted me to tell me but i just couldn't. I dont want to have him worrying about me. I don't NEED him worrying about me. I just keep telling him i'm fine and that i'll be ok, even though he can see it in my eyes that i'm not ok.
I hate lying to him.
I hate myself.
I feel horrid for something i did the other day, yet i know i can never tell anyone because they will judge me and call me names. Even though theyre true, i don't want people to know. Because if the one person I truly love found out, he'd hate me forever. I know he would. Maybe its my conscience that is giving me these nightmares, keeping me from sleeping as punishment for what i did.
I hope it is, because i deserve punishment for what i did.
It was wrong and i hate myself so much.
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes im still alive, although not impressed with a few things. Yet as people can see this i cant rave the way i want. FUCKING SUCKS!!!!
Rose discovered that our crockery doesnt bounce! Not impressed.
And what the fuck is with the box in the kitchen cupboard????
I was in such a bad mood today ive gone and bought a whole heap of chocolate and chips and am attempting to hide them from the girls. It's my depression stash and i'm gonna eat it. Soon. Really soon if these friging nightmares keep up!
I cant sleep properly anymore.
I keep having horrid dreams about Kyah (Jas' German Shepherd who is gorgeous) and about myself. I wake up in pain crying nearly every night now. I dont know what the dream means though. Does anyone think it means anything if you have a dream about having Ovarian Canver and wake up in pain where the stitches would be if they removed it??? I havent told Jas what teh second dream is. I just dont know how to put it into words to him. I try and i just clam up. He wanted me to tell me but i just couldn't. I dont want to have him worrying about me. I don't NEED him worrying about me. I just keep telling him i'm fine and that i'll be ok, even though he can see it in my eyes that i'm not ok.
I hate lying to him.
I hate myself.
I feel horrid for something i did the other day, yet i know i can never tell anyone because they will judge me and call me names. Even though theyre true, i don't want people to know. Because if the one person I truly love found out, he'd hate me forever. I know he would. Maybe its my conscience that is giving me these nightmares, keeping me from sleeping as punishment for what i did.
I hope it is, because i deserve punishment for what i did.
It was wrong and i hate myself so much.
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!