heart ache
It's been awhile....
So the last few nights I've been having weird dreams...they've reminded me of vacations I've had...and that comibined with everything else that's going on has made me kind of sad...
Three nights ago I had a dream about a vacation my father and I took awhile ago (maybe 9th or 10th grade?). He took me to Minnesota because he wanted to look at some land my grandmother owned..they were thinking about selling it and someone needed to go talk to the realtor in person and look at the land....and the summer before my best friend, Katy, got to go to the Mall of America and I was super jealous, so he took me with him to Minnesota and we drove from Minneapolis to my grandmother's old farm on Long lake. It was so beautiful, the lake was gorgeous, my dad told me stories about when he was little and they would go there for vacations, and I got to hear some stories that my grandmother had told him about when she was little. It was cool to see where my grandmother had grown up...the ice shed (where they stored ice they took from the lake for the summer) was still standing on the edge of the land...it was pretty cool...we stayed a night or 2 in Fargo (which was close by) and there was the best diner I've ever been too...I think it's the best one my dad had ever been to as well...it was the place where I first discovered mud pie. We drove back to Minneapolis/St. Paul for the Mall and spent a few nights there, 2 days at the mall, my dad was so awesome about it. He hates shopping and malls but he gave me money to go shop while he wandered around...and we went on some of the rides together at the amusement park. We saw a stand that sold necklaces with the rice and they write on it...I mentioned to him that I had always wanted one and while I was on one of the rides, he went and got one for me, with my name and dad written on it. But the thing I remember the most about that trip was on the way to Long lake we ran into this massive thunderstorm...it was soo bad that you couldn't even see like 2 feet in front of you. It was awesome, we saw it coming from far away, it looked like a mountain range coming towards us...it was kinda scary to drive through, but it was an amazing storm....I had a dream about that storm 3 nights ago.
Two nights ago I had the most vivid dream about Tokyo. I went to Tokyo with my mom and my sister the summer after freshmen year. It was a pretty amazing trip. I don't think it could have been any better, and I don't know if I could ever go back and have nearly as good of an experience. My mom knows lots of people because she worked over there for so long, so we had our own personal tour guides...and when we didn't have anyone, my mom knew how to get around really well. I had a dream that I was there this weekend with my mom (she actually did go to Japan this weekend)...in my dream I was walking around Tokyo Hands (the best store on the planet)...it was soo real, it was like I was actually there...and then I woke up...and it was all gone
Last night I had dreams about Hilton Head...if I could choose to live anywhere in the US, I would probably choose to live in Hilton Head....the beaches are just soo wonderful. The beach at my grandfathers plantation is always empty...it's like having you're own private beach...the whole atmosphere of the island is just so peaceful and relaxing...it's been such a long time since I've been...we didn't go for Christmas this year, and Christmas just wasn't like Christmas at all...it was almost depressing...being at home with just my parents and my sister....my mom said she would drive me up to HH in August, which will be nice
and all of these dreams were so real...it was like I was there...but I wasn't really...I was here....but I think what's been bugging me the most is that I only have 3 weeks left of work...and I'm really gonna miss it....I want to cry when I think about it....it's been soo much fun with all of the co-ops...and at least when the other co-ops leave they get to go back to their friends at home...I've been around my old friends and my new friends the whole time...so when I leave, it will be like losing half of my friends...I mean I might get to hang out with them in July and August, but after that they'll all be gone...and I know this might sound really corny but I think I've been happier the last 6 months than I have been in a long time...even if I do hate my job...which I don't even hate so much anymore...I really don't want June 30th to ever come...it's going to be so hard to no cry on my last day
I was talking to my sister today and explaining stuff to her about computers and she was like "are you sure you don't want to stick with the engineering thing because it sure sounds like you know what you are talking about"...and maybe the whole intel thing really wouldn't be that bad if i was doing something more EE related...who knows
So the last few nights I've been having weird dreams...they've reminded me of vacations I've had...and that comibined with everything else that's going on has made me kind of sad...
Three nights ago I had a dream about a vacation my father and I took awhile ago (maybe 9th or 10th grade?). He took me to Minnesota because he wanted to look at some land my grandmother owned..they were thinking about selling it and someone needed to go talk to the realtor in person and look at the land....and the summer before my best friend, Katy, got to go to the Mall of America and I was super jealous, so he took me with him to Minnesota and we drove from Minneapolis to my grandmother's old farm on Long lake. It was so beautiful, the lake was gorgeous, my dad told me stories about when he was little and they would go there for vacations, and I got to hear some stories that my grandmother had told him about when she was little. It was cool to see where my grandmother had grown up...the ice shed (where they stored ice they took from the lake for the summer) was still standing on the edge of the land...it was pretty cool...we stayed a night or 2 in Fargo (which was close by) and there was the best diner I've ever been too...I think it's the best one my dad had ever been to as well...it was the place where I first discovered mud pie. We drove back to Minneapolis/St. Paul for the Mall and spent a few nights there, 2 days at the mall, my dad was so awesome about it. He hates shopping and malls but he gave me money to go shop while he wandered around...and we went on some of the rides together at the amusement park. We saw a stand that sold necklaces with the rice and they write on it...I mentioned to him that I had always wanted one and while I was on one of the rides, he went and got one for me, with my name and dad written on it. But the thing I remember the most about that trip was on the way to Long lake we ran into this massive thunderstorm...it was soo bad that you couldn't even see like 2 feet in front of you. It was awesome, we saw it coming from far away, it looked like a mountain range coming towards us...it was kinda scary to drive through, but it was an amazing storm....I had a dream about that storm 3 nights ago.
Two nights ago I had the most vivid dream about Tokyo. I went to Tokyo with my mom and my sister the summer after freshmen year. It was a pretty amazing trip. I don't think it could have been any better, and I don't know if I could ever go back and have nearly as good of an experience. My mom knows lots of people because she worked over there for so long, so we had our own personal tour guides...and when we didn't have anyone, my mom knew how to get around really well. I had a dream that I was there this weekend with my mom (she actually did go to Japan this weekend)...in my dream I was walking around Tokyo Hands (the best store on the planet)...it was soo real, it was like I was actually there...and then I woke up...and it was all gone
Last night I had dreams about Hilton Head...if I could choose to live anywhere in the US, I would probably choose to live in Hilton Head....the beaches are just soo wonderful. The beach at my grandfathers plantation is always empty...it's like having you're own private beach...the whole atmosphere of the island is just so peaceful and relaxing...it's been such a long time since I've been...we didn't go for Christmas this year, and Christmas just wasn't like Christmas at all...it was almost depressing...being at home with just my parents and my sister....my mom said she would drive me up to HH in August, which will be nice
and all of these dreams were so real...it was like I was there...but I wasn't really...I was here....but I think what's been bugging me the most is that I only have 3 weeks left of work...and I'm really gonna miss it....I want to cry when I think about it....it's been soo much fun with all of the co-ops...and at least when the other co-ops leave they get to go back to their friends at home...I've been around my old friends and my new friends the whole time...so when I leave, it will be like losing half of my friends...I mean I might get to hang out with them in July and August, but after that they'll all be gone...and I know this might sound really corny but I think I've been happier the last 6 months than I have been in a long time...even if I do hate my job...which I don't even hate so much anymore...I really don't want June 30th to ever come...it's going to be so hard to no cry on my last day
I was talking to my sister today and explaining stuff to her about computers and she was like "are you sure you don't want to stick with the engineering thing because it sure sounds like you know what you are talking about"...and maybe the whole intel thing really wouldn't be that bad if i was doing something more EE related...who knows