Stuff...
Haven't had a lot to say lately. Still have a couple (maybe ONE?) days to go yet on my LOTR 30 day thingy, but just haven't been in the mood.
Last week I went in to work at the Senior Center and was shocked and very upset to hear that someone I worked very closely with there for nearly four years had died quite unexpectedly. She'd had bypass surgery last summer. She'd come back to work in September, but eventually decided that it was too much for her and she decided to retire. She'd had some issues and they wanted to put in another stint, but it didn't seem all THAT serious and she was so eagerly looking forward to starting classes and enjoying her retirement. She'd gone for a walk, she came home... and that was it. Her grand-daughter found her later that afternoon on the living room floor. Gone. I'm meeting some friends at the Senior Center today and we're going to the funeral... and yet it STILL seems impossible to me. Impossible and just so wrong!
Sorry, I don't mean to bum anyone out with this, but it's been very upsetting to me and weighing heavily on my mind. She wasn't much older than I am. And she was SO looking forward to her retirement and many years of happiness. And just gone!
It probably all ties in with the fact that I'm going to be 70 on Monday. I mean... 70 isn't middle-aged. 70 is OLD! And I think it scared me to consider... though it's not like I hadn't ever thought of it before.... that it can all be over with between one step and the next. I really liked Margie, though god knows we had our ups and downs. But I think the way I'm feeling is more than grief over losing a friend. It's fear that I'm going to be next! When I write it out or say it... it makes me laugh. It's irrational and stupid to think like that, and I feel sure this feeling will pass. But it's been a very hard week in more ways than one. I want to go running to my doctor and demand that he examine every moving part. Though I just HAD a full exam and he was delighted with my results! My BP is down.. so is my cholesterol. I eat fairly healthy, I exercise.. I try to take care of myself. But that's rational thinking and what I've been feeling isn't rational.
I hope that the funeral today will give me... not to mention the rest of my friends at the Senior Center who are ALL upset and in shock... some closure and some peace.
On a more pleasant note, Cathy and I are thinking seriously about going on a trip to England. But not just ANY trip. We're thinking about taking part in a Scholarly Sojourn, this one called 'Imagining Middle-earth'. The description goes like this:
A Journey to the Places that Inspired Middle-earth
Although recent films of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit were made in New Zealand, for J.R.R. Tolkien himself, Middle-earth came from the landscape and traditions of his beloved England. After months of careful research, we have identified places in this beautiful country which not only inspired Tolkien but which can still inspire us today with their beauty and their unbroken connection to the distant past. Join us for this imaginative, literary pilgrimage to some of the most visually stunning corners of Britain as we explore Tolkien’s works in the places he loved and used to create his masterpieces.
The tour goes to some amazing places, all part of Tolkien's history, ends in Oxford, and is led by Michael Drout who we both really love.
We've already started saving for this trip and are in touch with the folks running it. We can't go on the one happening this year. And will have to go on the 2015 sojourn... though nothing is certain yet. We don't know yet if Drout will sign on for next year.. lots of things still up in the air. But if this actually pans out it could be the trip of a lifetime.
Right now I need something to look forward to.
This entry was originally posted at http://rakshi.dreamwidth.org/1287509.html. Feel free to comment there or here. Makes no difference to me. Happy Days!!
Last week I went in to work at the Senior Center and was shocked and very upset to hear that someone I worked very closely with there for nearly four years had died quite unexpectedly. She'd had bypass surgery last summer. She'd come back to work in September, but eventually decided that it was too much for her and she decided to retire. She'd had some issues and they wanted to put in another stint, but it didn't seem all THAT serious and she was so eagerly looking forward to starting classes and enjoying her retirement. She'd gone for a walk, she came home... and that was it. Her grand-daughter found her later that afternoon on the living room floor. Gone. I'm meeting some friends at the Senior Center today and we're going to the funeral... and yet it STILL seems impossible to me. Impossible and just so wrong!
Sorry, I don't mean to bum anyone out with this, but it's been very upsetting to me and weighing heavily on my mind. She wasn't much older than I am. And she was SO looking forward to her retirement and many years of happiness. And just gone!
It probably all ties in with the fact that I'm going to be 70 on Monday. I mean... 70 isn't middle-aged. 70 is OLD! And I think it scared me to consider... though it's not like I hadn't ever thought of it before.... that it can all be over with between one step and the next. I really liked Margie, though god knows we had our ups and downs. But I think the way I'm feeling is more than grief over losing a friend. It's fear that I'm going to be next! When I write it out or say it... it makes me laugh. It's irrational and stupid to think like that, and I feel sure this feeling will pass. But it's been a very hard week in more ways than one. I want to go running to my doctor and demand that he examine every moving part. Though I just HAD a full exam and he was delighted with my results! My BP is down.. so is my cholesterol. I eat fairly healthy, I exercise.. I try to take care of myself. But that's rational thinking and what I've been feeling isn't rational.
I hope that the funeral today will give me... not to mention the rest of my friends at the Senior Center who are ALL upset and in shock... some closure and some peace.
On a more pleasant note, Cathy and I are thinking seriously about going on a trip to England. But not just ANY trip. We're thinking about taking part in a Scholarly Sojourn, this one called 'Imagining Middle-earth'. The description goes like this:
A Journey to the Places that Inspired Middle-earth
Although recent films of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit were made in New Zealand, for J.R.R. Tolkien himself, Middle-earth came from the landscape and traditions of his beloved England. After months of careful research, we have identified places in this beautiful country which not only inspired Tolkien but which can still inspire us today with their beauty and their unbroken connection to the distant past. Join us for this imaginative, literary pilgrimage to some of the most visually stunning corners of Britain as we explore Tolkien’s works in the places he loved and used to create his masterpieces.
The tour goes to some amazing places, all part of Tolkien's history, ends in Oxford, and is led by Michael Drout who we both really love.
We've already started saving for this trip and are in touch with the folks running it. We can't go on the one happening this year. And will have to go on the 2015 sojourn... though nothing is certain yet. We don't know yet if Drout will sign on for next year.. lots of things still up in the air. But if this actually pans out it could be the trip of a lifetime.
Right now I need something to look forward to.
This entry was originally posted at http://rakshi.dreamwidth.org/1287509.html. Feel free to comment there or here. Makes no difference to me. Happy Days!!