Body Image and Self-Confidence
Being a Westerner in Japan is often a pretty singular experience. Many people, especially those who live in the countryside, feel like minor rock stars or local celebrities of some sort (which they legitimately are). Through the years I have heard many a returnee say that part of their reverse culture shock is getting used to not being "special" due to their appearance anymore. I can certainly understand how they feel, though I have always been more comfortable blending in than the other way around. I find being back amongst "my people" a relief more than anything. I guess it's just my nature. I would rather observe than be the observed; rather be part of the group that apart. Japan has forced me to become more extroverted, simply to get through my days.
Standing out so clearly certainly has its side-effects. I have often felt like I'm one of the few people that had a positive boost in their self-image after coming here. At home I am used to feeling scrutinized for my body type. I constantly worry that people think I have an eating disorder, having been accused of it in the past. But I don't ever have to worry about that stuff here because my body type is so common. This is pretty much the only place where I can shop wherever I want, and where the "one size fits all" actually DOES fit me. It's pretty glorious, I gotta say. (But not for my budget!!)
This may sound silly, but I have found that it's much easier to go along with the stereotype of the blue-eyed/blonde-haired gaijin. People love it, for sure, and I have no problems taking advantage of it in terms of social situations, especially where my job is concerned. The parents and the kids see my "typical" gaijin looks and classes tend to go pretty easily, at least at first. I've had students pet me, want to hold my hand all through class, telling me how cute and pretty I am. If it makes my life easier, all right! Keep sending the hair dye, mom. B)
That the Japanese call me attractive is no real shock. It's the same way Westerners see any modestly attractive, "exotic" looking person and call them beautiful, mostly due to their rarity. That's how I feel about my looks here. I have no qualms with my appearance. I know what I look like, and I accept terms like "cute" pretty freely. But having strangers literally stop me on the street and tell me I am beautiful is quite another thing entirely. Yesterday on my way home from work, I was waiting for the train when I saw a teeny tiny old woman (one of the ones who are about 4 feet tall and hunched over) staring at me. I looked at her inquisitively and she broke into a GIGANTIC, wrinkled smile and said "きれいですね！" (Beautiful, aren't you!) I quickly sputtered out a word of thanks and she was gone in a flash. I was left wondering if it had actually happened. Situations like this would never ever happen at home because there are always a million other girls who look just like me (but *better*) wandering around, whereas here, I'm the only one. So, I take the compliments with a grain of salt, try not to let them get to my head, and put them in my memory bank for rainy days. Thanks Japan, I think you're beautiful too.
Standing out so clearly certainly has its side-effects. I have often felt like I'm one of the few people that had a positive boost in their self-image after coming here. At home I am used to feeling scrutinized for my body type. I constantly worry that people think I have an eating disorder, having been accused of it in the past. But I don't ever have to worry about that stuff here because my body type is so common. This is pretty much the only place where I can shop wherever I want, and where the "one size fits all" actually DOES fit me. It's pretty glorious, I gotta say. (But not for my budget!!)
This may sound silly, but I have found that it's much easier to go along with the stereotype of the blue-eyed/blonde-haired gaijin. People love it, for sure, and I have no problems taking advantage of it in terms of social situations, especially where my job is concerned. The parents and the kids see my "typical" gaijin looks and classes tend to go pretty easily, at least at first. I've had students pet me, want to hold my hand all through class, telling me how cute and pretty I am. If it makes my life easier, all right! Keep sending the hair dye, mom. B)
That the Japanese call me attractive is no real shock. It's the same way Westerners see any modestly attractive, "exotic" looking person and call them beautiful, mostly due to their rarity. That's how I feel about my looks here. I have no qualms with my appearance. I know what I look like, and I accept terms like "cute" pretty freely. But having strangers literally stop me on the street and tell me I am beautiful is quite another thing entirely. Yesterday on my way home from work, I was waiting for the train when I saw a teeny tiny old woman (one of the ones who are about 4 feet tall and hunched over) staring at me. I looked at her inquisitively and she broke into a GIGANTIC, wrinkled smile and said "きれいですね！" (Beautiful, aren't you!) I quickly sputtered out a word of thanks and she was gone in a flash. I was left wondering if it had actually happened. Situations like this would never ever happen at home because there are always a million other girls who look just like me (but *better*) wandering around, whereas here, I'm the only one. So, I take the compliments with a grain of salt, try not to let them get to my head, and put them in my memory bank for rainy days. Thanks Japan, I think you're beautiful too.